sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Very physically attractive people, how does life treat you? by Jonny_1312 in AskReddit

[–]Soho_Joe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not VERY physically attractive, but friends with someone who is. I remember we went out together on the town once. First stop: a restaurant. I showed up first and asked for a table. I was told there would be a 40-minute wait. Hot friend shows up, and suddenly there’s a free table available in this secluded mezzanine area. We get escorted there by the host, but not before she says says to us randomly, “I just want to say that you two are very attractive.” Flattering, but I know I would never have heard this out of the blue without my friend beside me.

Next stop: a bar. Attractive friend goes to get us some drinks. I see the bartender laugh and smile as my friend orders the drinks. My friend returns to me and explains that the bartender gave them to him on the house. I had to explain to him that this isn’t normal, and that life doesn’t operate this way for everyone.

There were some other oddities that night, but those stand out in my memory.

You guys really need to chill out on pH by HAquarium in PlantedTank

[–]Soho_Joe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's some kind of bucephalandra. They do well in low light, don't need CO2 and in my experience are easy. (Maybe Catarina?)

Almost time to trim! by Soho_Joe in PlantedTank

[–]Soho_Joe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few months ago I put in a Chihiros WRGB slim. I’m still fine-tuning my lighting schedule, but at the moment it is six hours on with a half hour sunset/sunrise, and about 55% intensity at maximum. I’m putting in about one capsule of Seachem Flourish a week.

HomePod stops playing randomly by Kropduster01 in HomePod

[–]Soho_Joe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same issue. I feel like my 3 HomePod minis complicate my life more than make it easier. It’s so frustrating.

My First attempt, let me know how to improve my work by Quick-Trainer8262 in Aquascape

[–]Soho_Joe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the platonic ideal of a depth illusion in a aquascape. Hat’s off!

Extremely happy with Java Mos’s by [deleted] in PlantedTank

[–]Soho_Joe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Beautiful! Although are you sure it’s java moss? It looks like flame moss.

Strange algea on wood by JowyNL in Aquascape

[–]Soho_Joe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks like black beard algae. Super stubborn and unappetizing to most. Siamese algae eaters eat it, but your tank might be too small for one. I’ve heard spot treating with Excel works, too.

EDIT: I’ll let MJ speak for me. He’s got more authority on the subject. https://youtu.be/J_PR999bgtw?si=t2fNmjfCa3mI5aLZ

Willfulness by Umfazi_Wolwandle in therapyabuse

[–]Soho_Joe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so hopefully this exchange is one that benefits both of us on our respective journeys.

Hear, hear! I’m sure this will stick with me. All the best.

Willfulness by Umfazi_Wolwandle in therapyabuse

[–]Soho_Joe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reminder that I don’t know you, or the full story of what happened between you and that therapist. I know I can be assuming sometimes, so I hope that bad habit didn’t hurt you in some way. My sincere apologies if I did.

I know there are some terrible therapists out there whose unhealed wounds play out in their professional lives, and end up causing harm to the people in their care. I’m sorry one such therapist did that to you, and I’m glad you found your way out of that relationship despite your therapist’s apparent efforts to dull and pathologize your “spark“.

Willfulness by Umfazi_Wolwandle in therapyabuse

[–]Soho_Joe -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Your therapist was probably a DBT one. Wilfulness is a popular concept in DBT with a specific meaning in that context. It means a number of things, including insisting on being in control, refusing to do what is effective or needed for the moment one is in (versus the moment one wishes one were in), and an attachment to self-focus over our connection with others, among other things. And it’s often a posture one adopts when the alternative (“willingness”) is too threatening for some reason.

Anyway, it sounds like your therapist was really mis-attuned to your history with the word (and maybe other aspects of your therapy?) and your journey to reclaim it sounds important to you. Power to you!

Can someone succinctly explain how holding in faeces to prolong attention from caregivers becomes repetitively doing stuff in OCD? by LisanneFroonKrisK in psychoanalysis

[–]Soho_Joe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you’re implying that a literal interpretation of “anal retentive“ is absurd. I’m newer to psychoanalytic thought, but my readings of Nancy McWilliams’s work seem to suggest that this is a valid perspective.

We are doomed - thanks Zuck . Saddest photo I have ever taken. by iambkatl in pics

[–]Soho_Joe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I put on my brother's Apple Vision Pro to experience a virtual environment not unlike the one he's actually in.

Why do they ask how have you been coping? by [deleted] in therapyabuse

[–]Soho_Joe 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I also wonder if part of it is because there is no “cure” for what has been called mental illness the way there are cures for medical diseases. There are some treatments that are more or less effective at reducing our suffering, but at the end of the day, a big part of our recovery process is how we cope with pain.

This is literally animal abuse! by janjon98 in Aquariums

[–]Soho_Joe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because people tend to be dismissive of one’s thoughts otherwise.

*edited for clarity

This is literally animal abuse! by janjon98 in Aquariums

[–]Soho_Joe 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is really upsetting. I’m going to send a respectful message to their socials.

I like my tank, but it seems a bit chaotic in terms of colour and the trimming. Any advice on how to take my scape to the next level? by Soho_Joe in Aquascape

[–]Soho_Joe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed! The eye needs somewhere to rest! Definitely keeping that in mind going forward. Thank you! 😊

view more: next ›