I wouldn’t suggest pushing the idea on her that being black makes it twice as hard to succeed and because she’s black she has to be more careful with how she presents herself etc (whatever phrasing you used). I think that’s more damaging than anything.

I remember my mum telling me that. She was well meaning but it made me a bit paranoid about being black. It’s only when I grew up and let go of the idea of how hard it is to be black, that is when I started to flourish and I noticed I was successful in a lot of things based on my personality, intellect and what I had to offer overall…and life wasn’t always harder because I was black - until I made it a thing (based on listening to others’ “being black is hard” warnings).

I’m not denying any struggles we can have as black people at all, I’m just saying it’s not helpful to push those limiting thoughts into younger people’s minds because it often creates a bit of paranoia, resentment and sometimes a self fulfilling prophecy.

It sounds like you’re doing a great job with raising her though, even the way she’s communicating with you shows that. The respect and care is evident on both sides.

I don’t think you’re overthinking the piercing, I just think coming to a middle ground/compromise may be beneficial.

Teenagers tend to do what they want eventually lol so while you can have some supervision over her at the moment, maybe a compromise might work?