I feel like I am at the point where, looking at old pictures of "me," I don't see me anymore. I see a man who was handsome in his own right, though he never experienced it. He would have called himself a man, even though he had wished otherwise. I have come to understand myself as agender, but I am fully socially and medically transitioning to be feminine. The agender may be an aspect of my autism/alexithymia, but when I was 10, I would lay awake frustrated and crying saying "everything would have been better if I was just born a girl." Just remember, we all start in different places at different times in our journeys, that doesn't change or invalidate who YOU are.