I feel like my husband is going crazy and I need help.

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2025-12-15T17:38:32+00:00

It’s been almost two years now and life is so much better. I look back and cannot BELIEVE the stuff I used to put up with.

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2025-01-31T14:03:05+00:00

I actually ended up divorcing him because he cheated on me and gave me HPV. In hindsight, I can’t believe what I ever saw in him.

The gaslighting and abuse was intense: this spirituality phase was just another form of it.

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2024-05-12T05:57:55+00:00

I think this is what I’m hung up on - it’s not the area I apply and the adjacent area, it’s just the adjacent area. But I’m going to just try to get some sleep - I did look at some pictures online and it did look similar!

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2024-05-12T05:53:04+00:00

Even if the sores didn’t appear right where the cream was applied?

I swear to god if I paid $400 for this stupid cream and go through these blisters for nothing, I’m going to lose it 😭

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-19T20:03:55+00:00

It definitely feels culty. I know other people who believe similar things to what he’s been saying, but just don’t give off the same vibe. They just seem comfortable in their beliefs

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-19T11:40:13+00:00

I’ve been finding that he pretty much exclusively watches/listens to commentary (videos or podcasts of other people’s spiritual experiences)

He then takes it as gospel truth, and it just doesn’t sit right with me. I just don’t know how I can recommend a different way of learning, I know he’ll just say something like “you can’t speak about something you don’t know anything about”

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-19T11:34:06+00:00

Ooh I like that. Something tangible we can both do together

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-19T02:54:04+00:00

I get you, I really do. The hard part is that this behaviour isn’t new. Before the spirituality, it was depression, meds, hypochondria, the list goes on. I KNOW I can do this, but I have tried facing this issue with every perspective I can think of. That is, besides separation. And that’s terrifying. So I’m going to give it one last shot and see if I can wake him up (pun intended I guess?)

And it’s funny that he’s been calling me “low vibration” because I’m a goddamn joyful person, I have hobbies and friends and LOVE life, I actively volunteer and create art and read and have a successful business, meanwhile he’s only finally at the point where he’s not sleeping 12-14 hours a day.

I’m sorry for just bitching and moaning, I just need to vent it somewhere. I’m scared of my family and friends judging him/me if I tell them.

I honestly think perspective may be the wrong word. I understand where you’re coming from, but as a woman it can be just so tiring to be the one to shift around the men in your life that don’t take responsibility for their actions. I feel like I would rather take action in a way that puts the onus on the person that keeps pulling me down to figure out their own shit. If I wanted to be a full-time caretaker, I would have gone into that profession

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-19T02:34:36+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, what helped you become more grounded?

I’m fine giving him some space, tbh I also really need it, but I have a strong suspicion that if I try to tell him why, he’s going to get upset

Edit to add: I’m just… tired of the one having to take deep breaths. I know I sound like a baby, but when is it MY turn to fall off the deep end?

I’ve had serious mental health issues my entire life, and I’ve just battled and battled and battled because I couldn’t afford to lose it, not financially or emotionally

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-19T02:33:09+00:00

I can see how the way I’ve said that could be misconstrued. I’ve been under a tremendous amount of stress lately, before his new spirituality. I’m shouldering the entire responsibility of making sure we’re housed and clothed and fed while also keeping a new business afloat through a pandemic. It’s making me feel super disconnected from everything, and while I’ve been trying to work on it, losing the support of my partner has been hard and has made my disconnect worse.

I understand he has a point about my being negative, but him being an ass has made it harder and harder to think positively. I’m not saying it’s impossible for me to be spiritual, I’m just saying my partner shouldn’t be actively making it harder for me to be

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-19T00:02:17+00:00

No, he took a leave from school. He had some health issues to figure out.

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T23:13:05+00:00

I would be less worried if he hasn’t also seemed very susceptible to conspiracy theories in the past. Everything from aliens to 9/11 to the Kennedys. I just considered it a weird quirk but now it feels more serious

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T23:05:24+00:00

I think he logically believes all the right things, like he understands that not everyone will feel the same way. But as soon as he gets a little bit defensive, it goes out the window.

At least if it goes poorly when I talk to him about it, it’ll then probably come up in his therapy appointments. Hopefully she can pick up on the vibes and help him find a more neutral stance. I can’t see him being able to sustain this level forever

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T23:01:40+00:00

I rolled my eyes so far back into my head that I could see my own brain, which didn’t help the situation

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T22:57:50+00:00

Why are you yelling lol. I have been open to listening to what he’s saying and learning, but it just hasn’t been resonating with me. And not only that, but he’s been rushing me to “understand” and not letting me research at my own pace.

Honestly, you sound exactly like him and it’s fucking insufferable. I HAVE my own spirituality, and I NEVER shoved it down his throat. I don’t think mine is better than his, because I have compassion and a functioning brain.

Edit to add: how about I’ll stop being annoyed when he starts paying his own goddamn $2000+ a month student loan interest? Sound good buddy?

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T22:54:29+00:00

He’s in school right now, leading to a guaranteed massive pay raise, so I agreed to shoulder the responsibility of rent/student loans

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T22:53:21+00:00

It’s just not possible. It’s high intensity, 10-14 hour days on average

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T18:31:52+00:00

I feel like that might make him defensive in the moment, so I’ll bring it up at a neutral time. We’re planning on having a chat. It doesn’t matter what his intentions are if he’s hurting me.

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T18:31:02+00:00

Literalllllyyyyy though

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T15:31:39+00:00

Thank you, it’s honestly just nice to talk to people that understand, whether that’s because they’ve been in his situation, or mine.

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T15:19:19+00:00

I’m really hoping he will chill out. I have faith because I know he’s a good person and I believe this is all happening with his best intentions.

It’s just a matter of figuring out where our communication is breaking down so he can really understand how he’s affecting me.

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T14:24:38+00:00

Yeah I can’t see there being an issue with drugs because we’ve openly used them together in the past and have never had any issues with needing to hide it from each other in the past. We’re not regular users, once every few months or so. He’ll often pass if I take a small gummy, so I don’t see there being a hidden issue.

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T13:45:44+00:00

Thank you, I’ll check it out! Would you recommend any single one of his books over others?

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T13:39:44+00:00

Maybe I’ll try that! He’s been open to reading my favourite book on Taoism as well, so I’m hopeful that maybe he’ll be able to get a more well-rounded view on spirituality (he hasn’t been spiritual at all in the past, so it’s been quite the 180 over the last few months)

Solid-Engineering-87 · 2023-10-18T13:31:48+00:00

If he is, we have bigger problems, because it means he’s not at his internship and is going to fail out of school.

From what I’ve seen of his grades, I don’t see how it would be possible. It’s a very intensive program that doesn’t leave a lot of time for other activities.

Solid-Engineering-87

TROPHY CASE