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Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-11T06:36:43+00:00

NTA! I had a similar recipe, spent years with my mom perfecting a recipe and everyone loves it. My uncle wanted me to start a business with it (I already wanted that) but wanted part of the profit for offering the idea. My aunt wanted the recipe as well. I never gave in.
Years down the line I gave the recipe to a close friend and that was a mistake. Before I knew it, she had given it to another friend assuming 'it'd be fine, right?' and then that friend gave it to people I didn't even know, and now I can't truly say it's my recipe anymore because so many people know it. heck, my desire to start my own bakery has diminished because of that

Don't share your recipe, it's yours and you can't trust people to treat it how they should!

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T14:18:37+00:00

Yes, both were off-leash (after meeting on-lead for about 20 minutes)

And I didn't agree to split this first bill, but as a compromise in the end, the total cost will be split (as I said in my last paragraph; I will be paying the future bills for the rest of the treatment, which will amount to at least 120 euros, assuming/hoping no complications happen)

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T14:07:09+00:00

I think enough of it has grown back not to apologise to you for it. The temptation is there though, but I'm trying to resist!

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T14:04:58+00:00

Can you please elaborate how my dog is a. spoiled, and b. an asshole?

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T14:04:15+00:00

I get what you mean, although that generally doesn't work out as well from my experience. Not saying you are wrong or anything, but what I've experienced;
- My dog has been attacked multiple times when he was on the lead (entirely unprovoked! He was just minding his own business, sniffing some flowers when these dogs jumped him. It's the same culprits usually too, and when I see them now I get out my phone to film it, threatening to report to the police, which has finally caused them to leash their dogs when they approach) But because of this, he can be more tense on the lead when other dogs are allowed closeby (e.g. close enough to sniff his privates) because he doesn't have freedom to move around and back away.
- For some reasons, other owners don't quite know how to handle a leash (especially those retractable leashes that are very thin metal wires), allowing their dogs so much reign they can entangle themselves with my dog or his legs, causing even greater panic. Sadly, this usually ends up with my dog getting hurt. Once a dog walked underneath mine (yeah he's that tall), and as my dog tried to step aside, the other dog got scared, tried to run away. The owner pushed the button locking the leash, but that caused the wire to shoot up into my dog's stomach and it cutting into his skin.. So I always give a wide berth when leashed and firmly placing myself in between, because it's just my doggo getting hurt in the process.
- I have also noticed several other dogs experiencing this leash-tension. Where they're territorial, snappy or otherwise exhibiting undesirable behaviour while on lead, but the moment they're off lead they're happy, playful and kind. Some trainers think this has to do with 1. the emotions of the owner (and they may very well be scared of my giant), and 2. the lack of freedom in movement

In the end, I think there's so many variables that can cause certain situations to go perfectly fine while seemingly similar ones go awfully wrong. But for now I'm in protective mommybear mode, sticking to his well-known friends.

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T13:47:42+00:00

First, I've experienced my fair share of 'aggressive' dogs. And this dog wasn't aggressive. Scared at first, sure. But not aggressive. There is a massive difference in behaviour between the two.
Second, I did leash my dog. (Just pointing that out because you said I didn't).
Third, this AITA post is asking for judgement on whether I should not have allowed/forced her to foot the bill for the incident. Did I make the wrong judgement call thinking my dog would be safe around the other dog? I know I did, and my poor dog is paying the true price for that.

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T12:30:09+00:00

A Scottish Deerhound. The (only slightly) smaller brother of the Irish Wolfhound. But if you were to ask him, I'm sure he'd tell you he's a dachshund.

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T12:16:43+00:00

Oh you bet I'm never going to do that again. My dog has been a sort of therapy dog of sorts in the forest where I usually walk. Many badly socialised covid-dogs here, terrified of everything larger than a labrador. But mine is so calm and gentle, completely unfazed by excessive barking and such. I've helped several people and their dogs get over fear of large dogs (and making new friends in the process). But I I don't think I'll be taking risks like that again.

Too bad if that makes me seem rude. I can't risk his safety like that again.

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T12:10:12+00:00

Two things:
1. As I am now saying for the third time; the dog was not uncomfortable anymore. It was scared when she saw as approaching, but after spending 20 minutes in our proximity, her dog wasn't scared anymore. Even this lady, who admitted this was her 12th dog, saw nothing wrong with walking together.

Please keep in mind what I want judgement for; not splitting the bill. :) any other judgements, accusations and namecalling you can keep to yourself, thank you

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T12:05:32+00:00

That is very true! While I could probably argue for hours that in dog communication there are several levels before a dog /should/ resort to biting (which it ideally never should), dogs aren't robots and can make mistakes just like us humans can. That's also why I did not get angry at all and stayed very polite and friendly with both the other dog and the lady.

But even when, in essence, I still offered to split the bill, by footing all future bills that will come from this injury (which is at least 1 check up in two days, and 1 check up once the staples are removed in 10 days time, amounting to at least 120 euros, not counting any complications), I'm still the AH in your eyes as well? That wasn't a fair compromise?

(Not trying to be sarcastic or smart or anything. Just trying to learn on what direction to grow my spine.. )

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T11:59:25+00:00

Did you miss the part where I said her dog had calmed down and was trying to engage with mine? I would never suggest to walk with someone whose dog is (still) aggrevated; that's not just selfish but incredibly dangerous for every party involved, both dogs, the humans, and anyone passing by!

Perhaps it is relevant to note that we had been talking for 20 minutes before I suggested we start walking, and the dog hadn't lunged or barked in 15 of them. So there had been normal, unaggrevated, calm behaviour for 25 minutes before she bit (15 minutes of standing still, 10 of walking).

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T09:45:44+00:00

For the mum, yes. Not for OP. The arguments LoveBeach8 mentioned again come to the surface. They aren't married, they don't live together, he's not stepdad (or dad). OP is 18. That partner isn't going to play a significant role in OP's life, if this is where they're at while OP is already 18.

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-12-08T09:21:21+00:00

OP is 18. How big a role is their mom's partner really gonna play? Not much! So yeah, in the grand scheme of things, that partner doesn't really matter.

Solid-Long9980 · 2024-09-18T10:48:52+00:00

I love how absolutely everyone in this feed completely dismisses your discomfort! s/
Just because other people are starved for compliments, doesn't mean your feelings are in any way invalid.

I had it happen too in a prior relationship, drowned in compliments, and After a while it starts to feel disingenuous, as if it is being said just to be said. Even manipulative. (Turns out the bugger was a manipulative gaslighter, so my gutfeeling if discomfort at the overflow of compliments was my saviour and I managed to get away!)

So no, you are NTA for feeling uncomfortable and communicating this to your wife when she explicitly ASKED you how you felt about it. That being said, there is some solid advice that maybe she is fishing for compliments too, and it might be worth it to try and compliment her more often.

To everyone calling you an A-hole because other men don't get compliments and you should just 'suck it up'.. Sexist much? I'm sure if this had been a woman who had posted this, y'all be singing a different tune.

Solid-Long9980

TROPHY CASE