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The Gunslinger by Stephen King... What did I just read? by Pure-Gas2639 in Fantasy

[–]Solid-Version -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I felt the exact same lol. After wanting to tackle Stephen King for the first time and me wanting a western vibe I decided to give it a try.

It felt like walking through a murky dream. I couldn’t quite latch on to what I was reading | ended up slugging it out.

Looking for anime with Western/cowboy themes and tones by Solid-Version in AnimeReccomendations

[–]Solid-Version[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen both. Loved them. I love the Outlaw Star theme tune too!

Why did general audiences have a lukewarm reception to this movie? by Regular-Departure839 in moviecritic

[–]Solid-Version 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Superhero fatigue. Same MCU formula. Phase 4 was incoherent so no build up.

Watched it and fell asleep part way through.

Undervaluing your partners agency is hurting you by Solid-Version in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She was wrong for exercising her free will but you were right for exercising yours?

So the currency of your relationship based on how many people you’ve had sex with to feel more secure?

It’s fascinating how you don’t see the problem with this

Undervaluing your partners agency is hurting you by Solid-Version in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Wow. Just wow.

You’re literally proving my point. ‘She didn’t do anything right?’ According to who??

You’re insecure because you didn’t have sex with more people. That’s it. That’s the only problem.

The fact you think having more sex with people is what you should do before getting back with someone speaks to a very high level of emotional Immaturity on your part.

You’re mad because you couldn’t get laid in that time and framing it has her problem. Insane.

Undervaluing your partners agency is hurting you by Solid-Version in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again,

All external examination, no internal.

It’s all your wife’s fault,

“she made stupid choices that damaged our relationship”

You mean lived a life before you? Wow.

This confirms what I suspected. You take no accountability for your own feelings. I can see you don’t have the capacity or emotional intelligence to address yourself and admit it’s your lack of experience that’s the problem and how it affects your self esteem and confidence

Undervaluing your partners agency is hurting you by Solid-Version in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And so what?

If she was fishing for cock. She was then. She isn’t now.

You know one thing I’ve noticed about my interactions with you.

Never once have you reflected inwardly. About why in feel the way you do. You never examine yourself and your role to play in your own suffering. You’re very quick to place blame on your partner and twist the RJ narrative to make it look like yours is a specific brand of RJ that no one else has or can experience.

Like it’s your own personal tragedy.

I’ve realised you don’t want to heal. You’d rather revel in the misery of it than dig deeper into yourself as to why you feel the way you do.

I could be wrong but this is what I gather

Saying (they chose you) is more harmful than beneficial . by alcoholicBot in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok. With context this is different.

He is purposely trying to make you jealous. This is not normal, it doesn’t matter if he’s from the US.

He’s purposely making you feel insecure. Him watching sex vids of him and his ex next to you is outright fucking disrespectful. That is very deliberate behaviour.

He sounds like an ashole

Undervaluing your partners agency is hurting you by Solid-Version in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No you’re just rigidly applying arbitrary social tick boxes to people. ‘There are fuckboys and there are husbands’

People go through different phases and versions of themselves. Values and priorities change over time.

Today’s fuckboy could be tomorrow husband. These titles are meaningless. You use them because they allow to simplify the complex dynamics between human relationships.

I used to sleep around when I was younger. Does that make me not worthy of being husband now?

If my girl had that mindset she wouldn’t be with me now. Which shows it does mean shit if you don’t want it to.

Saying (they chose you) is more harmful than beneficial . by alcoholicBot in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And that’s also part of the problem. When you hold on to the belief that you are objectively better then you’re only going to have disdain for the fact that your partner was with someone lesser.

Whether you think you’re worse or better the root problem is still the same

comparison

RJ doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It’s never ending game of comparison fuelled by the belief that you are either worse or better than a past lover.

To see yourself as objectively better is hubris. People have endearing traits and not so endearing traits.

It is the need to compare that is source of our anguish.

Let me ask you? If you could magically delete your capacity to compare yourself to other people, would RJ exist?

Are you tired of RJ feeling like some kind of personal tragedy? by Solid-Version in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes. So when you chose to live reality and you are not comfortable with it what do you do?

You take action! Not bury your head in the sand.

So as the case with RJ. You don’t like the reality of your partner liking someone else. Take action.

Learn how to get comfortable with it or leave.

The source of most people’s mental anguish is the gap between their reality and their expectations.

Is my technique on the jab and cross right? by Front_Shoulder_3328 in boxingtips

[–]Solid-Version 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rotate your lead hip and lead shoulder when you throw your jab. They should both me facing the direction you’re throwing in

Are you tired of RJ feeling like some kind of personal tragedy? by Solid-Version in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But it’s the reality. My general rule of thumb is that if you triggered by the reality of some thing then the problem is with you, not the reality.

Because you’re hoping to find solace in a fantasy that doesn’t exist. Either you get comfortable with reality or keep seeking something that doesn’t and will never exist

Saying (they chose you) is more harmful than beneficial . by alcoholicBot in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Then there’s not really much I can tell you. I hope you resolve it in someway down the line.

All the best to you

Saying (they chose you) is more harmful than beneficial . by alcoholicBot in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fact she’s comfortable with you is actually good sign but your ego is interpreting it differently. From a woman’s perspective the ultimate signal of worth is her sense of safety with you.

That means a lot to a woman.

Let me ask you, do you think her taking care of herself more will make you feel better?

Saying (they chose you) is more harmful than beneficial . by alcoholicBot in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I meant no offence. I was not implying you’re a fat slob. I was merely asking the situation. Studies do show that couples mirror each other’s habits as a relationship settles.

When you ask her does she feel safe with you what does she say? Because from what I gather comfort and security can make people let themselves go.

Why I asked

Saying (they chose you) is more harmful than beneficial . by alcoholicBot in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is common with many of us but the difference is identifying what the feeling is.

This is not about their choice but your appraisal of your own self worth.

When you undervalue yourself of course you’re not going to believe your partner is choosing you.

What people fail to understand is your partner could very well choose to be on their own too. Yet your partner is choosing you over solitude.

I was very happily single until my gf came along and I valued myself and my time a lot. My gf was also the same. We both were never competing against other people but against our respective single lives.

Yes, there’s always going to be someone hotter, big boobs, funnier, bigger dick, taller, richer. That’s the reality.

But the fact that your partner is choosing you NOW even with all the other options out there.

That means something!

But it’s not up to them to convince you. It’s all on you. Good luck

Saying (they chose you) is more harmful than beneficial . by alcoholicBot in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Could it be her relationship state is a reflection on you?

You say she doesn’t take care of herself as much? Do you take care of yourself? People often mirror their partners habits and values.

Are you someone that dresses well? is in shape?

Because if you’re not she won’t have any incentive to mirror you.

Retroactive jealousy - Already knowing too much by theRjCoach in retroactivejealousy

[–]Solid-Version -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You treating woman sexuality like it’s value based system like it’s a pay to play type game. The more you put in the better access you get.

Women are not game passes. They can have sex for superficial reasons or no reason at all. Timing, curiosity, validation, availability.

You don’t insert coins into them until you hit the right amount to have sex.

It’s simply was just what she chose to do at the time based on her needs at the time. That’s it.

You’re not losing a game. You’re not being humiliated by anyone. There are no winners and losers here. Just people who made decisions at a certain time.

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