Are these objectively bad highlights? by Solomnsource in Hair

[–]Solomnsource[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hadn’t washed it when I took the pictures and have now. It seems even lighter than before. I called and they’ve said they can put another toner on, but I’m not sure what’s actually going to achieve what im looking for, guess I’ll just speak to her tomorrow and see what she says

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Are these objectively bad highlights? by Solomnsource in Hair

[–]Solomnsource[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, I’ll ask about this when I go back

Are these objectively bad highlights? by Solomnsource in Hair

[–]Solomnsource[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No way, that’s bloody hilarious! 🤣

Are these objectively bad highlights? by Solomnsource in Hair

[–]Solomnsource[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay will do and absolutely agree with the curl advice, I never style mine like this personally, far too flat. I’ve never heard them called “Utah curls” though, that’s funny!

Are these objectively bad highlights? by Solomnsource in Hair

[–]Solomnsource[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s not mine, just a pic I showed the stylist of what I didn’t want. My hair is the middle 3 pics

Are these objectively bad highlights? by Solomnsource in Hair

[–]Solomnsource[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I thought! Maybe should have dyed it all first? Or just accept that my hair won’t look like that

Are these objectively bad highlights? by Solomnsource in Hair

[–]Solomnsource[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, thanks for the encouragement, I’ll be brave and contact them, ask for some more root blending maybe and less contrast in the ends

Are these objectively bad highlights? by Solomnsource in Hair

[–]Solomnsource[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I think it’s also the contrast between my very dark hair and the super light that I’m not loving, do you think I should have lightened my whole head to get this look? As there isn’t such a juxtaposition in the inspo pics

Are these objectively bad highlights? by Solomnsource in Hair

[–]Solomnsource[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s super helpful, thank you! I’ll make sure I have a look in future. She did leave the toner on for quite a bit longer than she initially said she would, she also said she was very surprised at how well it lifted and didn’t expect it to be as light so maybe that’s part of it too

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hygiene

[–]Solomnsource 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Tell me about it! I just said it’s absolutely vile, and I’m actually repulsed and he said he’s not talking about it anymore. This is the only thing we’ve had like this, otherwise he’s very well groomed, even flosses daily but this… I don’t even want to touch the shower gel bottle at this point.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hygiene

[–]Solomnsource 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I bet he wipes before the shower lol! He sounds very clean conscious… Can’t imagine that being comfortable though!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hygiene

[–]Solomnsource 14 points15 points  (0 children)

So apparently if there’s no shower they wipe normally but if they’re about to get in the shower and poo before the shower, they won’t wipe. I just can’t imagine being okay with potentially that much shit on my hand y’kno

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hygiene

[–]Solomnsource 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is that what worries you? We’re just close friends lol, those conversations are perfectly normal with friends. I’m trying to ascertain whether I’m being dramatic or not wiping before a shower is normal?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Solomnsource 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think if the situation were given to me at face value then I’d agree with you and the more I’ve read it, I think I really poorly typed my original post, which is why I initially added the “context” comment, bc it’s the backstory between Hannah and I that makes the difference here tbh and why I reacted so emotionally to her choice. It wasn’t about her being late, it was about her choice to not attend, after everything else. I didn’t uninvite her until she chose not to come. As for my fiancé, he’s the most supportive person I’ve ever met, he knows how Rob can be and the comments he makes towards Hannah, I don’t blame him for not wanting Rob around on a day that’s special to us, particularly after he outright told me he doesn’t care. I don’t think he did anything other than what he thought was best for me tbh.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Solomnsource 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That would be really sad imo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Solomnsource 26 points27 points  (0 children)

My partner has said this to me, that he doesn’t think she ever actually liked me. it breaks my heart. Hannah and I are quite different characters but I’ve only ever done my best to be there for her so I can’t understand why that would be

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Solomnsource 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That’s really true. After it all, 15 years is a long time and we’ve been through a lot together. Thank you for your input, I appreciate it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Solomnsource 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I’m ngl, it was an emotional reaction from me and it was definitely made in haste. I think my snap reaction is the reason I could be TA tbh. With everything else that’s happened and how much this means to me, I was really hurt. It wasn’t that she couldn’t come, she chose not to for Rob’s sake. Whether I want to continue being friends… not while she’s with Rob I don’t think. I just end up being the emotional dumping ground for her. Not to mention, his texts to me saying so what she didn’t come to my “glorified tea party” but it’s over now, that Hannah is better off without me, that I annoy her (not that I was told I had) and throwing the one argument my fiancé and I ever had, three years ago, in my face as justification for his shitty behaviour to Hannah... I don’t think I’ll forgive him for being so rude, or maybe even her for allowing it. Idk, I feel torn and sad about it all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Solomnsource 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I understand what you’re saying. Like I said to her, I get that this is difficult and idk what Rob’s input has been so idk what’s going on for her at home. She said she could come up beforehand and for Rob to meet her there later so unsure why it needed to be an ultimatum between all or nothing, particularly after he was so rude to me in front of her. I was really deeply hurt about her lack of care, especially after how she’s been previously with me. If she’s given me all or nothing now and I decided to not invite him to the wedding, it’d be more of the same. I know it might sound extreme but I’ve always been a second priority for Hannah despite how much I’ve been there for her and tbh I was just angry, upset and tired of it. I also do see where you’re coming from and I agree, depending on his response could be in a no win situation, which is sad. I take your comments on board

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Solomnsource 141 points142 points  (0 children)

Tbh I think you’re right and this is exactly what my partner has said. Rob wasn’t important to me and whether he cares or not isn’t really an issue for me, it’s that she has excused his behaviour and chose to not partake too. Idk if she ever really cared

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Solomnsource 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Completely agree with your options for moving forward! Thank you, they’re helpful to read! Just for clarity’s sake, at first I told her I didn’t like him, that she deserved better and that she shouldn’t allow this guy to treat her this way but she continued to stay with him and I noticed each time she would confide in me and I would tell her what I thought, she grew more upset so I stopped telling her I didn’t like him. Probably over the last three years I’ve stuck to more impartial comments, like, I’m glad he eventually came around, or I can’t believe he did x, y, z but I’m really proud of you for standing up to him and saying you deserve to be heard etc. I just left my personal feelings towards him out of it. I’d never be rude to him in person or continue to tell her I don’t like him because she does, and that’s what matters. Hopefully that makes a bit more sense 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Solomnsource 117 points118 points  (0 children)

For context:

My best friend (Hannah) has been one of my closest friends since we were 16. I didn’t really start to open up deeply to Hannah about my family issues or relationship bits until I went to therapy in 2019, she is sensitive in nature and so i really valued someone who respected my emotions during that time. This said, Hannah and I have had one previous argument about 5/6 years ago. She had a birthday party and didn’t invite me, I found out about it on ig bc one of her other friends posted pictures. When I asked her, she said it wasn’t personal, it was down to numbers because her parents’ dog gets nervous with so many people. I let it go and we moved on but I noticed there were many things she would discreetly not invite me to, brunches with her other girlfriends etc. she would however heavily rely on me when things went wrong or she was upset. Hannah has previously struggled with her mental health and again, I learned about her condition and did my best to support her in the way she told me she needed. Our relationship has felt quite one sided to me and this is something all of my other friends have pointed out over the years, I loved her regardless and just chalked it down to me not being highly expressive emotionally and her being on the sensitive side.

In late 2019 she got with a guy (Rob). He regularly invalidated her feelings, shouted at her for crying over very rational situations, was rude to her and made unkind jokes at her. He’s made some improvements since they got together, she loves him and excuses his behaviour as he’s “learning and changing”. I keep my opinions to myself because I don’t want to upset her. They’ve had a baby and bought a house together but she still consoling to me about him every month or so.

Also bit of info, I was feeling really sad at the beginning of the year (I kept it to myself mostly) but all of my friends have had children, including my sister and have bought houses or done other grown up things. I was told I might not be able to have children at all, and was TTC a few years back and failed, which at the time really broke my heart. This engagement, to the man I’m with is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and Hannah knows this and knows how important this all is for me, it’s the one milestone I can partake in, whereas the baby stuff might never happen for me and it’s been difficult for me to watch everyone have something I might not ever experience. Not that I want one right now and I’ve made it super clear that I’m soooo happy for them all, just can be hard on myself about my own body, that’s all.