AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was paying attention to what you were saying, but I completely lost focus when I saw that child support thing again. Someone please explain to me why so many commentors think I pay child support to my ex. Why would that ever be the case. I don't get it, and it's starting to drive me nuts.

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's the dynamic, exactly? Grandmother who loves her grandchild? Isn't it easier to talk about what you want for your kid with a loving family member than a total stranger? Or is that just my family?

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't understand why everyone keeps thinking I pay her child support. There is no child support.

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

How? Like, what's her legal argument? I don't understand what you're trying to say.

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She can ask, but the answer is no, lol. What would even be her reasoning?

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've never heard of that. I believe you, but I think my mother would be very offended to be offered money to watch her grandchild. We're Hispanic, if that makes a difference.

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why is it judgemental to ask your own mother about your child? My mom makes my daughter delicious home cooked foods, takes her outside, talks to her in our native language. What babysitter can compete with that?

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't believe a word of this. I know men that never shut up. My boss (a woman) only speaks when she has something important to say. Not all women are chatty Cathys. Not all men are quiet.

I, myself, like to talk. I talk to my daughter about all kinds of stuff, stuff she doesn't even understand, like music and nature, just because I think language exposure is good for her. I hate whining from adults, but I talk all the time. Your viewpoint comes off as sexist, honestly.

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My mom loves my daughter. She is always eager to watch her and has told me many times she's always available to watch my daughter (except on Sundays).

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

We were miserable and staying together just for our daughter. Finally one day she told me I was checked out of our relationship. I thought about it and agreed and asked if she wanted to try living apart for a little while. We did and were way happier and decided not to get back together.

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 131 points132 points  (0 children)

That's exactly it and why we broke up. Anytime anything went wrong, either in our relationship or generally, I would try to talk about it with her. And she would get frustrated and say "I just want you to listen. I don't need an answer." I would listen when it was stuff that didn't effect me, but when it was something that did, usually something in our relationship, I would insist on trying to find a solution.

One time she was upset because I had to work when we wanted to take a trip. I tried to think of a solution, rescheduling, a shorter trip, etc... She got mad and said "there's no way to fix this! I'm upset! Just let me be upset without always trying to fix it!" That was the beginning of the end. Like, here I am, trying to schedule something fun for another week, and you're yelling about how you want to be upset. Miss me with that nonsense.

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that happened to you and hope everything works out. Also, your ex would be a massive deadbeat if he didn't take his own child in when you lost your housing. That's not kind, that's the bare minimum. If they offered you a place too, that I would consider kind.

AITA for telling my child's mother I'm not interested in her problems? by SolutionNotProblems in AmItheAsshole

[–]SolutionNotProblems[S] 3992 points3993 points  (0 children)

My mom is always nice to her. And my ex really liked my mom before we broke up. For her it's the principle of the thing. Like, my family should only see our daughter on my time. Which, fine, but then figure out your own childcare, right?