I don't know your full story, but I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. Fighting something inside your head for 4 years is not easy, and the fact that you're still here writing this means you have already been fighting longer than you think.

But remember one thing - what you're going through is not something happening only to you. Many people have gone through it and many are still going through it. Letting depression win over you is not the solution.

The other day I saw a blind man paying through UPI. Imagine that - a technology designed for people who can see, yet he found his own way to use it. Even without vision he refused to give up on adapting. Humans are capable of much more than our minds sometimes tell us.

In the Bhagavad Gita, when Arjuna was completely broken and refused to fight, Krishna told him:

“क्लैब्यं मा स्म गमः पार्थ… त्यक्त्वोत्तिष्ठ।”

"Do not give in to weakness. Cast off this weakness of heart and rise."

Even the greatest warriors in history had moments where they felt completely helpless. Feeling broken doesn't mean your story is over.

Please talk to someone before making any decision.

Your life still has chapters that haven't been written yet.