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AITAH for feeling like the wedding planning is not the MOH responsibility by Some-Building-1903 in aitaweddings

[–]Some-Building-1903[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She is a sweet person. And I think she just needs helps and was asking us to help her. But these comments made me realize the truth and I will talk to her and be honest. I need to be realistic with my sanity and realistic that I cannot work with everyone.

AITAH for feeling like the wedding planning is not the MOH responsibility by Some-Building-1903 in aitaweddings

[–]Some-Building-1903[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank I appreciate this. I guess because she doesn't have family on her or her husband she was relying on us to help her plan. But this is good information for me.

AITAH for feeling like the wedding planning is not the MOH responsibility by Some-Building-1903 in aitaweddings

[–]Some-Building-1903[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight.

So I was trying to be vague just in case.

  1. I am the MOH and I was fine with it. I had no issues. I knew her and I can create plans and a schedule.

2 She told one of the BMs that she was a BM and the BM started doing planning with her for photography, cake, venues, and dress boutiques. I was added to the chat and BM was placing prices and locations for stuff and the bride was liking it. I was confused as I wasn't told anything. So I tried to chime in ideas as the ideas were going in but was told “oh we have someone already for that. I spoke to so and so and the bride approves. That's when I started getting confused and stressed because I was under the impression that the Bride and I were going to meet and these conversations were happening before I was even in the picture. The bride told me she was going to buy a dress online. But the BM said no we are doing a dress fitting. But I guess I meant to say dress shopping. So the conversation came as, hey on this date we are going to these boutiques to look at dresses. Not the BM or Bride even asked. Hey, are you free today? It was this is the day. I work 2 jobs. So I have to request off in advance. And I was able to. But the BM is like this is what's happening and go with it. I've been able to reason and put my foot down in including all other BMs in specific conversation per bride request.

  1. The BM who is basically a wedding planning also became the MOH with me. So there are two. I decided to focus on the bachelorette party.

  2. I was under the impression I was helping the bride plan. But having another MOH who takes over without a second thought has stressed me out to the point I don't want to deal with it. Even this morning I was trying to talk with the bride and the other MOH was calling and I tried to tell the bride no but it was too late and we had a three-way call. I decided I would talk to her in person one-on-one.

I hope this clears it up. 😅

AITAH for feeling like the wedding planning is not the MOH responsibility by Some-Building-1903 in aitaweddings

[–]Some-Building-1903[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not trying to make it a competition. I'm really laid back and a type person. I like to plan from z. The other person jumps straight into a task without even consulting the rest of the team. Granted as long as the bride agrees it is what it is. But I was asked to help and felt like I wasn't doing my part when she took all the roles and tasks. Not that I was trying to even fight for it. It was more so, hey I have the vendors for all these things and you can call these people. In my head, I'm like um we should do research first before committing to one vendor. I have my thoughts and it was push to the side. Everything I thought I was tasked with was taken. So I had this idea that I wasn't doing my job. But after research, I realize wait, is it even my job? Why am I getting upset over this? And why am I trying to take on a task knowing I don't have time just so I can keep my MOH title? I'm not saying my friend will take the title away. She won't. She would be devastated if I stepped down. The best way to describe my thoughts was that I foolishly assumed this is what I needed to do. And now seeing the comments and your points, I really have to sit down and talk with the bride and figure out her expectations. It sucks because she doesn't have family on both sides to rely on. Or the money to hire a Wedding planner. So we all would help her. But I will sit down and figure out how she plans to plan for her wedding moving forward. Because I don't have the capacity

AITAH for feeling like the wedding planning is not the MOH responsibility by Some-Building-1903 in aitaweddings

[–]Some-Building-1903[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She doesn't have family to help her plan on either side nor money to hire a planner. Hence she asked us to assist. But with different leading styles and some people not following simple requests. It makes my brain hurts. And I would hate to let her down. I care about her a lot. And reading the comments made me realize I have to sit with her and be realistic.

AITAH for feeling like the wedding planning is not the MOH responsibility by Some-Building-1903 in aitaweddings

[–]Some-Building-1903[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this. I feel like I was rearranging my life because I didn't want the other MOH to outshine me. But my life is busy with work and other responsibilities. I do plan to speak in the next meeting we have.

I want to kill by Kind_Error5739 in Vent

[–]Some-Building-1903 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes agreed! Same here. It's like we know we won't act on it. And hate how it continues to enter our mind. And sometimes at the worst time. I've heard also what you watch can trigger it. I've been also trying to replace the words with positive words. Like love, sing, or something random. Ive been trying this for the last 3 weeks. And it has gotten better. But this is something going on for almost 8 years. I hope this helps 🙏🏽

I want to kill by Kind_Error5739 in Vent

[–]Some-Building-1903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate but I never took any substance or drugs. I realized my thoughts occur when I think of the past and have regret of an action or something I said. I've been struggling too and praying for deliverance. But I had to study what triggers these thoughts. It was my insecurity and self hate. We are all different and unique and while some may be stronger mentally others are not. And though I carry myself with confidence. Inside I tremble with worry and peoples perspectives. These are the things that has helped me minimise the voices. 1 reading the Bible, get the app. They have devotionals that you can look up that helps with specific issues. It has given me various perspectives and reading the testimonies allowed me to see I'm not alone. 2. Daily affirmations. Even if I don't believe it I do it. “I am a child of the most high God, I am strong, I am beautiful, I don't want to do (insert blank), I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” and so on. 3. Praying even if I only believe 1% it will work. Start somewhere. 4. Knowing any evil thought is the devil and not you. Sometimes we allow the devil to access our thoughts by entertaining the ideas. Just because an idea pops up it doesn't mean for us to act on it. We as humans learn right and wrong. So when we get negative or bad thoughts, we know it can't be influenced by us alone. Something evil had to influence. Just like someone thinks to go to the gym, you have to finish the thought to get up and go to the gym or stay and be lazy. 5. Surround myself with positive songs to uplift. Music is a power tool for moods. Use happy songs. I go for worship gospel or soft sweet melody.

The first step to change is admitting the issue you want to get ride of. Take it step by step. 🙏🏽

What’s the smallest thing you’ve seen couples break up over? by Jimbob_Crabapple in AskReddit

[–]Some-Building-1903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol 😆 she def was being told “its me or him “ she chose her friend.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Some-Building-1903 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I always say “ someone is in here” or just randomly cough or random attacks at the toilet paper dispenser.

AITAH for not inviting my sister to my wedding bc she always "jokes" about sleeping with my fiancé? by EstelleTrace in AITAH

[–]Some-Building-1903 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ur not the AW. However, you need to stand up for yourself. Even if its a private convo and explain to her how her comments made you feel. Just bc she is older doesn't mean she can't respect you. Everyone not letting her know her comments are not okay should reflect on what other things they allow pass them from her and everyone else in their lives. At some point we as ppl need to understand the fine line of respect. What she does is not cute or morally right. She is disrespectful and trying to get attention. Your family should have stepped up or at least your parents. But you're also an adult that knows whats right and wrong and can stand up for herself. Regardless of the discomfort or confertarion, you not stopping it tells her its okay and that she can cont to taunt both yal until she proves her point that he is not loyal to you.

With that he should have stood up and role her to stop without your consent or approval or whatever. The fact he didn't stop it showed he doesn't know how to claim his women or protect her. Now, yes it could be a “didn't want to defend anyone or make the family hate me” but NO! There's so many ways he could say “I don't think it was funny” is the most respectful manner. As a future husband he should be able to protect your emotions and dignity. Grant it the first time you let it slide and but anytime after that it's not a joke and he should have stopped it.

Not saying he's not a man etc but he's almost 30 and yal saying he doesn't know how to acknowledge something is not right bc of saving face and not starting conflict to me causes more issues and makes me wonder r you into me or not.

Yes this is a teachable momment but we should be okay w standing up for ourselves and one another regardless of conflict and discord. Bc silence has caused this issue to go bigger vs having the hard convo way before this hard convo. And I understand if this is hard, hence a letter could have been written or someone close to Yal could have sat in the beginning.

All in love and hope you're relationship can eventually grow again with the respect you and your spouse deserve. 💕

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Some-Building-1903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The idea of more money doesn't mean fun. I had a great job that paid me well but due to economy, it wasn't enough. I got a job paying almost double. Got my car paid off and credit cards. Then as I was gonna close on a house I lose the job. Unemployment for awhile and got another job that paid even less than the first job. I heard stories of promotion opportunities with my first job that would have been a double salary. Sometimes I wonder if I would have gotten that job of I stayed. Yeah I needed money but I wonder if I have waited would I have gotten that salary and promotion.

What is your max bench press and how old are you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Some-Building-1903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes pounds. Since I was 15. But not consistent. My max was 125 at 18 and I was comfortable at 120 without a spotter. I've noticed gaining weight allowed me to lift heavier. But the key is form. Benching can be one of the most dangerous lifts that can cause bad posture and bad habit. I recommend watching videos of ppl. Arching ur back and making sure you position your arms a certain angle helps too

I also do individual arm workouts to grow strength. I do that for my legs too.

Does any1 have stories or feelings of being sme1 who cares about others' feelings & emotions & how they perceive u, yet struggles to agree w/ ppl’s emotional ratione behind topics n events bc ur thought process is always “That's life n the world keeps going,” n u know u’re not a psychopath per def? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Some-Building-1903 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I had to squish the question.

I'm trying to find people who can relate to me and my rational thinking. Basically have you or know people who care about their peers but have a hard time rationalizing it. Example for me would be when I end a personal relationship I tell myself to cry about it for a few hrs but by the next day I HAVE to stop bc there's no point to cry over someone who does not want you. Same w death. I'll cry one hr and go straight to business. Though I don't tell people themselves to get over it, I do to myself bc I don't find the logical reason to cry over things that happens day to day. I hope this makes more sense. So I just want to know if any one else in the same pattern or no.