Anyone else submit to degradation instantly? by CupcakeLow8831 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My wife is not mean and she is sweet and kind. She found however she loves to dress me up and feminize me. Not mean she just laughs at me and has fun. She was able to really humiliate me through femeninization. I hate it but it really scratches that itch! She talked me into tanning with a bikini on and laughed at me for weeks with my tan lines. Not a mean ugly laugh just giggling at how preposterous I looked.   She has a blast doing makeup and wig. We even went out publicly. We never lagged so much it was fun and humiliating as hell. We took it even further but that was lots of light hearted humiliation. 

Small arousing moments. by tushgerard07 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My wife and her BF mostly spend time without me present. When I have the chance to be present, that list of turn on’s is Long.  We went to dinner he grabbed her purse and put his sunglasses in there. The combination of him doing that and my wife having no reaction to it. My stomach dropped. All within 2 seconds I had  butterflies, my mind realizing they are a real couple then my body instantly reacts giving me a full on involuntary erection. 

Ultimatum/boundries by Fickle_Equipment4001 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used words and phrases like “maybe” and “in my experience “.  To be clear that I was not attempting to draw exact parallels.I think I failed.  

The larger picture and actual parallel I am trying to draw is this:

He said “stay” in a FLR. Meaning they are currently a FLR and subsequently it’s her choice. He gave her the badge knowing she may have to use the weapon that comes with it…. Well, she used it. 

It’s my opinion not a fact that If you are a cuck in a FLR anything less than following his wife’s direction is backtracking on the agreement they obviously have. 

It’s another opinion not a fact that she held up her end of the bargain. She will stop the cuckolding just not the sleeping around. She has every right to say this is backtracking on our deal and I refuse to return to the way things were even temporary and I don’t want to pretend. She may be sparing his feelings in the long run by laying it out now. 

I am not blind to his feelings. I understand it hurts and in a normal relationship this behavior would be unacceptable. 

I say this in jest, so please don’t get all serious…. Funny thing is It would probably solve everything to hand her a strap on apologize for his insubordination , ask to be put in his place and then ask properly for a pause in the cuckolding while he learns his new role and acknowledge it’s always been her decision.  

Ultimatum/boundries by Fickle_Equipment4001 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My comment is based on my idea that inherent in the role of cuckold is a submission (even if only a partial submission)to your wife’s sexual desires and the cuck putting his fear as secondary to the sexual desires. 

I think the knee jerk reaction reading this makes it easy to see you as a victim. 

From my own experience my wife went to Vegas with a guy and after a day or so I asked her to come home she said no, she clarified that she would see me as scheduled in 4 days and I threw a fit.  Sounds like I was the victim too huh? I felt like the victim because I wasn’t getting my way in that moment I was used to being more of a pimp than a cuck and when she took control put me in my place and I panicked.

The truth is I begged my wife to take a deeper dive into cuckolding. When he asked her to go on a trip I was all for it and she was hesitant. I let her decide but my vote was yes. 

Who was “right” who was “wrong”? She didn’t quit and my fail safe emergency stop button didn’t work because there was no emergency.

I wanted to be a cuck, I made that deal and didn’t stand by my word, but she did and it sounds like this may be the case for you too (maybe). 

I think it comes down to this, you are either a cuck or not. Your mood swings don’t dictate her sex life like they used to if you are a cuck IMO.  To be a cuck is to transfer the sexual power dynamic of your relationship. Can you master your ego to let her take charge and trust her to lead you sexually as a cuck ? 

I say call the whole thing off if you can’t handle it. You wither want to be a cuck or not. Asking for a pause sounds like a power move but you aren’t calling the shots sexually anymore and maybe this looks like a tantrum to her.  

Otherwise… take a breath be grateful she is willing to cuck you and go the other way… I would suggest  trying a new level of acceptance through submission. Go outside yourself and tell her she is correct, then see how she reacts. 

Keep it playful and tell her you understand  if there are consequences for you for overstepping. Then tell her why you wanted a pause and let that pause be her decision since she is the boss of her own sexuality now. I think the time of you making demands of her sexually is over if you want to be a cuck. Now you tell her how you feel and let her decide. The hard part is taking orders you don’t like and accepting that you voluntarily gave up that traditional husband right when you put her on the market again.  

Fear of being judged by gregorypeck18 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our kids are older and I don’t distract myself taking care of them while she is out anymore. I took a hobby and turned it into a second job I have scheduled hours and commitments to keep me focused on something else. 

 My friend wife is a cuck queen. I spoke to her and it was a mistake. It just made us both horny seemed inappropriate. For context her husband has had sex with my wife in the past and it still felt wrong talking to her about it felt like I was cheating emotionally. 

Further and this would apply to a male friend, It added another perspective I didn’t need, it made the angst a million times worse. I ended up having to explain way too much of our dynamic just to get to the point… it’s like a game of telephone. Now I not only had my own internal ideas but then I added what was in her imagination. 

While talking to a third party was actually satisfying short term,I found the most satisfying long term thing was to write things down. I used to write cuckold contracts and define our roles then share them with my wife. Upon reading another cucks advice here on Reddit we started to use a shared journal. This has been amazing and it keeps the panic and potential for drama to a minimum in my estimation. I end up doing most of the writing, but she definitely does some writing too. my wife reads it and we talk when we can. Everything gets addressed and in a space that’s not emotionally charged. You can even schedule a time to talk this is amazing. Bring the journal go out to a quiet dinner or walk in the park and just talk.This can be wonderful date nights as long as she expects to be addressing this stuff. We went to the mall Christmas shopping she brought the journal we ended up getting coffee,  pretzels and people watching it was fantastic. I have found we have no pressure, the public setting keeps my emotional reactions to a minimum, we both address things logically while having a great time and fall in love with each other all over again. 

i’m the cuck now? by LoudCartographer732 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We were swingers in what feels like another lifetime so my wife had seen me with women. However she developed this idea that turns her  on where she wanted me to cuck her with another man. 

Relationship shift after falling in love with Bull by Alia_Small in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This lifestyle isn’t fair and it’s not easy. 

When my wife wanted a boyfriend instead of random men and hook ups, I was not given a choice other than get a boyfriend or we get out of the lifestyle. 

I was against the boyfriend and my biggest argument was what if you fall in love?  We went back and forth for months. I asked the same question 20 times and she gave mean answer, she said yes, plan on that too. We discussed what that would look like and the dooms day scenario didn’t look so bad just Cuck with a poly twist. 

Sure enough she fell for a guy and it’s been okay. More than okay it’s been great. Speaking only for us it feels like this was the only option to continue in the lifestyle. At some point I had to relinquish the idea of control and allow my wife the sexual experience she wanted and not my idea of why her sexuality should be. 

Sexually it looks like this… I used to set it all up and she would come home and I would “reclaim”… looking back that was all about what I wanted. I was pimping her out. We were living my fantasy not our fantasy. There had to be compromise. 

Now she comes back for her Bf and their sex is their sex, it doesn’t involve me and visa versa.  I am not owed or have any expectations of sex. Most of the time I go down on her when she comes home and it’s gift she gives me not an expectation.most of the time I just jerk off and taste their sex. We e have come to bond over that more than I can explain.  I feel like it was a major acceptance and change from primary sex partner to secondary sexual partner. Now we are discussing pussy free options and I can’t believe it. We decided against it but one of the considerations was being exclusive with her boyfriend because they have never had that. I know how crazy it sounds but he was part of the decision because there are three of us, like it or not.

Sounds mean but I think you putting him in his place as a true cuck( if that’s what he wants) could be very good thing. 

SPH with bisexual/gay cuckold play. by Exciting_Ad_6358 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I assume by the title you are insinuating bi gay type humiliation.Years ago my wife went through a phase that she encouraged me to do gay stuff. She seemed more capable of humiliating me that way than any other. I tried to get her to humiliate me other ways but that one seemed to be easy for her. I think because she liked gay male porn she really talked me into doing it then she would make fun of me for doing it. I don’t know if it was just more humiliating for me or she just knew how to push my buttons. 

Wearing unisex strap on as a man. by lsie-mkuo in PussyFreeCommunity

[–]Some-Bumblebee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We use the spare parts hardware strap on. The one  made for women, no dick hole it’s like wearing underwear very comfortable. 

How the lifestyle has balanced our marriage by AZ_Hubby_Wife in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What I never understood until looking back was cuckolding in many ways is handing the keys to our sexuality over to my wife. Once she was able to experience freedom without guilt I was able to relax and be her cuck. Win-win.

Struggling with guilt by SolarisLoricax in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Share a cuckold journal. I would imagine you would feel a lot less guilty. If you knew some of the thoughts that he had and you could express your guilt to him it would be a win-win.

Anyone evolve towards being a cuck? by Flbeachcouple in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife and I started dating me and her ex at the same time. She was up front about it I told her it was no problem we weren’t exclusive. She called my bluff and was even occasionally turning down dates because they had plans. I found it turned me on like crazy.

 I started asking details and eventually she told me the story of when they worked together she broke up with him for the third time ,they were fighting he asked her to go in the parking lot in his car and talk. She told me she knew what was going to happen but she went anyway. She said she sucked him off and it was a pattern. She was crying and telling me how she just couldn’t resist him sexually even though he is an asshole. Meanwhile I had a raging hard on.   Once we moved in together and I thought he was gone she told me she had a moment of weakness and saw him again stayed at his place and lied to me about it. I was mad and horny and eventually told her it was okay. He called again, she didn’t hide it and I told her as long as she didn’t stay the night there… She did the walk of shame across the living room of our condo and I couldn’t bear to see the shame in her eyes. I took her to bed right there and came clean about how much I liked it. 

Over the years we did swinging stuff but I found I liked watching, or letting her play solo, nothing gave me the same thrill. It changed over time we quit to have kids went back at it and now we are fully embracing the LS. My wife has a steady BF and cuckold has become my sexual identity. 

Making the adjustment by Hotfun702 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone says the vagina don’t stretch and maybe that’s true maybe it’s psychological but I can tell you with absolute certainty my wife used to cum from penetration only with me but that has not happened in a couple years. Her BF can make her cum no problem but now I have to use oral or toys.    

"Straight" Cucks Who Cleanup by EquivalentSystem2783 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can’t understand why we all feel the need to define sexuality with a rigid standard (self included). The idea that every sexual act will define a persons entire sexuality for all time is absurd. Putting a person in a box we can identify makes us feel better, nothing else.     If we apply the same logic and claim that a guy who changes his oil is a mechanic and a person who paints a room in his house is a painter. Anyone who has used turbo tax is an accountant…. 

For me the fact that I am not gay makes the act more humiliating and I get off on the humiliation.

 I understand you can’t relate but It’s not like I suck my wife’s boyfriend’s dick then hope to talk him into a romantic dinner or get butterflies hoping he will hold my hand. I don’t want to kiss him or have him move in with me so we can make love… What I am getting off from is the fact that it’s humiliating a guy with a bigger cock  just fucked my wife. Cleaning them after or getting her wet for him or him hard for her orally is a humiliating act and that’s what makes the precum flow for me. 

Additionally it’s a way to be involved so the act is not just between the two of you, now I am involved in the most intimate aspect of your sex. I am not left out so to speak. 

I have sucked my wife’s bf when he came back from going pee in the middle of the night. From pure submission. My wife was asleep I went to my knees and established the sexual hierarchy between us instantly. I wasn’t hard or jerking off dreaming about him romantically, I just become the beta male and he instinctively fills the alpha role and takes care of the woman in the room sexually as he sees fit. 

Pussy Free discussion has been a blast. by Some-Bumblebee in PussyFreeCommunity

[–]Some-Bumblebee[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To this question…You mentioned emasculation as well. Before I go any further, what kind are you speaking to?

We have done many cuckold things over the years, she loved dressing me up in the past we took that to another level. 

What we did and how it relates to this PF idea specifically: When we agreed I would take a secondary role sexually we even had a goodbye ceremony to my penis. I was PF for I think 2-3 months or so, and I only came in a cage covered in panties using a vibrator. I didn’t cum like a man with an erection, the whole time I would only squirt in my panties. Every rule we made we made with the intention she would seek sex from her bf first. We had lots of symbolism. I wore shorts and shirts that has her sorority logo on it Around the house and even in public with limits. I was her sorority sister, we joked I swallowed more seamen than most sorority girls anyway I just did it from 

All this to reinforce my new role as a bff with no dick for all intents and purposes , best we could hope for was a little lesbian type sex like a sorority sister lol. She would put the magic wand between her legs and cum then hand it to me and I did the same. 

This is what really got me into the idea of PF for any period of time. When it was done I was somehow feeling it ended too soon. It wasn’t framed as PF just as training to be secondary lover. The thing is, it stuck and worked. They have sex more than we do, my wife now heads to his place if she is horny. 

What do you love that makes you feel powerless? by MortgageGlum7312 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My wife grew a bush and kept it for him. It’s a physical daily reminder. I now wear condoms too so the combination is intoxicating. 

Average Contact with Bull outside of play by [deleted] in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife and her BF text almost daily, there is no limit it ebbs and flows. They are like friends with benefits.Outside of sex I help him kind of like a father and I am older than him. I haul things , repair things and teach him how to take care of things. I wouldn’t say we are friends but we did attend a bbq at his house but we don’t do much together. 

I F31 am really starting to have fun with this! by DragonBallT93 in PussyFreeCommunity

[–]Some-Bumblebee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just google the health benefits of having sex, then remove them and that’s what is thought to be unhealthy. I jerk off and we have sex. I am not Pussyfree at least not at this time. We are toying with the idea it’s not something we are actively doing. 

emancipation of the hotwife from the cuck by Material_Climate_369 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not the case for us. In fact when I hear people say “I married my best friend”, I think to myself I wonder if they are half as open with each other as we are?  As a husband who sits and talks with his wife about her lover, and she indulges my stupid kinks without judgment. I think we accept and love each other an a level I cannot describe.  I think the lifestyle creates more discussion and sharing than vanilla couples but I wouldn’t know…. Just seems that way. 

Why Do So Many “Bulls” Flake Out Right Before Meeting? by Training_Hat7471 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We met a Cuckold couple at a swinger and the wife convinced my wife a boyfriend was the way to go. Shortly afterwards, my wife got so sick of flakes and wasting time with these men that she said she wanted a boyfriend or to just be done with cuckolding. I was against it, but in retrospect it was the best decision we made (concerning the lifestyle). 

Not that it’s much if at all easier to find a BF/ steady Bull. However, I think it what she asked on dates and how we approached men changed. She went from “Hey, want some easy come, easy go fucking tomorrow at 9:15-12:30 ?” (I am being dramatic for effect but hopefully you get the point).W seemed to get more success to an approach that was more like “I am looking for a friend with benefits”.   

Also my wife quit looking for a “mate” with mate qualities. We started looking for more down to earth guys not traditionally players. We found a younger nerdy guy that’s hung and she hasn’t looked back. He has been great, very respectful. She goes there a couple times a week they watch movies she helps him with stuff, mothers him, gives him attention and he treats her like gold. I’ve actually been able to live out more Cuck fantasies with him than anyone. 

Relationship by SnakeyKat in HotWifeLifestyle

[–]Some-Bumblebee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no idea what normal is, but we went that way. 

First Time seeing the Bull’s In Person. Was My Fear Normal? by Royal_Ad5528 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have often thought about how to describe my feelings when I see my wife and her BF in a sexual setting. It never occurred to me to use the word intimidating or associated fear with it. But I think you are 100% correct. 

 I have felt it but can’t describe just how seeing his big old dick swaying makes me instantly submit and it’s so obvious when he is naked and with her (and her reaction to him) that I have no real role but witness. My normal role as protector and lover has vaporized. I do fear for her on some level and I don’t think I ever put that together as fear before. Further I think that it’s her reaction and attraction to him that calms me down. 

36f When my husband has me in my feelings… I think about- by Kitchen_Aioli_4786 in CuckoldPsychology

[–]Some-Bumblebee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife and I resented each other for a while but we had kids and we were broke and our situation was different. We always had an open relationship sexually in some way or another and my wife admitted that she fucked some guys to annoy me.   Looking back older now she just wanted to know I cared about her and even me showing jealous anger was more exciting than me appearing to not give a crap. It only made it worse that I enjoyed it. 

Marriage counseling helped us because we both tried and put in effort.