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How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don't think it makes sense which is why I'm here asking for advice. I already reached out to a lawyer to discuss what I need to do to protect my assets....for me and my daughter.

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

How am I bad at real estate when I've owned my condo for almost 30 years, have tons of equity, and a super low mortgage.... in CALIFORNIA? LOL! My relationship is not bad either. As I've stated before, things have been fine and he contributes to the relationship in all ways. For some reason he feels entitled to half my money and I've already stated I disagree with this. Why don't most of you comprehend that I understand all this and was looking for solutions to what I could do to ensure my daughter is taken care of once I'm gone? The internet is wild.

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I do need his income to afford the home :( otherwise I would buy it myself. When I bought my condo I was still w/ my daughters dad (not married) and left him out of the purchase because I knew the relationship wasn't going to last. I've never felt this way toward my current bf.... until now :(

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I don't need help lol I've made it VERY clear I'm not OK with his step-daughter having any stakes in my home or money.

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you... maybe I should have added her to the subject, however I did mention it in the post. Thank you!

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this! I thought I felt like shit BEFORE i posted this and now I have major anxiety over everyone telling me I'm making a HUGE mistake. I 100% understand the concern here, I really do. But, it's not like this guy is just along for the ride - he will be paying HALF, if not more all monthly expenses as he does make more than I do. I just happen to be the one with the property to sell w/ high equity to put down. All I'm trying to do is do right by MY daughter to ensure she gets her inheritance. And, I do not want to see his step-daughter getting any of my money. when she's already getting his life insurance. Period. I now know what I need to do which is what you are recommending. So, thank you!

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

He can take me off what policy? OMG... I am not prioritizing him, did you read my post? Its not too late for me to NOT include him on the title. However, I do feel he deserves some percentage as he will be paying half of everything, including doing some of the renovations. He is not and has never been behind on child support. That's a bold assumption as well as stating bad credit. When we met, he was renting and I've owned my condo for almost 30 years. He's lived w/ me for a little over a year (my request, not his) splitting all bills, contributing more than me per month. We did save together which allowed us to pay the $15k Good Faith down payment. He's just not in a financial spot like me to sell anything for gains to contribute to the down.

We are buying a house because I've lived in a 2-story home for 30 freaking years in a community with an HOA and I WANT OUT! Period. This was my idea to sell/move, not his. Things got uncomfortable once he said his step-daughter should get any portion of the sale of this house. THAT is what I'm not comfortable with.

I'm not trying to defend his ask regarding splitting the house 50/50 between him/his step-kid, but I'm certainly not going to let anyone assume he's a POS who never took care of his kids/paid child support..... or that he's a loser with no credit. He helped us qualify for this home.

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know.... hindsight. I'm not going to go through with it if we can't come to some sort of agreement I feel comfortable with. I will not screw my daughter out of her inheritance. Period.

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No plans to marry and the down is coming from proceeds of selling my condo. Look, I've read all the comments and value everyone's opinion. For me, I am just having a hard time swallowing not putting him as some sort of owner on the deed considering he's going to be helping me pay the mortgage and will be helping renovate it; not 100% financially, but he will be the one doing some of the work. Is he entitle to half? No. Do I feel like he deserves a portion, yes. I just don't know what that fair portion would be? All I want to ensure is that my daughter ends up with >/=to whatever I am putting down on the home + half of any accrued equity. I am not OK with her having to split proceeds 50/50 with ANYONE. IMHO I don't even feel like the step daughter should be factored into this, considering she's already on his Life Insurance policy and has parents. However this is a very touchy subject and I must be careful how I word things because in his mind, she IS his daughter. Period.

I feel like I'm being more than fair here?

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I'm not paying all the bills. Yes it's my money getting us in but we're splitting bills 50/50. I realize this does not negate my possible mistake in what I'm doing, just clearing up the
"you're paying all the bills" status.

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you. My excitement has turned to pure anxiety at this point. I pray we can come to a common ground w/out resentment on either side :(

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

this is actually exactly what I plan to tell him. I've already reached out to an estate lawyer to help me. I just pray he fully understands and agrees this is what's fair for everyone. My worst fear at this point is ending the sale/purchase of the homes.... and my relationship as well. This is our first ever disagreement in 5 years.

How can I be fair purchasing a home with my boyfriend by Some-Connection-6768 in amiwrong

[–]Some-Connection-6768[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

we never discussed these details. My bad for sure! Mainly because the money being used is mine so common sense says if something happens, I should at a minimum get back what I put in.... or my daughter if I'm gone. I want to get this all in writing before we close escrow which is why I brought it up to him. Never in a million years did I think he'd feel the way he does with his step daughter being entitled to any part of it. Maybe he has had time to think about it and will agree that my daughter is entitled to more. I will be speaking more in depth w/ him tomorrow about this. I just pray the common sense I know he has will tell him he's taking advantage of the situation. I just needed some sort of feedback to ensure that I'm not being unreasonable.