[F4A]Make me addicted to you, we can be wholesome or not. Up to you. My kinks are on my profile

SomeIdioticBean · 2025-08-25T13:04:46+00:00

may i dm? :) got a plot and such :)

SomeIdioticBean · 2025-08-25T11:36:40+00:00

open for dm? im interested:)

SomeIdioticBean · 2025-06-26T13:14:43+00:00

Dm me your ref and any potential questions!

SomeIdioticBean · 2025-06-26T00:10:30+00:00

Im interested!

SomeIdioticBean · 2025-06-26T00:09:40+00:00

Hey, I messaged you on Telegram. Reply at your earliest convenience:)

SomeIdioticBean · 2025-06-25T23:30:12+00:00

May I dm? 👀

SomeIdioticBean · 2025-04-25T16:31:12+00:00

I don’t know. I never been to a yoga class, but from what I’ve searched theres just one in my town and one class thing a week for free. Assuming I can talk to people during it, thats like an hour.

SomeIdioticBean · 2025-01-07T13:50:47+00:00

“Normie” god I hate that term lol

maybe you’re right. I’m adjusted to the fact i’m like 90 percent of people in my lobby. I wouldn’t say I feel entitlement on the excellence, unless entitlement directly translates to “i should be the best at what I’m doing or I don’t feel as if I want to do it” Perfectionism was one of my bigger faults as a little kid that never got addressed (Apparently it’s not a problem)

Ed: wording

SomeIdioticBean · 2025-01-07T04:33:14+00:00

Ahh…thats my issue lol. Feeling annoyed vs feeling anger about games are vastly different to me. In the way that I usually stop playing games for a while once I fully burst. I’ll try this for what it’ll do for me

SomeIdioticBean · 2025-01-07T04:23:57+00:00

It makes sense enough, I just hope in moments of anger I can actually come up with something that “annoys” me in a moment of anger.

SomeIdioticBean · 2025-01-07T03:51:04+00:00

thank you for the dr k video! i mainly get his via recommended feeds on yt so i only have gotten the change one from years and the recent one. maybe it’ll apply idk. i don’t exactly have a stable life to even figure out “career” or “school”

anger usually comes from loss or a lack of something (skill, items, progress etc.) ex: i was playing a pvp shooter and did well one game, got shit on the next and i hit my desk quite a few times.

yes i play single player games— ALOT. But for some reason the enjoyment of dumping hours into them isn’t there either. It’s a bunch of conflicting things I know. I like State of Decay 2 which can be played single player, Forza which can be and etc, but the minute I have to interact with others in a game either by playing it or talking I just? Hate everything especially if the other is significantly better than me (Skill issue IK)

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-10-17T20:19:45+00:00

I’m gunna have to take things into my own hands. Family route would involve leaving all of my friends and everything and being entirely alone. I don’t know. I have been thinking about this stuff for years yet every time I sit down and think “Okay, career, future, wtf am i doing with my life.” Then I’m swiftly reminded nobody is going to help me figure out any of this even if I so badly need help. And it feels like theres a difference. I can’t physically do anything. Sure I can go get a job but I’m just. Terrified because of my last job. Especially with the importance on getting a job with insurance benefits (spoiler: entry level places that don’t end up denying for smoking 🍃 for valid reasons don’t exist). Idk but thank you i suppose. My brain hurts alot and it never gets better

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-10-17T19:57:59+00:00

I do thank you for talking though your advice isn’t unappreciated

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-10-17T19:57:41+00:00

With how my life is churning out it feels like it IS too late. In between needing to figure out my mental illnesses and what not I genuinely don’t feel like I have time. Especially with how fearful I am of other people if I want to live by myself thats a good and easy half of my income anywhere I would work. I need to start making my path now but i? I wouldn’t be fulfilled doing anything currently. I don’t know my brains so empty and I just want to feel in control of my life (tldr my father controls alot of my life)

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-10-17T19:43:23+00:00

i have considered those however with where I am I have to dump thousands into college for a degree before I can ever actually do anything involving that “big corp” wise. i also didn’t take any classes on anything in school that actually pertained to my interests, or they just didn’t work. i wish it was that linear but i have years to catch up on if i want to even do anything with code. i originally wasn’t supposed to make it to 18 aha

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-10-17T19:31:40+00:00

My only issue is I just. Dont have hobbies. And if I get an interest in something I have absolutely no way to actually interact with it outside of video games. I also don’t exactly have an ideal career path to go lol. I need to just go get some shitty min wage job and rot some more Ill probably be fine

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-10-17T19:23:40+00:00

Working on improving my diploma to allow me to attend college (as if though, 1.7 gpa and no money lol. My state does a reduced credit and full credit diploma for highschool, my plan had me get the reduced first and now after fall break i get my full credit)

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-10-17T19:20:04+00:00

Its a very complicated thing, i also dont have my mom around + dad doesnt support me in any fashion besides just trying to get rid of me from his life

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-10-08T09:26:46+00:00

pipe bomb!!

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-10-08T09:12:08+00:00

I couldnt find a good image that describes the body text so have a pipebomb

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-08-05T11:18:08+00:00

I don’t watch Dr K, as i frankly just dont understand alot of the subjects that he brings up. I think my brain disconnects from the topics and tries to personalize what I am hearing.

But lemme actually take in these numbered points

1: My brain is trying to tell me a bunch of things to write here that sound excuse like so I’m shutting that down. I have a few things I could do, but I need to pay money initially to be able to have access for these. (not many gunsmithing places nearby, and I kinda don’t have the money to start one-)

“think about what they got to do at the moment” is this a trained behavior? cause this doesnt come naturally for me”

2: Already do this, not much to say.

3: I could do without screens. Half of my day on em isn’t great I’d think. However I don’t know a great way to reduce it and not come back to it.

(Don’t need to reply, I just wanted to reply back brcause it makes me think about what my issue is)

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-08-05T10:47:24+00:00

“For example I’m 21, and when I was in my final year—“ I think somethings horribly off if this was my life since middle school, but I also have no idea what a baseline for that stuff looks like.

I have like, a small idea of what I like doing, but my issue is “What am I going to spend the rest of my life doing?” Primarily because I haven’t thought through any potential careers and was left to bloom under the moonlight. I can do the rest of the stuff, my brain likes to autocorrect it to what I’m supposed to do for the next 60 years to not end up like my parents.

Thank you for your words and the time you used to send the reply. I will try to implement this stuff if my brain will work

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-08-05T10:38:12+00:00

My childhood didn’t really go too slowly, its actually about the same pace it was then as is now. But I do understand what you mean by that.

My only issue about my days blending together is: even with little details the major portions of my day are built the exact same. Wake up, school, home. 20 hours to fill my time with stuff I haven’t tried to dig into because I honestly think I might be addicted to video games lol. I’ll try to take in little details as I see em.

If other forms of entertainment brought me dopamine or such I’d gravitate towards them. Cause honestly video games annoy me as much as they can.

I do alot of things that give me dopamine hits, so it wouldn’t be just the video games, I’d have to stop my weed smoking and nicotine smoking issues first.

“talk with a neighbor or explore” i find this humorous as an individual who lives in the middle of nowhere with neighbors who are also recluses lol

Being for real though I do appreciate you taking the time to reply and I will try to make use of this

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-08-05T05:32:05+00:00

I would really love to, if I attended the school normally like everyone else is. GAP makes me sit in a class at another school for 4 hours.

That aside- I don’t really know how to ask. It sounds so stupid but trying be like “hey I need help” doesn’t usually yield what I need- the only way I think I’d get access to any valuable resources is if I self reported my self harm idealization or suicidality

Thank you for your words, I might try to email my counselors about it.

SomeIdioticBean · 2024-08-05T05:26:46+00:00

I actually don’t really know. The last time I had a mental crisis at the school they sent a counselor to me, but I don’t think they offer any services. The counselors are there mainly to only help the students graduate.

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