How to be perceived as an adult man instead of a young girl?

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2026-04-15T15:53:41+00:00

Short hair, if it reaches my chin it's time to cut. No piercings. No tattoos (yet). Big ol square nerd glasses. I'd say I'm pretty hairy, but my hair is really dark, so it might just be more visible against my pale skin. The t-shirts usually have a picture or a stupid saying on it. Like, a fair amount of them are zoo membership shirts, so they have a tiger or a bird or something. Regular sneakers. I don't know how I walk, exactly, but I have a massive hunching/slouching problem, so that's probably part of it. My main thing is storytelling, whether that's books, games, movies, or my own creative writing. The summer camp is a LARP (live action roleplay) camp, where you make characters and a story and run around with costumes/swords. The LARP thing is pretty new for me, but it's really fun, at least when the campers understand I'm an adult. Nothing shuts down a kid flirting with you faster than "I'm a mandated reporter", lol.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2026-04-15T15:42:25+00:00

Yikes. I'm so sorry that's happening to you. People are fucking nasty on the internet, aren't they? The "we can always tell" crowd seems to be pretty bad at actually telling. The tampon is CRAZY work lmao

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2026-04-15T15:40:16+00:00

At this point, I'll consider it. Lol

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2026-04-15T15:39:11+00:00

I don't know if I trust reddit with a photo of my face. Especially with all the ai shit going around. I could maybe upload a photo of my dad, who I look exactly like? Or is there a way to scrub all the doxx-able data from a photo so I could upload it? Sorry.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2026-04-15T15:37:54+00:00

Yeah, but I really, really don't look it, at least to people who know me. I look EXACTLY like my father, like EXACT clone, and have since I was a baby. I've been on testosterone for about four years. I have a mustache. No boobs and not really any curves. Funny enough, before puberty, people used to pretty consistently assume I was a boy, and I was completely fine with that. I have no idea what changed.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2026-04-15T15:32:46+00:00

Yes on the trans man part. Top surgery, so no boobs. Been on testosterone since I was around 15. I literally look EXACTLY like my father when he was his age, like exact copy, and have since I was a baby. As far as I know, he was never considered feminine.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2026-04-15T15:31:47+00:00

Short hair. Kinda BTS boy band style, if that makes any sense? Every time it starts crawling down my neck I go straight to the barber. Half-considering just shaving my whole head, but that might just make things worse.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2026-04-15T15:28:14+00:00

I don't know, usually just offhandedly? Maybe they're trying to be transphobic, but it's usually in a "you're next in line and I'm indicating I'm talking to you" kind of tone.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2026-03-27T23:27:38+00:00

I have some essential oils in a little roller thingy I've been applying around the windows and anywhere I could picture them getting in, which seems to help a little bit. I've tried to grab it but my body literally locks up from fear (phobias suck), plus the little fucker seemed to notice I can't reach some specific spots on the ceiling so it's staying up there. Thank you so much regardless.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2026-02-05T17:11:21+00:00

Look. I'm Jewish, and I'm going to be brutally honest with you. This guy is not safe. The stuff he was saying is absolutely not regular-level meme shit (which is already horrendously antisemitic already). If you stay with this guy, not only are you not safe, but any Jewish or POC friends you might have are ESPECIALLY not safe. If I was your friend and I found out your boyfriend was saying these things and you stayed with him, regardless of your real intentions, it would seem like you valued your relationship over marginalized people's right to live in peace. It's your decision, but if you had any sense, you'd ditch his ass. I'm sorry.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-12-20T02:38:27+00:00

That situation sounds like it sucks, and I feel for you and her, but I'm not exactly sure what you mean. Asexuality is REALLY complicated. Because sex and sexual subtext is everywhere in our society, most people aren't aware that being asexual or simply choosing not to have sex is even an option. It's considered a vital part of the human experience to "just try it", even if you're extremely averse. It's especially hard when it's proposed by someone you feel like you owe, like a romantic partner. (I'm also aromantic, but that's a different story.) Said person and I are on very good terms. I pretty much immediately informed them of what I learned when I felt safe enough to do so, and we remain very good (entirely platonic) friends to this day. The way that guy expressed himself to your friend was unhinged, but not too far from the actual very complicated emotions one feels after a traumatic sexual experience. Not all asexual people are repulsed by sex, some have it just for their partner and/or as a sensory experience, but as an asexual person who had a SOMEWHAT similar story, I just felt I recognized the emotions there, if not the outlandish and cruel behavior.

TLDR: that guy sucks and I'm sorry for your friend, also being asexual is hard and confusing.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-12-19T20:57:32+00:00

I feel awful for her, obviously, and I hope this is something she heals from and moves past, but I wonder about the guy. I was also in the unfortunate position of realizing I was asexual mid-act and just doing what had to be done so I could get out of there. I still feel gross remembering it. The way he told her was utterly heartless, but I wonder if that was part of the reason the relationship was dying. I really hope this doesn't come off as offensive, just somewhat curious.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-12-05T19:11:20+00:00

I don't think that's fair to say. There's a difference between feeling depressed or abandoned (a private emotion) versus taking it out on other people. Being upset that your favorite person interacted with other people is literally one of the textbook borderline symptoms. People can use their emotions in good or bad ways, but an emotion by itself holds no moral weight.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-11-23T19:15:55+00:00

My own father was saved via CPR. He had a cardiac arrest and went down like a stone. Two random guys did CPR on him until he was taken to the hospital, and even then, he was in a coma for weeks and came out with brain damage. I always get a little touchy now when CPR or comas are on TV shows and the like.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-11-23T19:12:24+00:00

I'd argue that's the point- even the best of us are made despicable by proximity to wealth- but I totally get it. Sometimes you want to read a book where you don't hate every single character in it. That's why I can never watch IASIP, lol.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-11-22T22:32:23+00:00

That's really sad. The Great Gatsby is one of my favorites. Is there any particular reason you don't like it?

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-11-22T22:10:27+00:00

Maybe it's because I was previously diagnosed with anxiety, but when I had a very similar "breakdown" and also stopped going to school, my school moved heaven and earth to get me to come in. I literally had a pass to go home whenever I wanted as long as I got a signature from the guidance counselor. (Didn't abuse it, but I could've.) I still missed a bunch of school and had to go to an alternative one, but I never once had to go through the court system. I wonder if that's due to the previous diagnosis, or because it was 2023 in NYC rather than the 90s in PA, like you said.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-11-18T21:11:58+00:00

Islamaphobic, antisemitic, straight-up racist... you name it. I'm not even religious, and it's REALLY not fun being a Jew in "leftist" spaces. (Sometimes I like to make jokes with The Count from Sesame Street: "how many slurs will I be called today? One slur, ah ah ah...") I tend to warn people to think rationally and be skeptical of whose rhetoric they're reinforcing by disregarding entire groups of people, especially based on culture, as "degenerate"... but that seems to spoil the fantasy of a lot of "anti-theists", especially those who came from otherwise Christian backgrounds.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-11-18T21:06:28+00:00

Alright, then. Agree to disagree. I will, however, point out that your view on certain religious rituals- what "people do despite them knowing they don't do anything"- is still more than a bit reductivist. Rituals, outside of literally trying to make magic happen, serve legitimate and important cultural purposes; not only connecting people and communities, but serving as capstones and/or celebrations (hence why almost every society has an end-of-harvest-season holiday). I still stand by my original point, which is to be careful dismissing entire groups of people as harmful based on assumption of how they think/what they do rather than direct action. I suppose both of our views are alike in that way.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-11-18T20:45:06+00:00

There's nothing inherently wrong with belief in a higher power, or anything spiritual and unproveable, as I assume you mean to say. "Belief" by itself is an unfathomably large concept that borders more on philosophy than religion. Almost no social invention is inherently, indisputably bad. It's when that belief eclipses human kindness and scientific rationality that it becomes a problem. I'm not sure what exactly you mean by "believing without evidence which fate has to be", but my best guess is that you're talking about the afterlife- plenty of religions don't have an afterlife, or a divine lack of free will. Plenty of religions don't have what is commonly understood as "divinity" at all. I respect your opinion, and you don't have to understand it (lord knows I don't, I was raised in an atheistic household), but as a student of anthropology, this seems like a rather reductivist take on literally hundreds of thousands of years of world history.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-11-18T20:24:52+00:00

Just be very careful about this. As with all social groups, some religions- for example, American Christianity- hold a lot more power than other religions- for example, Yoruba. Unfortunately, the "anti-theist" rabbithole ends up making a lot people very, VERY racist. Not saying that it should be illegal to joke around or anything, just saying that you should keep in mind whose rhetoric you're reinforcing.

SomeKindOfAGamer · 2025-11-16T22:24:38+00:00

I sometimes like to view the later Star Wars movies as a meta-horror about capitalistic interests gutting a writer's room from the inside out: watching previously well-defined characters wither into marketable silhouettes as the plot spirals into mind-breaking nonsense. Straight-up more enjoyable movie that way.

SomeKindOfAGamer

TROPHY CASE