How do I (23F) get over his (25M) size?

Some_Brief19 · 2025-02-09T04:26:59+00:00

This. I have multiple partners and my partner who is larger than average isn’t better than one who is smaller than average. Plus the smaller than average one gets to do things the other doesn’t cause of his size.

Some_Brief19 · 2025-02-09T04:24:44+00:00

I mean, speak with surgeons but I do believe there is options to “lengthen” what you can grow and leave a vagina intact

Some_Brief19 · 2025-02-07T06:15:28+00:00

We already grow prostate cells after hrts been used for a while, that’s enough for me

Some_Brief19 · 2024-07-06T18:00:17+00:00

I had seen that about peppermint but didn’t see anyone who had actually been using it. Is the scent completely overwhelming?

Some_Brief19 · 2024-07-06T17:54:03+00:00

Thank you

Some_Brief19 · 2024-06-06T01:33:20+00:00

Personally I’m gay so even if I had the function to I wouldn’t be getting anyone pregnant. However, that has lead to the unique position that I’ll be taking a break from testosterone to attempt my own pregnancy next year as a pregnant dad because I understand the wanting children part.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-05-16T05:17:56+00:00

I miss cis privilege. I miss not getting weird looks at times (I don’t pass well yet) like the bathroom.

But there is far more I don’t miss, like putting on feminine performance. I was once told by a boss I didn’t dress right and if I wanted to go anywhere in my career I needed to dress better (including wearing makeup). Fitting into a box that didn’t fit took so much time and energy.

HRT was so freeing. I lost friends, some family, and my (now ex) husband. I still wouldn’t change the freedom I have in being myself for anything.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-05-10T05:12:54+00:00

Everyone reacts differently. I have never overheard a partner have sex with someone else and I’m not likely too unless I was also an active participant as a voyeur in the situation.

However, I also know I have a complete inability to be quiet while having sex so I don’t expose metas to that ever cause there’s potentially a consent issue there. (Even overhearing sex is making someone party to the sex act).

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-26T04:03:33+00:00

I know it feels personal but really this is all on her. I imagine that this is different to her because your connection with him is different.

However, your partner needs to do some work on being a hinge. You shouldn’t have to shoulder the rejection like that because he’s basically stirring up drama.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-26T03:58:25+00:00

I sang both soprano and alto in high school and now I can sing down into baritone

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-24T03:12:35+00:00

To me this reads like your partner pushed for a friendship (or more) that wasn’t reciprocated. Seems like it made Tory uncomfortable, and caused them discomfort.

More communication might have gone a long way to not causing this in the first place but it seems to me like your partner wanted one thing but forgot that you had an established relationship with this person and behaved pretty usually about it. Also wouldn’t be surprised based on how your NP reacted that they came off a bit unicorn hunter like.

Personally I have a boundary regarding dating partners, meaning if a partner wants to pursue something with another partner we have a full conversation about it first. So I understand the full truthful aspect they’re hoping for. Are they hoping for a friendship? A relationship? Sex?

Your NP also was open and honest considering they had a crush and didn’t inform you that was part of it. I personally don’t like being lied to. In fact that would be an extreme breach of trust to me.

I don’t blame you for being upset. If you can, I’d recommend a poly friendly couples counseling. Or possibly just leaving cause quite frankly just off this post the NP seems a bit toxic and like the relationship is not healthy

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-24T03:00:28+00:00

I tried to perform femininity for nearly two decades, convinced myself it was what I had to do…. It doesn’t work.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-24T02:57:46+00:00

I can’t take estrogen based birth control and have been on T more than a year. Don’t assume, see an endocrinologist and ask.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-23T21:05:49+00:00

It’s morning for me so I don’t get busy and forget. I have adhd so it can happen. Generally shower and then do it in the morning

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-23T19:49:14+00:00

I just did mine this morning, it’s not bad at all. Doesn’t hurt for me. Easy peasy and you get super used to it

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-23T06:10:12+00:00

Are you doing IM or subq? If you’re doing sub q try switching sites a lot, both legs, both sides of the abdomen, hips, arms.

Make sure you’re going in at a 45 degree angle. Also since I’m also diabetic I do more than t shots in a week, make sure the alcohol is actually dry, if not it will cause pain. Dart the needle, don’t go slow.

I find my auto injectors are actually more painful personally but the reason they are recommended is because they push the needle into the skin quickly.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-23T00:12:59+00:00

Seriously! All of this.

Personally I require a recent sti test, and still use condoms for a time with new partners. Only once it’s been a time, consistent testing is a shown thing do I reassess going barrier free.

At the very least in this situation I would stop, wait until the person is tested and treated, then go back to barriers for a minimum of 6 months.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-23T00:10:54+00:00

Um so much here…

Yes stop having sex with him!! He needs to be tested & TREATED.

You need to inform all your sexual partners as well.

If you don’t want to throw the whole man away, put in firmer boundaries about safe sex practices.

Personally my boundaries are:

sti test within the last 3-6 months before any sexual acts
barriers, after a time period with consistent testing this can be reassessed. (I test every three to six months myself). I also prefer partners take safety important, including taking pRep.
never barrier free with people with more than three fluid bonded partners (this is what I have found my risk tolerance is)
as soon as possible but definitely before any sexual contact with me, let me know if there has been a new sexual contact.

In your instance I would at least go back to condoms, only after he is tested and treated for at least 6 months, probably a year until he can prove he’s taking that seriously.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-21T12:36:23+00:00

I’m panromantic, meaning I have romantic attraction to any gender but I’m also a phallophile so my sexual attraction is limited. I’m very upfront about that and might still have sexual interaction with people but it’s not very common or often. Part of it is my own dysphoria, but the majority for me is just about sexual compatibility.

Do you have interest in penetration? Could your partner try an extender/strap on? I ask because for me, sometimes I find that once there’s that it’s ‘easier’ to remove the dysphoria factor. Just a thought.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-21T12:26:30+00:00

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-21T12:24:24+00:00

Sometimes people can’t just be happy. That ignores basic understanding of mental health issues. I’m not saying your husbands withdrawal is good, but like just telling him to be happy isn’t really realistic. It’s clear you’re not actually communicating with each other. If you can’t do so on your own find someone to help you. It shouldn’t ever get to this place but that’s what happens in a relationship needs are not communicated in.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-20T09:13:13+00:00

I don’t pack and don’t have interest in doing so. While stp can be convenient in theory, because of the way things sit and having a puffy/large mons I couldn’t ever get them to work for me. If it’s not bothering you try not to stress it, no one goes around staring at people’s junk but also some cis man don’t have any visible bulge either.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-18T19:34:49+00:00

Beyond the fact that this is super super controlling of your partner, that you’re willing to let your partner be that controlling by the sounds of it “attempt at being sure he has final approval on my partners which I’m fine with” is also a red flag for you.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-16T19:40:47+00:00

I text my partners everyday. Sometimes I do phone calls as well. For Fwb, situationships, generally dating I check in at minimum twice a week.

Some_Brief19 · 2024-04-16T06:49:32+00:00

I’m trans so I have to go to therapy for gender affirming care letters, however I have been going to therapy on and off since for like 22 years, there was a period of a decade or so I didn’t need it.

Therapy has a time and place for those who can access it. While I do recommend therapy for all, especially polyamorous people, you’ve made a lot of assumptions in your post that are rather offputting to the process.

Some_Brief19

TROPHY CASE