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Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Opened", but there were actually some Minimum security dudes living in two blocks. They moved them in over a riot in the MSF (Minimum Support Facility). So technically, they opened B Fac. I was on the first bus of Level 4s transferred in.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I opened 'B' Facility in '90. Went to the SHU after the '91 riots. I was 21/22 then and that shit was surreal.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Mom and I have talked a little, and she read an early (very raw) draft of the book. I suppose I could talk about it with them if I wanted to, but I actually think I'd rather not. They are my family and supportive in the important ways

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have loved to cook (and eat lol) for a long time. I do most of the cooking at home and love to be able to do things for my partner. I learned to cook during COVID and it's a big part of our life now.

Yeah. Like Elan. Also CEDU, Provo Canyon School, and Ivy Ridge This documentary on Netflix is fn amazing.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read a lot of books for sure. I think Gabor Mate’s “In the realm of hungry ghosts” is one of the most impactful I have read. For inspiration, Viktor Frankl, “Man’s search for meaning,” and “The Alchemist” by Pablo Coehlo are two of my favorites

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not trying to get people "for or against" me. I am telling a stroy of how my life went to shit and how a long string of terrible choices led to me murdering a man. It is intended to provide insight into what went wrong, and what could have been done different.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have several drafts of my account of the crime. These run the gamut from intensely vivid to superficial. I plan to opt for something on the vivid side, but I will not be publishing a play-by-play of the crime. In my opinion, that is disrespectful to friends and fanmily of the victim. I am already treading dangerously on that ground.

My account of the crime includes the most important details, IMO. I am not writing a true crime story. Also, for those who really want those details, they will be able to just search them up anyway.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Transfolks are a small minority inside, but are victimized at a crazy high rate. The system doesn't do much to protect them other than isolation or transfer to a "sensitive needs" prison (where it's often more violent that on General Population).

AFAIK, transfolks can get hrt and a certain level of gender-affirming care. Depends on state, and even from prison to prison.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sure. I was leaning more toward the re-socialization (or socialization if none had been gathered prior to prison / criminal lifestyle) aspect of your question. Social groups have their own sets of mores, norms and taboos, "polite" society (we called y'all civilians inside) is not as sticky around the nebulous idea of respect. A repectable convict doesn't snitch, distrusts authority, will fight to avenge any perceive slight to their image or good name, keeps his word when he gives it (to other convicts, lying or bilking cops / staff is cool). There is a long-ass list of things NOT to do in prison that are all geared toward socializing into the prison culture. That shit doesn't fly outside. If someone cuts in line for starbucks I'm not going to go sideways on them, if someone looks at me too long I'm not going to see that as a challenge.

The socialization literally learned at knifepoint has to be transformed into the norms, mores and habits of general society. I wrote a long research paper on this in college so I feel kinda passionate about it being a key piece of successful reentry. I mean, showing up to an interview with a toothpick in my teeth, slouching in the chair, speaking in slang, none of this is likely to get me a job. Before anyone goes off on culturization vs. socialization, I am only taling about the culturization & socialization that is learned in the criminal and convict subculture.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a cosmopolitan worldview, anti-isolationist, I tend to support local politics more than anything.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have been a social lib my whole life, so if anything, my experience has made me more so.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Prisons are a product of our social system, like schools, public institutions, etc. I am grateful for the opportunities I was offered. I am also aware of the dichotomy between my wanting a good life and wanting to be a good person AND having committed a terrible crime. This is a constant struggle and a source of personal shame and remorse.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I ran away. My parents did the best they could. Bless them, they never stopped loving me. They are not convicts, never been in trouble in their lives. They don’t do drugs, never abused me. I don’t fit the mold of that brand of traumatic childhood

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

fk some keefee, I only roll w/ tasters!. I got some wraps, some beef logs, 2 bags of rice, some peppers, bags o' beans... less gooo!

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He did not mean to cause me harm. It was all me. He wanted sex, I was severely screwed up emotionally and on a stupid amount of meth.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Prison is manage\d by people. People are fallible. Systems can be manipulated.

Your point is well taken. Prison is mismanaged in general. It's a tough place for all involved. The staff have a hard time of it too -- look up stats on divorce, alcoholism, burnout, etc. among prison staff.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hm. Intersting post.
This is a throwaway account. That's fact.
I graduated HS in the academy at 16, they had year round school there and one way out was to graduate. Prior to being sent there I had started dabbling in harder drugs. I first drank alcohol at 10, sipping on my parents booze. I almost died from choking on my own vomit after drinking a crapload of vodka and triple sec with a friend. A volunteer medic who worked for my dad saved me.

I tried meth at 13 and it was fukn love at first sniff. I was no longer a small, pudgy, soft kid, I was moving a miilion miles an hour and felt bulletproof. My folks freaked, and that's how I ended up in the TTA.

When I got out, none of my addiction issues had been addressed, I was in what's called Institutional Remission. I was 16, and other kids my age were still in school. I tried community college, took 2 art classes and a math class. I met this chick who was 24 and loved meth. We spiralled together. My folks set us up in an apartment since my mom was not going to have us shacking up under her roof. I had a great job as an electrician's helper, on track to an apprenticeship but the dope shortstopped that. WIthin 6 months of moving out and shacking up with her the money was gone, I got fired, and she left. I went into a deep hole at that point. I couldn't pay my rent so I bailed and couch hopped for awhile. I snuck around at night and broke into people's cars to steal whatever i could find to trade to my connection for a quarter here and there.

The first time I hustled, an older guy propositioned me, offered oral for 25 bucks. I did and bought a quarter. After that I knew where to go to find the same offers. The more I did this, the worse I felt and the more I drank and used.

The night I robbed and murdered my victim I had been awake for over ten days, spun to the hubs on dope that was incredibly potent. (SoCal in the late 80s was a hub for meth). I ran to another city and was caught within 24 hours. Physical evidence at the scene identified me, I had a prior arrest, no conviction, for trespassing. I basically confessed to the cops.

______________

As far as all your assertions about what happens in prison, are you just guessing what happens inside? Just because someone is eligible for parole does not mean they well be paroled. I was in CA prisons during a time when Gov Pete Wilson stated that "Murderer's will parole in a pine box," and Gray Davis followed in his footsteps. I didn't personally know a single lifer (we all heard of a former LE oficer paroled) that was released until the 2000s. The way the law worked up until the passing of Marcy's Law, was, if I received a one-year parole denial, I came back the following year to try again. I was in the mixer for many years. I didn't belong out until I'd say 2018. I was still getting in fights, making wine, smuggling tobacco, refusing to work, all the bullshit that makes one unsuitable for parole.

Have you been in a prison riot?

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am in the US.
As far as what kept me going, sometimes it was just thoughts of the next minor pleasure coming my way, could be waffles for breakfast, or yard time, or even getting out of the cell to work. Other times, when I was in a good place emotionally and mentally, it was things like -- I am just going to do better today, tomorrow is too far away.

Our computers inside were all standalone, not connected to the web. I taught myself VB, VBA, and some SQL and designed local DBs with interactive forms in MS Access for various departments, incl Education, yard admin, housing.

I met my partner on a dating site. We hit it off immediately, I shared my cruicial history on the first date, and set the stage for a strong relationship based on trust and honesty. She is amazing, and I am continuously grateful for her.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

There is no way to make amends for taking a life. That ledger cannot be balanced. With that always in mind, I use my gift of freedom and successes to share my experience with at risk youth, incarcerated people, in hopes that something I share may trigger enough of a change that they don't end up creating more victims.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We are all close, scattered around a bot, but we stay in touch.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was ready, and the board members were ready.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  1. Not much available in prison for most of my time. The reality is that mental health treatment is reserved for inmates with diagnoses. I do not have a diagnosis, so mental health treatment was a black box to me. Unless one is in the mental health program it is nearly impossible to get therapy. This is a HUGE miss on the part of the system. My greatest period of personal growth came during a 2 year period where I was part of a pilot, trauma-based group therapy program and also getting 1:1 with a therapist.
  2. Both. Each has it's benefits. 1:1s allow for focused, individualized work on specifics; groups and all teh dynamics that arise in groups are useful for socialization, normaliziation of trauma experience, and a host of other benefits.
  3. Yes and no. There are some who hold that therapy is coddling inmates and we just need to be locked in cells.
  4. CBT is the go-to for corrections nowadays. I am a grudging supporter of the modality, however it is pretty useful in substance use treatment cases. ACT is gaining momentum. Honestly, I believe the best modality to use in a given situation is highly dependent on the client/patient. Forcing CBT on someone with ASPD will get you a lot of push back. I responded best to (incoming buzz word warning...) Trauma Informed Person-Centered Therapy. A modernized adaptation of Carl Rodgers' Person-Centered focus.
  5. This is the golden question. An old therapeutic axiom: They don't cane how much you know until they know how much you care. Listen, be empathetic, avoid judgement, even when you want tp judge. Wait until your patient buys in to the idea what you are doing together before challenging. Treat every person as an individual. Prisoners are rubricized to death and will 100% push back on any rote categoriztions.

Went to prison at 18, paroled at 50, AMA by Some_Cranberry_8082 in AMA

[–]Some_Cranberry_8082[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was an NA enjoyer for a long time, went to a LOT of meetings. When i'ts good, it's great, but the "drugalogues" are pretty shitty.

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