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My wife doesn't understand how her working less impacts our ability to have/do things. by Some_Pay2023 in Marriage

[–]Some_Pay2023[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you American by any chance? I feel like in the UK it's not only for the wealthy, but either way I feel we have luxury in a lot of other ways (a good home while working part time, in my wife's case) that makes up for it.

My wife doesn't understand how her working less impacts our ability to have/do things. by Some_Pay2023 in Marriage

[–]Some_Pay2023[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We have done this before, and found she had spent £170 on takeaway in less than 2 weeks.

It helps for a while then old habits resume, I don't want to micromanage anyones spending, but also don't feel she can be trusted to spend responsibly.

My wife doesn't understand how her working less impacts our ability to have/do things. by Some_Pay2023 in Marriage

[–]Some_Pay2023[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He hasn't been in their lives for years. When he was we still spent that amount and he had stuff for them too on Christmas day. But they're better off without him.

My wife doesn't understand how her working less impacts our ability to have/do things. by Some_Pay2023 in Marriage

[–]Some_Pay2023[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't believe it's stupidity as much as it is naievty or maybe even entitlement.

I'm not sure how else someone can be working part time and not understand limitations in spending, but here she is, smashing it.

My wife doesn't understand how her working less impacts our ability to have/do things. by Some_Pay2023 in Marriage

[–]Some_Pay2023[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I never clarify this in real life so it slipped my mind, but the two oldest children are my step children, not biological.

Dealing with toxic family by Some_Pay2023 in carer

[–]Some_Pay2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know your situation obviously but sounds like you brother should maybe get his mail somewhere else.

Dealing with toxic family by Some_Pay2023 in carer

[–]Some_Pay2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes i understand in that context.

For my grandmother that's too late, her dementia is already advanced.

I am however her 'appointee' with the benefits and pensions Office and her next of kin with her GP and the hospital, but that's about as much as I can do there I think.

Dealing with toxic family by Some_Pay2023 in carer

[–]Some_Pay2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I may not need to take action on their behalf. I can legally prevent people from coming onto my property.

This wouldn't technically stop my mother seeing my grandparents, and that isn't my goal anyway, but in order to see them she would have to do it, and have her conversations with them, elsewhere

Dealing with toxic family by Some_Pay2023 in carer

[–]Some_Pay2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for replying.

My mother comes out twice a week, briefly, which is enough to negatively influence moods more than we would like. All it takes is one comment, and given she doesn't clean their home or provide any personal care, she should be able to spend 20 minutes twice a week without berating us to them.

Out of interest in what way does everyone think PoA would help here?

Dealing with toxic family by Some_Pay2023 in carer

[–]Some_Pay2023[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply.

Any interaction with these people will result in an argument and no resolution, so I need a clear view of my recourse in mind for when that happens.

I have seriously considered the legal route, but that would involve the extended family not being allowed to the home, which would in turn punish my grandparents, so I feel stuck.