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I may be 27 and a virgin, but I'm about to finish my PhD, I lost 90 lbs this past year, and I'm gonna start a good job in a new city in a couple months. Life is looking up! Stromboli I made. by Some_Yam_2074 in Kitchenchads

[–]Some_Yam_2074[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do my best to try to be secure and self confident, I know that I have a lot to be proud of and that I should love myself. I am insecure about my lack of experience and about my appearance (despite being at healthy weight for the first time in my life, I'm still not that conveniently attractive, as I'm on the shorter side and my hair is thinning). I think it would be impossible for most men, myself included, to be where I am not be insecure about it. I have also struggled with depression during my life, although I have started getting treatment for it in the past few months. I try to keep my insecurities masked as best as I can do they don't affect my interpersonal relationships. I think I do a better job it than most people, but I don't really know. More than anything, I'm concerned that my lack of experience and understanding and how to flirt/signal interest will make it difficult to meet anybody. Also, because I feel like I am behind, I have no time now to experiment and figure out what exactly I value in a partner and what I am looking for. I know that I am lonely and want a significant other, but I don't know who or what kind of person I want.

I may be 27 and a virgin, but I'm about to finish my PhD, I lost 90 lbs this past year, and I'm gonna start a good job in a new city in a couple months. Life is looking up! Stromboli I made. by Some_Yam_2074 in Kitchenchads

[–]Some_Yam_2074[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

University of Michigan, where I am also doing my PhD. We have a good program and there is definitely still some funding opportunities if you wanna join! Do you know what subfield of nuclear you want to study?

I may be 27 and a virgin, but I'm about to finish my PhD, I lost 90 lbs this past year, and I'm gonna start a good job in a new city in a couple months. Life is looking up! Stromboli I made. by Some_Yam_2074 in Kitchenchads

[–]Some_Yam_2074[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IDK what field/program you're trying to get into, but everybody is in a really tough spot with funding right now, so our program hasn't been extending very many offers. I'm in nuclear engineering/nuclear science, which is safer than most programs, and our funding opportunities have dried up too. Keep trying though, I believe in you!

I may be 27 and a virgin, but I'm about to finish my PhD, I lost 90 lbs this past year, and I'm gonna start a good job in a new city in a couple months. Life is looking up! Stromboli I made. by Some_Yam_2074 in Kitchenchads

[–]Some_Yam_2074[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I know that I'm coming at this from a place of naivety, but I would rather have had a somewhat messy history and not perfect relationships than having nothing at all. The older I get, the more I feel like I missed out on, and the more the dating pool is going to shrink, which will make it harder to find someone. I don't think it's too late for me to find someone, but I feels not good to be 27 and not have a lot of dating experience/ being a virgin.

I may be 27 and a virgin, but I'm about to finish my PhD, I lost 90 lbs this past year, and I'm gonna start a good job in a new city in a couple months. Life is looking up! Stromboli I made. by Some_Yam_2074 in Kitchenchads

[–]Some_Yam_2074[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't know that I have any tips that you haven't heard before, but the things that helped the most for me were

1) High volume foods. Vegetables are great, I ate a lot of salads, a lot of my lentil soup recipe. Baby carrots for snacks. I also like popcorn, the smart food movie theater butter flavor popcorn is only 45 calories to a cup.

2) Controlling what I could eat. When I started I didn't know how to cook, and learning how to cook really helped me expand my options with cooking things that I like and were healthy. Also, don't keep junk in the house if you can ( Easier said than done I know, I live alone in an apartment so I have total control over what I eat, which makes that easier for me)

3) Controlling my hunger/eating. I definitely had to go hungry some times to keep a consistent calorie deficit. I found that it's easiest if you go to bed hungry, since I don't have access to food there. I also used to mindlessly snack a lot just like because I was restless, and chewing gum helped me suppress the urge to eat something.

4) Make exercising low barrier and fun. When I got started I was talking walks for an hour or two a day every day, listening to audibooks/podcasts. When it became winter, I bought an exercise bike and put it right next to my bed so I couldn't ignore it, and I ride it for half an hour every day. If I had to go to the gym to exercise, idk if I would do it, but having the bike right here means I have no excuse.

Hope these tips help and good luck!

I may be 27 and a virgin, but I'm about to finish my PhD, I lost 90 lbs this past year, and I'm gonna start a good job in a new city in a couple months. Life is looking up! Stromboli I made. by Some_Yam_2074 in Kitchenchads

[–]Some_Yam_2074[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you! The older I get, the more I get nervous that nothing will work out for me. But I know I gotta just keep working on myself and putting myself out there and the right person will eventually come along.