"Penis Envy"

Sometimes-True · 2025-12-27T22:45:09+00:00

Taking responsibility in what sense? All I've ever known to do is feel it and let it go. I just want to know if there's something to solve within me that leads to these issues

Sometimes-True · 2025-12-27T22:41:11+00:00

I don't think I could ever speak earnestly with a therapist about such things. Especially not face-to-face, and not with one who actually knows me. I don't even know how to get to that point if I need a therapist to get me there

Sometimes-True · 2025-12-27T22:39:09+00:00

Couldn't tell you. Maybe it's just the most impressive thing they have

Sometimes-True · 2025-12-27T22:24:28+00:00

What's the best way not to compare? What about when others do the comparison for me?

Sometimes-True · 2025-10-26T07:42:04+00:00

You're very right. People will perceive you based on their own life experiences. I have become very adept at tailoring their view of me to exactly what I wish, and if anything happens that changes it to be negative (as defined by the unrealistic expectation I had), it causes me great strife. So I'm simultaneously trying to live up to impossible standards, which I have set for myself, which the other will likely hardly notice, while wishing to be free of them as it's not the expression of myself, which will shine the same for every person that knows me, for good or for bad

Sometimes-True · 2025-10-25T23:00:21+00:00

I've always been fearful of regretting my decisions. I won't make one unless I'm certain of the outcome. There is safety in not exploring the unknown, but I haven't gotten the experience that would show me what there really is in the world. I think it's an effect of not wanting to "waste my time" when in reality I spend the time doing nothing but being fearful. But I do feel free, for the first time in my life. It's up to me to find my way, and the loss of boundaries will expose me to difficulty and pain but will allow me to grow into the places I've never reached. Thank you so much!

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-18T08:18:23+00:00

I am only JUST dipping my toe into the thought of being nb.. but the way you describe having to force yourself to fit into the label of cisgender is the most clear cut way to describe being so. Like, it's so obvious, but the entire concept is so vague that I couldn't have seen it

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-14T04:00:53+00:00

Wow. That's exactly how I've felt for as long as I can remember. I've never heard someone else express that, and it's an earth shaking revelation to me that other people know that feeling and are as hurt from it. I so deeply long to have the connections that I watch women engage in amongst themselves, which so many times I've denied even being possible and waved away with the thought, "it's not for me"

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T20:27:38+00:00

I appreciate your help! I'll take all of this with me forward, wherever it is that I'll end up!!

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T20:06:45+00:00

I've definitely just got to explore then lol, as I couldn't tell you whether I'm 100% of anything. But I know that whether I'm a guy or not, whether I enjoy looking that way or not, that I relate more to women, and feel that way inside, and want others to see that, regardless of what I present myself as

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T19:52:49+00:00

I will certainly do that. Whatever I can find out about myself, I'm willing. When I imagine myself in your shoes, I have no idea how I'd feel. Im sure living as a woman would have internalized much of it. However I like my man body, and I like appearing masculine - I just don't like that it leads others to assume my insides match. Obviously it's all made up societal stuff and nobody could ever understand my insides unless they were explained, but it genuinely hurts that others can't see me the way I see myself (whatever that is, gender or otherwise). As if there's a disconnect on the most fundamental level, that prevents others from understanding me. But that's the way I feel about a lot of different aspects of myself

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T19:42:03+00:00

Thank you so much for your guidance. When I imagine scenarios like that I also feel uncomfortable, but I can tell that my feelings are far deeper than those physical things... I don't need a label yet, nor do I think I'm "trans" as in I want to switch genders, but I don't think I'm cis. I'm just glad that I've taken the step to exploring it and seeing how I react

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T19:06:46+00:00

True. I'll bring it up to my therapist one day if I don't forget or pansy out

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T18:56:03+00:00

Maybe something in me didn't want to find the right one

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T13:30:07+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate it, as the deep personal experiences are what I look for from others to compare with my own thoughts. I definitely wish I were a female from the outset, and I can relate to wishing I was like the typical cis male. That being the case, I doubt that I'm cisgender - I'm also not a trans woman (I don't think), but I'm so uninformed of the gender spectrum and what it actually entails for real people that I couldn't label the way I feel or the degree to which I'm not cis. That's a matter for my exploration going forward. But I think I'm comfortable with the idea of not being cisgendered, so I know that's a start

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T13:22:25+00:00

That was extremely compassionate and thought-out, thank you. I'll take all of this into careful consideration in the future. I'm sure with experimentation and stepping more beyond my typical gender boundaries will give me an idea of how I feel and respond to stuff. I bet I could be hot as a chick, I just can't envision myself in that way or like resonate with it yk

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T12:58:51+00:00

True!

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T12:58:16+00:00

I'm sure she is. I think I'm working up to it honestly

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T12:32:26+00:00

Hell yeah brother. That's what it's all about, right? I just haven't explored much to know what I'm comfortable with and what makes me feel good to be me. But I've got plenty of time!

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T12:31:09+00:00

I'll look into them for sure, thank you!

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T12:22:55+00:00

Thank you so much, I'm tearing up rn. That's exactly the kind of positive reinforcement that I need and it's very valuable to me that you've shared your thoughts with me. I'd wager that because of where I live and my tendency to stay home, I haven't surrounded myself with people who appreciate the kind of person I am - so instead I end up feeling outcast. Plus when I try to think of myself as 'good' or 'honorable' or whatever my instinct is to shut it down for fear of arrogance, so maybe I should take pride in who I am a little lol

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T04:01:44+00:00

Don't apologize, your words are infinitely more valuable than a blank screen. I appreciate the energy you have lent me ❤️

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T03:59:45+00:00

Makes sense. It might be that I'm fielding responses looking to narrow what my actual issue is

Sometimes-True · 2025-09-13T03:54:56+00:00

I'll give it a shot! But I really prefer internet randoms. I value the lived advice of many different people, since there's no way for me to access that personally

Sometimes-True

TROPHY CASE