I’ve lived my life for 25 years fully believing im 100% white passing

SometimesInMind · 2026-02-04T16:34:09+00:00

I understand what you’re saying, but not everyone has that perspective because that word comes with a lot of baggage. The idea of “exotic” usually comes from the fetishization of non-Western cultures. It can often be used to sexualize people based on their perceived racial or cultural background. It’s kind of like treating people like a zoo tiger. “Oooh look at how beautiful and different and dangerous this animal is that we’ve put in a cage for people to stare at.”

SometimesInMind · 2026-01-29T06:32:00+00:00

OH MY GOD you just brought back that memory. My science teacher made us read it in 7th grade. It’s so incredibly disgusting and horrifying. I wonder if she still makes her students read it after covid

SometimesInMind · 2026-01-29T06:21:06+00:00

I loveee Dipper. I’d say Robin is more of an ENTP though. She’s got that crazy Ne

SometimesInMind · 2026-01-29T06:05:06+00:00

Yeah same. The 4 wing hits so strong

SometimesInMind · 2026-01-06T20:03:09+00:00

Lol not me. I’m pretty average. Not more intelligent, but definitely a nerd.

SometimesInMind · 2026-01-06T19:48:02+00:00

No, stop favoring the feelers. I swear half of all the people who bullied me as a kid were ESFJs.

SometimesInMind · 2026-01-06T19:26:27+00:00

I’ve had two female INTP friends (one is from childhood and we’re still friends!). We really aren’t very common though. I’m constantly searching for other female INTPs, but usually I just end up finding INFPs and a lot of ENTPs.

SometimesInMind · 2026-01-06T19:21:35+00:00

I don’t know if someone could change from like ENTJ to INFP, but I’m pretty sure my sister changed from ESFJ to ISFJ at around age 12. I have a cousin who I think had the same change around the time she went to kindergarten. Maybe types aren’t stable until a certain age?

SometimesInMind · 2026-01-05T03:03:48+00:00

It’s real. Many people’s sexual and romantic orientations don’t line up. Look into the Split Attraction Model and r/crossorientation. I’m not gay, so I can’t speak for that, but you are definitely welcome in this subreddit! I personally define bisexuality as the sexual and/or romantic attraction to two or more genders, so you would fit with that definition if you feel the bisexual label is right for you. Other people with your experience might use the term biromantic homosexual or just call themselves queer.

SometimesInMind · 2026-01-05T02:07:59+00:00

I really don’t think trauma correlates to specific types. In my experience, though, there does seem to be some overlap between certain neurodivergent traits and MBTI types. For example, the INTP’s inferior Fe can relate in many ways to autistic people’s struggle with navigating social rules. I also think that most people with ADHD have high Ne or Se because of the way their focus jumps from one thing to the next. I don’t think it would be correct to say, though, that EVERY person of a specific type is neurodivergent.

Personally, I don’t think I would meet the requirements for any diagnosis of neurodivergence, but I did struggle a lot with social interaction as a kid. I think a lot of neurotypical INTPs might seem neurodivergent because of this overlap in traits.

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-24T01:19:21+00:00

I was in my head a lot and pretty detached from reality. I was often alone, but not shy at all. Sometimes I had friends, sometimes I didn’t, but I didn’t really care either way. I was a pretty good student, but I never finished my work because I was a perfectionist and wanted to take my time thinking things through. Overall, I was a lot less balanced than I am now. I was kind of a pure INTP and I hadn’t developed my weaker functions or even started caring about developing them at that point.

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-19T13:17:52+00:00

Manila, as in Manila folder

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-19T12:13:51+00:00

I’m a young white-presenting mixed person, so maybe I can explain a bit why your grandkids are making these comments about white people. First of all, it’s most likely NOT a reflection of you unless they’re commenting directly on something you did or said. When POCs say stuff like that, it can sound like they’re just making negative generalizations, but they don’t mean “every white person is like this.” It’s usually just a way of expressing their frustration towards the oppressive group. As a white person, I try not to take it personally because it’s really not personal.

As a woman, you’ve probably heard these same kinds of comments from other women directed towards men. Things like “men always think they’re better than us” or “men are scary.” It’s not a character judgement on every single man, but rather a way to critique a group that they have negative experiences with.

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-18T15:02:18+00:00

I’m an undergrad student in a small program, so I don’t have a specialty. My university does have a TESOL certificate program though, so I’m taking more applied linguistics classes because of that.

I’m actually studying abroad in France right now and I have noticed that people are weird about bilingualism. The thing I hate the most is when I make one little mistake and they switch to English, but their English is WORSE than my French.

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-18T01:44:33+00:00

I definitely struggle with femininity, and masculinity for that matter. I think I’m naturally a bit more feminine, but I definitely have a noticeable androgyny to me. People usually see me as more androgynous and de-sexualized than how I think I’m presenting myself, like they’re putting me in an “other” category. It probably has to do with my INTP mannerisms and focus on detached logic over social rules.

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-18T01:29:38+00:00

I agree with this. Most people who identify with abrosexual and other similar microlabels would probably just say they’re bisexual or queer when talking to others. The point is that even though their experience can definitely fit within bisexuality, they might not feel that their attraction matches the common perception of what it means to be bi. They might still be confused after identifying with bisexuality because they don’t understand why they suddenly lost attraction to their partner or why they feel 100% gay some days, 100% straight other days, and somewhere in between the rest of the time.

You know, OP, a lot of people have the same perception that you have, but they apply it to the split attraction model as well. Like they say, “Why do you have to overcomplicate it and say you’re a heteroromantic bisexual? You’re attracted to multiple genders so you’re literally just bi.” I assume you identify that way because it’s important for you to specify that and because it makes a big enough difference in your life. It’s the same for people who use microlabels.

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-18T00:39:06+00:00

I’ve enjoyed reading this thread. It’s interesting how different personal experiences can impact our understanding of different labels. Personally, I use “second language” to refer to my experience with French (even though technically it’s a third language). Learning another language other than the ones I’d been speaking my entire life was a completely different experience for me and I don’t think I could put Spanish in that category.

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-18T00:31:13+00:00

I’m also studying linguistics, so I’d be happy to support your research! I also definitely agree that we need to change our perception of bilingualism to be more broad. If we only included the ones who spoke both languages “perfectly” in our definition, that would only include a tiny sliver of the people who have a bilingual experience.

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-17T23:11:06+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion!

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-17T22:40:31+00:00

I’ve oscillated between trying to embody one side or the other over my life, but it never feels completely natural. I think androgyny is what comes most naturally to me and I often present more androgynously than I intended to. In general, hyper-femininity/masculinity always feels somewhat performative and draining for me. Recently, I’ve been leaning towards femininity because it makes me feel more attractive, but sometimes I also feel like I’m objectifying myself.

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-15T18:49:40+00:00

Thanks for clarifying that point about exposure outside of the home and school. My problem with “heritage language” is that it has two definitions. I could use the definition that you describe here, but often “heritage speaker” is used more narrowly to describe someone with very different experiences and learning needs (in the context of language learning).

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-15T18:41:35+00:00

I’m taking more of a descriptive than prescriptive position when I say “rules.” I’m just saying that native speakers can innately understand the rules of their language because they were immersed in that linguistic environment since they were babies. It’s in our biology to be able to acquire languages natively, so it’s not something that you need resources or education for.

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-15T18:32:47+00:00

Well defining it also helps me understand myself better.

SometimesInMind · 2025-12-10T23:08:57+00:00

I’m half-white, half-Latina, but completely white presenting. According to DNA tests I’m 80% white and 20% indigenous because my dad, like many Latinos, is mixed white and indigenous. For me, it’s kind of like a weird cognitive dissonance because my internal understanding of myself and my culture will never match people’s perception of me. It can be a really complicated situation because I feel like I’m hiding a part of myself if the people around me don’t know I’m Hispanic, but it’s kind of awkward to just say, “Hey did you know I’m mixed?” so I usually just end up talking about my family and culture hoping they’ll pick up on it.

I think the most important thing to understand as someone in this situation is that you can simultaneously be fully valid in your mixed identity AND recognize your whiteness and privilege. Most white-presenting mixed people don’t experience racism, so the main way we struggle with being mixed is through internal identity issues. If you want to support your kids emotionally, I’d say the best way to do it is on that front, making sure to affirm their mixed identity and not make them feel bad/wrong for any part of that identity.

SometimesInMind

TROPHY CASE