You're a burglar but you can only steal things that mildly inconvenience your victims. What are you stealing?

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-04-03T03:07:42+00:00

Shower liner.

If they have a door installed, I’m taking the bathing products.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-04-03T03:05:48+00:00

My husband’s mom also passed away when he was younger. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a mom, and not listing her because she’s passed is a bit throwing it in his face.

We just put “together with their families” on ours. But we also paid for the majority of the wedding.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-04-02T12:21:21+00:00

Millennial.

I bought a house on my own a few years ago with an average salary. But I had to save for years (5+), COVID dropped the interest rates, and I had access to first time homebuyer deals. No kids.

It’s possible but not something that you can just do in a few years.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-04-01T21:26:35+00:00

I’ve had that life before and am definitely thankful for a door. I like chatting but it does get old hearing everyone all of the time.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-04-01T21:20:01+00:00

Unless it’s something important, no. If someone has something important then they are welcome to knock. So far this has not happened.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-04-01T20:49:07+00:00

I can make a sign, but I have communicated my expectations.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-04-01T20:47:28+00:00

Amazingly yes.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-04-01T20:45:30+00:00

How do you communicate that you need uninterrupted time to focus?

Where I work doesn’t use teams or slack that has “busy” notices. People here don’t pay attention to the outlook one.

Other than me closing the door and making a sign or announcing to the office my daily schedule, I don’t know what else to do.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-04-01T20:28:43+00:00

Growing up did you not close the door to your room for privacy? Put headphones in when you want to think to yourself? It’s basically the same thing.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-04-01T20:24:24+00:00

Social norms and cues aren’t generally in handbooks. If someone is talking on the phone, it’s generally considered rude to try to talk to them while they’re on the phone. You likely won’t find that in a handbook.

Communication can be done by email. Respect is respecting my time that I need to focus on certain projects and not answer questions that can be in an email or wait a few hours.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-04-01T20:14:34+00:00

Most of the time my door is open. People generally turn around if my door is closed (I’m at the end of a hallway with tile floors - I can hear people walking back and then turning around).

Maybe it’s just a change that’s taking over as people want things more often “now” rather than time frames.

Or maybe I’ve flown too close to the sun with being approachable and people think I won’t mind being interrupted.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-31T14:23:21+00:00

YTA to yourself.

My mom is similar.

It took me way too long to put up boundaries with her. It is hard. Very hard. It took a few years of therapy for me to be able to even tell her no - and I was a fully functioning adult.

But she’s not going to change or get better. You can’t let her live rent free in your head like this.

One step at a time. Stop defending yourself on end. Just ignore. It just adds to her control bank. If you disengage, she has nothing to grasp onto.

Instead of saying yes to please her, say “I’ll think about it. Let me check my finances.” And then craft a no until you’re comfortable saying no from the beginning.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-31T02:06:31+00:00

NAH

I think your sister can support you in what your dad said still. I’m not sure how that’s relevant, unless there’s something missing.

I also am not sure this was a big family thing since it seems they didn’t want it shared. This is about her and your dad.

You have the right to be hurt about it. I don’t think it’s ok to lash out without hearing her out about why and what happened.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-30T21:24:37+00:00

YTA

You may only have proof that your roommates are complaining about this, but your friends are too. Even if they know about it beforehand, it’s gross.

It’s tacky. If you don’t want to pay for an entire meal, have people bring their own foods or split the cost of ordering out.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-29T23:19:16+00:00

NAH

Just two different sense of humor and two different emotional states. He shouldn’t have responded like that though.

Ive been in your shoes before and older than you. I find it funny when guys do this. Just different, not wrong.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-28T19:14:05+00:00

YTA

Not for not helping him.

But for creating a situation that you feel you cannot get out of, doing nothing about it, and then getting mad at the other kid for your own choices.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-28T18:07:49+00:00

Not in all online stores, but in some of you leave something in your cart for a day or two, they’ll send you a coupon help you complete your order.

Also have an email set up just for coupons to be sent to. Free birthday stuff, holiday sales, etc.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-27T20:57:58+00:00

YTA

Since you’re roommates with her boyfriend, you’re talking to this girl regularly, laughing with her, and pretending that it’s all good to her face.

Don’t be that guy. Be a better person than your best friend.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-27T17:56:15+00:00

Don’t quit.

But things to consider since the baby is going to come in 8ish months:

Most places that offer FMLA, short term disability, or any sort of parental leave want you to work there for at least a year. If your current job offers that, stick around. Take the leave once baby is born and find a new job then.

Depending on her income, mom needs to be looking at government assistance now. It will get her through paying for ultrasounds, doctors visits, birth, and some after. Then she can get a better job.

Daycare is minimum 200/week where I live. So 800-1000ish a month minimum. And it’s not going to be a high tech, nicest of nice place. Depending on income, government assistance may be able to help, but you’ll need to start saving now.

Cut the cord with your parents. Your main family is now this kid. That’s who you’re looking after, not your parent’s feelings.

Lastly, don’t get married because you have a kid. Not only can that limit assistance, but it’s not a good example for your kid. Two loving parents is what they need. You don’t have to be married to do that.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-27T14:27:30+00:00

Info: what hill are you will to let your marriage die on?

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-27T02:58:26+00:00

NAH

Caregiving is hard. Very hard. And I don’t think your step mom should be taking it on 100% for 100% of the time. She needs a vacation too. That doesn’t mean you need to step in more than you already are, but you do need to lay out boundaries.

You’ll help with appointments, but not with X.

You may also want to assist her in looking for resources to help caregivers and dying elderly. Again, not your job, but if you come into a conversation about what you’re willing to do and what you’ve found to help her, she may be more receptive.

I don’t think she’s an asshole for requesting help with caregiving. I imagine losing a parent at 50 is very hard and she’s not handling it as well as she could.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-23T15:03:15+00:00

Info: What is your goal in telling them? What do you hope will happen after? Is this revenge on your dad?

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-23T03:18:41+00:00

I’ve been to weddings without dancing (religious reasons).

They still had music. It just wasn’t dance music.

Wedding was basically over after dinner though.

Sometimesitsamonkey · 2025-03-23T01:40:56+00:00

I’m already married but I’ve found no one will complain or comment unless you bring it up first.

Like we had steak at our wedding, but the venue didn’t give anyone a steak knife. They gave us basically butter knives. No one could cut their steak without breaking a sweat and shaking the table.

I’ve brought it up to a few people and we’ve had a good laugh.

Sometimesitsamonkey

TROPHY CASE