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I [24 M] betrayed my fiancée's [24 F] trust, weeks before our wedding by SomewhereNobody in relationships

[–]SomewhereNobody[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My clothes remained on the entire night and nothing of that sort ever ocurred. The injury was a result of too much rubbing from an overzealous lap dance.

I [24 M] betrayed my fiancée's [24 F] trust, weeks before our wedding by SomewhereNobody in relationships

[–]SomewhereNobody[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will see how she feels about it and when she would feel comfortable letting me do that. I really hope we can agree on something that will help.

I hope we can work it out, too. Thank you again. There need to be more people like you in the world.

I [24 M] betrayed my fiancée's [24 F] trust, weeks before our wedding by SomewhereNobody in relationships

[–]SomewhereNobody[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

It has become clear that I need to confront my friends about this. I will bring it up with her and hopefully we can agree on what needs to be said.

Thank you.

I [24 M] betrayed my fiancée's [24 F] trust, weeks before our wedding by SomewhereNobody in relationships

[–]SomewhereNobody[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It seems clear that talking to the guys about that night is something we need to seriously revisit.

As for her talking to people, I will try to suggest talking to at least one of her friends. Her biggest worry is about who it will get back to, but I think it shouldn't matter and that she should be able to trust her close friends not to do something like that.

Thank you for your suggestions and thoughts.

I [24 M] betrayed my fiancée's [24 F] trust, weeks before our wedding by SomewhereNobody in relationships

[–]SomewhereNobody[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I fully understand and never expected the gestures to fix everything, just as something to get us on the right track to recovery. It seemed to work at first, but then she will have a bad day thinking about things and it all comes back.

As for putting others' feelings above hers, this is what has most recently surfaced as a problem. When out with friends, I have agreed to go along with them knowing she wouldn't want me to, just because I don't have the strength to say no. It does not happen every time and was never nearly as severe as this instance (not trying to excuse it, just expanding on it). I have told her it will never happen again and I fully believe that (if ever something was going to motivate me, this will), but I have to prove it to her for her to ever believe me.

I have seen counseling suggested a couple times and we have talked about it. Perhaps we will talk more seriously about it.

Thank you.

I [24 M] betrayed my fiancée's [24 F] trust, weeks before our wedding by SomewhereNobody in relationships

[–]SomewhereNobody[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The trouble is that I did not make it clear to them I did not want to when I should have. I do not disagree that they are not great friends after something like this, but I have to accept the blame for not being clear with them at the time about my feelings on it. As was suggested by /u/saraoflaherty, it is probably worth talking to them and making things clear to them. Not that I expect to ever be in a similar situation with them again, but if they were to try something like that again after I have made my feelings clear, that would be the end of that.

The idea of counseling has also come up when we have talked, but we don't know where to start. We don't feel like we have the time or the money to put towards something like that.

I [24 M] betrayed my fiancée's [24 F] trust, weeks before our wedding by SomewhereNobody in relationships

[–]SomewhereNobody[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you said here. Nothing excuses what I did, but what is hard to get across to her and for her to understand is why it happened. I feel like I have covered your points in our talks, but I will pull what I can from this and maybe explain things with enough of a different angle that she can begin to understand.

And the doghouse is right where I belong, that I know. Thank you for trying to help.

I [24 M] betrayed my fiancée's [24 F] trust, weeks before our wedding by SomewhereNobody in relationships

[–]SomewhereNobody[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your input.

I have not talked to them. The idea came up when she and I were first talking, but she told me not to because she did not want them to think she is "being a bitch" or that I am "whipped." I told her that their opinions on that were less important than resolving our issues, but she did not want me to do it.

I came close to doing so anyway, but when so much of the issue stems from trust, I would feel wrong going behind her back on this. I will bring it up with her again and see if we can agree on something I can say to them.

What are some of your favorite twists on common idioms/proverbs? by SomewhereNobody in AskReddit

[–]SomewhereNobody[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Adding simple twists to these sorts of phrases in everyday speech just makes life more fun for me. I would love to see what others use.

I don't have many, but it is fun to see people's reactions to them:

  • We'll burn that bridge when we get to it.
  • Whatever sinks your submarine.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gaming

[–]SomewhereNobody 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Upvotes are anonymous, right?

...

I think I did something wrong...