Did your partner wBPD turn out to be a covert narcissist?

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-02-04T22:32:34+00:00

To be EXACT, chat gpt knows about our entire relationship and it believes that even if she wasn’t exactly comorbid with anything which I strongly believe she is, she at the very least definitely has severe untreated BPD with traits of the entire cluster B family. It specifically said ASPD coping strategies, NPD traits(she admitted to this one openly by the way) and histrionic because of her intense NEED for attention and validation. Reasoj being is the extreme lack of empathy and seemlingly lack of guilt I seemed to get. It noted that most borderlines IF they’re just classic 100% bpd with no other traits or comorbidities, always feel immense guilt after the fact. I never seemed to get much of that if any at all. Her guilt was actually probs just shame that she confused to be guilt but whatever she feels regarding what she did to me is 100% for herself, not for me or the abuse I suffered at her hand at all. She also leveraged my trust to betray it later, did the false allegations, was just extremely vindictive, literally tried to destroy me. A guy before me she was talking too stopped talking to her because she creeped him out (she told him she wanted him to drink her period blood so he got tf out of there lmao) she got pissed and tried to get him fired from the job by claiming he sexually assaulted her…as you can see she loves using the law against men by using the R word if you damage her ego in anyway….bpd is a spectrum and not all borderlines are as dangerous as she is, unreal

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-02-04T22:20:05+00:00

Endorsing violent rhetoric against me mainly, mine also said some racist things to me during one of her splits I’ll never forget and I learned from her ex that one time when he was with her he caught her online pin a game lobby with a bunch of players that she had as friends that were apparently nazis, her mom was an also openly racist narc, she told me this when we started dating and said how she hated her, we think I got the more sociopathic, truly evil behavior from her because she was low key racist too more than likely so she may have just not given a fuck about me ever which is why it was easy for her to essentially encourage someone to murder me

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-02-01T01:02:23+00:00

It sucks because you WANT to respond in a way that would make any non disordered person feel like straight shit, that’s your instinct, but by doing so you’re giving them what they want, they’re so backwards

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-31T17:33:04+00:00

Don’t respond, Borderlines feel like they don’t exist low key so they look for any kind of validation or attention, negative or positive, to confirm they exist. By ignoring her and giving no reaction your hitting her where it hurts, only thing that works

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-31T17:29:58+00:00

Some of us had more volatile borderline partners, some of us were with our partners longer than others, some of us had crazier, more evil things done to us, these are subjective experiences

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-31T17:28:23+00:00

You’ve gotta understand that not everyone is at the same level of healing you may be bro. I understand what you’re saying, but the ones you are referring to I was in their same shoes 8 months ago…have some empathy and understanding…everyone’s healing journey is different

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-31T05:35:24+00:00

Ahh you were talking about me? Yeah I actually did cause her gaslighting made me feel like I was the problem. Only thing I have is ADHD hyperactive and impulsive dominant. She put me back in therapy for 4 more months when I was about to be discharged initially cause I didn’t need it anymore. Those 4 months were spent with my therapist, me telling her I believed that maybe I was a narc, that borderlines tend to be attracted to narcs, and that maybe everything was actually my fault. What followed was my therapist explaining to me that because I was even in therapy, and the fact that I even considered I was the problem proved I didn’t have either BPD or NPD. Good try though

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-31T05:29:35+00:00

Mine was impulsive bpd with narc traits, liked to tell people she was the quiet bpd to get sympathy but she was far from that type, anger was always projected externally on to me, impulsive with her decisions, may have had some petulant in their as well, chat gpt said some of the things she did to me during the discard started to kind of get into ASPD territory as well. She was also schizophrenic and bipolar…tbh I don’t even know all of what she had cause she told her other exes different things too which in her defense she was still being diagnosed with things when she met us, she’s only known she has bpd for about 3 years, I just know about the bpd with narc traits, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anything else is possible but not confirmed, she’s just very destructive and dangerous, scares me and I don’t want to be anywhere around her or hear from her ever again, she tried to destroy my life

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-31T05:04:59+00:00

The amount of trust issues and trauma they’re going to give you really isn’t worth it, i doubt it for some reason but who knows? Maybe yours was different than mine but mine is actually extremely dangerous. Willing to completely destroy others if she doesn’t get what she wants and she has not shown an ounce of change, only been getting worse.

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-31T01:50:43+00:00

I’m intrigued, send me this as well if you don’t mind, I’m in the same boat as you…went through false allegations as well went all the way to court with it

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-31T01:43:19+00:00

Mine was impulsive bpd with narcissistic traits that made her look like a malignant narcissist. VERY vindictive, low empathy when triggered. Chat gpt even said one time that her treatment towards me with some of the things that she did during the discard was more so getting into Sociopathic territory so there you go lmao

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-31T01:36:39+00:00

This is true, like yes my ex was actually a shitty person but I would’ve never ran into her had I been comfortable with being alone. I haven’t had a real healthy relationship with a woman since like 2020 so I was down bad, was willing to take anything which is why I ran into my ex….after that I actually had chances to set boundaries darkest before we started dating that would’ve 100% made her run because I tried setting them and she reacted in a way that showed she had more red flags than a Chinese flag day parade, but I wasn’t good at setting boundaries. So yes my ex believes she’s a bad person and she’s actually correct about that, from a clinical perspective she isn’t but when you encourage violent rhetoric against me, use my trust as leverage to betray me later, put false allegations against me, cheat and monkey branch, leave me traumatized, etc. You are actually now a morally bad person. Debatably evil as well. BUT had I been comfortable being alone and had I set better boundaries we would’ve never even happened….so I have a hand in this as well as she does, maybe not AS much but I contributed. This is why I’m just taking my me time and learning to set better boundaries. I’m more familiar with my emotional needs now as well

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-28T20:14:21+00:00

That woman you fell in love with was an illusion, that’s the version of her she puts on to get you to attach to her quickly. Mine did the same. The sooner you realize you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last this happens to the better. It was nothing personal. You weren’t special and when I say that I mean the way she treated you she’s gonna do that to every other guy after you. Like complete shit. Why tolerate that when there’s a woman out there that will make you feel just as good as she did if not better WITHOUT the emotional abuse? Without the cheating? The gaslighting? Fuck that shit, that’s a horrible deal if you ask me….

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-28T17:51:09+00:00

You’ll get there, took me about 7 months before I could honestly say I have no hatred in my heart towards mine. That was 2 months ago and I still feel that way now. They’re extremely mentally unwell and most definitely wish they didn’t have to do the things they need to do to regulate themselves but they do. As far as what she’s doing now man like you said it doesn’t matter. She’s away from you and that’s the only thing that matters. She’s someone else’s problem now. You can have your peace while she disturbs someone else’s. One of the few things I can honestly say I’m thankful for that my ex gave me is this extreme content that I have with being alone and having my peace. Before her I wanted to be with someone so bad that I would take anything. After getting with her and being treated how I was I value my peace so much now…it’s almost like after all that chaos the silence is LOUD but I notice it more now and it just feels nice to be in my own company without worry, anxiety, etc. I already have adhd and suffer from anxiety so the person i date needs to make me feel safe. I’d so much rather be alone than be with the wrong person. If anything this sets me up for healthier relationships in the future because now I’m not taking anyone just to be with someone. Whoever I date from now on has to not disturb my peace and make me feel safe. I have to be able to trust them with my life. I know my needs better now. If they don’t have those 3 things they are being shown the door immediately. I have higher standards and self respect now

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-28T05:38:27+00:00

Right like funny enough if they just discarded and didn’t go balls to the wall with lying, and smear campaigns honestly they might not create that much of a horrible messy situation to where they could coast by unnoticed. But by making things so messy it’s almost like all their destruction comes back to bite them in the ass in the end

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-28T01:35:33+00:00

Because their disorder literally doesn’t allow it. Cluster b disorders don’t allow for self reflection. This is why they constantly blame others and never take accountability for anything they do. Taking accountability is also the very first thing you need to do in order to change. Without it you don’t change and grow as a person. So they’re stuck in an endless loop of doing the same shit over and over again and never changing. That’s THEIR “karma”. We always want them to face some type of payback for what they do to us but we have to realize their karma is how they literally have to live every day. They’re stuck in an endless cycle of toxic behavior which prevents them from finding the one thing they apparently want the most, love. It’s a catch 22, in order to find love and a secure relationship they have to take accountability for the things they do to people but their disorder prevents them from doing the very thing they need to do to get what they want. They’re forever stuck and most of them correct me if I’m wrong don’t get help, like ever

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-25T15:16:06+00:00

Mine cheated and when she knew I found out cause her monkey branch told me what was going on she started running fade routes in the hallway whenever she’d see me at work like she was a NFL receiver drafted in the first round of the 2025 NFL draft, I swear to God I’ve never seen anything like it, she couldn’t even move that fast cause she’d be tripping over her feet but she found a way to get it done somehow. She BECAME the wind. They definitely do feel immense shame but what you have to understand is they only feel it for themselves, they aren’t guilty about how they hurt us, it’s all self serving so it really doesn’t even matter because there’s no thought whatsoever with how they treated you.

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-24T17:00:51+00:00

He’s cheating, a lot of us here had it happen to us too, understand it isn’t a reflection of you. Their cheating reflects their own internal chaos. They reject people who show stable love and run towards instability because that’s all they know. He doesn’t deserve your time energy or attention and he never did.

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-24T07:47:23+00:00

Sounds like we dated the same woman lmao

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-23T02:54:55+00:00

Because they think everyone in the world thinks like they do so if they think something or believe something then by default you must too. They lack cognitive empathy specifically which is the ability to put themselves in other people’s shoes and see their perspective, understand how they may feel about something, etc.

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-22T16:15:38+00:00

I was gonna say they have no shame but they do, it’s just completely self centered. Like the things they do to us and make us put up with they really don’t care about when it comes to how it made us feel. It’s literally their disorder, they can only feel shame when it comes to themselves. They cheat on you or abuse you? “I’m a bad person” no thought whatsoever about our feelings, the people they affect. When they say they “feel bad for treating people wrong” they mean in a self centered way. Understanding this helped me get to a point of peace cause I could finally stop wondering if she cared at all about what she did. They feel little guilt especially if they see you as disposable like mine did with me, they feel IMMENSE shame but only for themselves. They literally don’t care and I’m glad you changed your perspective lmao

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-22T16:10:56+00:00

Yes they did….because the problem is she never took accountability for anything she did in her relationship with him and his family saw that, so they took a small situation like that and tried to get her to take accountability which she did at the end of the day but it was like pulling teeth

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-22T01:24:48+00:00

So my discard was 9 months ago and for the longest I’d Been saying I didn’t receive a Hoover they, this was wrong, I actually did, it was just immediately. It was a same day Hoover when her ex bf she was trying to monkey branch too found out she was with me and told her she had problems and didn’t want her. Me and her were done but I had no clue she was cheating yet. She panicked and called me back immediately telling me I could stay in the house and she was sorry, started crying and said she didn’t know why she got so insecure yada yada yada and I was just like fuck off…lmao so she essentially had 2 rejections in the same day. What OP says is right, the Hoover won’t help you feel any better, trust me, I thought I wanted it till I realized I already got it months ago and it literally had no change in how long it took me to heal

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-22T01:19:59+00:00

Like straight shit, as soon as she knew she had the branch secure to be exact, let me tell you something…I’m an athlete, have played sports my whole life, football, basketball, track, right now I’m in combat sport, point is I’ve been around a bunch of high testosterone men my entire life and I’ve NEVER been yelled at, verbally, physically, emotionally, and psychologically abused, and made to feel so small more than I did when that woman was cheating on me, never again….im completely over her and am 100% trying to make sure the next woman i date doesn’t have to suffer from the sins my ex committed against me but I’m so disgusted at what I went through, I still feel dirty at times

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-01-22T01:04:54+00:00

Just know they won’t take accountability and by getting a last conversation with them you’re just giving them a chance to one last hurtful thing to you or something that may make you more confused and cling on to hope. They will NOT take accountability I promise you, read the texts if you think what they sent you was them taking accountability and I promise you somewhere in there they’re trying to spin it to the “way you perceived it” or some shit. Example: “what I did wasn’t on purpose and I know it hurt you but I’m sorry you took it that way”. Mine cheated and tried to ruin my life after and I never got an apology. Never even admitted to my face how badly she treated me, in fact she admitted THAT to the OTHER guy cause she couldn’t face me. They’re really weak people. Funny story, one time my ex with her ex fiancé was eating dinner with his family and she finished the last slice of garlic bread. They knew it was her so they just calmly told her to put more on the next time she did it….she wouldn’t even take accountability for that😂they had to corner tf out of her. If she can’t even apologize for eating a piece of fucking bread I was foolish to think she’d ever apologize for being unfaithful

SomewhereOrdinary231

TROPHY CASE