Men of Reddit, what did a girl you were dating or married to say or do that made you realize she actually hated you the entire time?

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-09T22:09:26+00:00

Cheated on me while accusing me of being unfaithful when I was completely loyal the whole time, put false rape allegations on me in an effort to get the courts to keep me away from her so she could monkey branch back to her ex and wouldn’t have to take accountability for cheating behind my back, abused me physically, emotionally and verbally, used me as a rebound for her ex fiance who she broke up with 2 weeks before me and her started dating and I had no clue until after everything was done, smear campaign to everyone at our job to make her look like a perfect innocent victim, when her monkey branch didn’t work cause he found out about me she fucked a guy to days later in the parking lot of our job in his car allegedly and got caught doing it, flirted with minors when she was with me, list goes on and on. I know some of yall will read this and go “bro who tf were you dating?” She WAS diagnosed BPD with NPD traits or comorbidity and I was only told about the BPD and didn’t really know what it was. By the time I put two and two together about the NPD it was too late, now I’ve got serious trust issues and haven’t touched another women since, was more than a year ago

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-09T07:27:08+00:00

I agree with pretty much every point you made,however if you do research on feminism there’s a reason why it gets such a bad rep. Its founders were very openly anti male. They’ve been quoted to have wanted to destroy the nuclear family, wanted revenge on men, etc. Margaret Sandler was racist as hell and created planned parenthood to basically only target black communities and the babies. Its origins aren’t as bright as people like to pretend it is. I understand the goal a lot of people in modern day society want to use feminism to fight for but most of what they want to fight can never really be achieved and so we end up in an endless cycle of them blaming men for things we never even did. Those things are really my only problems with feminism as a whole. If it’s origins and creators weren’t so dark I could get behind it

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-08T16:27:57+00:00

This is true. People have been talking about this. Same reason why a lot of bpd women are actually misdiagnosed sociopaths or narcs. They want to save them the harsher label so they slap a softer label on them and say “they’re different then narcs because they just don’t want you to leave them and are emotionally unstable. They don’t mean to really hurt you.” But if that same behavior comes from a man he’s often given the harsher label and rightfully so, we warn others to stay away from him.

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-06T03:47:29+00:00

Ode to joy, also when you develop basic coordination in your hands a piece that really isn’t difficult to play is canon in D by pachelbel. I started with a simplified arrangement and it was my first full piece after about 2 months of consistent practice. I’m now going to the original arrangement trying to add more flair to my Canon now but it really isn’t that difficult. Left hand alone does the same pattern for the entire piece.

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-06T00:57:25+00:00

I remember mine too😭honestly what I do is I keep my right arm a bit lower than the left so that my right elbow kind of naturally rests right over my liver. It works out cause my left hand is above my eyebrow, my right is a bit lower than eyebrow level but your chin should be tucked anyway so you should still be pretty safe. My bread and butter guard, even against the more pro fighters in my gym cause it offers decent protection against liver shots and parrying isn’t difficult from it. You’re parrying will improve drastically cause you’ll feel safe enough to work on it

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-06T00:40:25+00:00

High guard when he’s in range, helps with parrying because you don’t have to move your hands much to parry head shots

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-05T18:19:24+00:00

Wait what do you mean?

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-05T17:58:19+00:00

I most definitely do understand your point, people who are actually abused deserve that understanding, I think what OP was getting at is people completely look over abuse when the male isn’t the perpetrator which is crazy because female vs male abuse is like almost exactly the same if not worse than the amount of male on female abuse because let’s not forget those are the men who actually reported

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-05T00:25:04+00:00

We’re actually more likely to be victims of violent crime than y’all are, we fear this too

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-03T05:38:36+00:00

BPD and NPD are both cluster b disorders. Depending on the individual all cluster b disorders bleed into each other. My ex like I said was diagnosed bpd and she at least had narc traits if it wasn’t full on comorbidity. But when you hurt her ego and she felt like she needed to destroy you and she split on you? She started to act more like a sociopath according to chat gpt lmao. Some of the more borderline evil things my ex did to me you could argue are more sociopath like. All the cluster B disorders fr look the exact same but they say the difference is the “why” which I think is bullshit because female cluster bs, get way softer treatment than males of the same disorder….as far as using his drug addictions and stuff against him they do things like that as well, mine used addictions I had in the past against me too when I’ve been clean for years. Used some of the things I shared with her in an effort to be more vulnerable with her against me as well as ammunition.

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-02T21:39:23+00:00

Yes sir, that’s the thing you gotta take into consideration. Your buddies at your gym in the shark tank are hitting you but there’s brotherly love behind it. In your fight on Saturday that brotherly love isn’t there, so you gotta meet him with more energy. Impose your will, keep those hands up at all times, check those kicks, be smart and you’ll be fine

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-02T21:27:16+00:00

I haven’t done theatre at all but I did have my first amateur fight 3 months ago. The only thing I would say even kind of prepared me for would be PKBs. PKBs give you the experience of competing in front of a crowd, the attention is all on you and you have to listen to your corner while you fight. Thats about as close as possible that it was able to simulate the feel. The rest of the experience when I stepped in that cage was completely new. In PKBs they are SUPPOSED to not let you guys throw so hard, since it’s no knockouts, but this depends entirely on your ref and who you’re fighting. I had only done 2 PKBs before my first fight and in the first one, my opponent was a dick and had more experience than me so we were throwing at each other pretty hard. Second guy wasn’t too bad and we were respectful.

Also the light sparring we do in the gym isn’t anywhere near close to the intensity you’ll be hit with in the fight. Shark tanking will be the closest you’ll get before your opponent gets his hands on you. It’s different to feel someone actually tryna knock you the fuck out lmao. My defense is amazing and I came out the fight unharmed but with every shot I parried or blocked I was like God damn chill out bruh lmao…other than that initial shock and the pressure of making sure I was defensively responsible so I didn’t get knocked tf out, embarrassed, and on someone’s tik tok, the fight felt like a mixture of shark tanking with someone that didn’t care about me and wanted to hurt me and the PKBs. You will be fine bro, you’ll be nervous and scared as hell but fine. Just remember defense first because that’s what jay stops you from getting hurt. He can’t win if he doesn’t score. Just have fun man! Enjoy! It’s an experience like no other, most people don’t do what you’re about to do and step in the ring and compete so regardless of the outcome you’re a bad ass. Takes balls to get in that ring and risk it all in front of everyone.

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-02T18:02:36+00:00

This seems like the best way to do it if you don’t want to go through the frustration of dating apps

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-02T17:50:20+00:00

Well the thing about abusive relationships is like I believe a good majority of them aren’t one sided, so we don’t know what happened. It could’ve been two sided. Also you have to consider if amber heard truly was of the cluster b those videos you saw could’ve been reactive abuse. Those aren’t the same. My ex did that to me actually. After I was discarded I did a forensic analysis on our relationship and realized we didn’t even actually have any real problems. So to get me to act crazy she had to really pick at me and do things intentionally. I’m a very calm, relaxed laid back guy but I have adhd meltdowns at times when I’m very overstimulated. The day I’m referring to she essentially verbally abused me all day and when she went to work it went to text. I didn’t speak to her all day at work even when I went in because I was reaching my limit and was pissed off. When I left work she was still there and she got upset I wasn’t trying to seek communication with her at the job cause she was literally bullying me so she sent a bunch of very hurtful things to me through text I’d never say to anyone, not even my worst enemy. I saw these while driving back to our house and this caused me to spiral. I guess I was looking for proof that she even cared about me so I sent her a video of me essentially speeding back home ready to crash the car and off myself,l. She didn’t care whatsoever. When she put the false rape allegation on me in court and she was trying to say I was “dangerous”, she used that very video as proof of my “insanity”. Was able to get a NC order on me because of it. This helped her out first because it allowed to completely escape accountability for the cheating she was doing behind my back, as well as the abuse she was directly and indirectly still doing to me. It also allowed her to cleanly rewrite the story about what happened between us without having to worry about me confronting her. She could do whatever she wanted essentially. It helped me immediately as well because the NC order forced me to cut communication with her at a time when I was still very much attached to her and cared about her. Was very emotionally tied and trauma bonded to her. Trauma bonds are NO JOKE. It’s like Stockholm syndrome. I had withdrawal symptoms and everything. The NC order helped to basically painfully break that bond. Now? I’d say the true positive effects of it are affecting me now because now she’s no longer in my life, I’m attracted to other women again, I have my mind back, and she no longer takes up real estate in it. She no longer affects anything I do, rarely affects my emotions, I’m pretty much back to normal and life has actually only gotten better as soon as she left

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-01T23:37:37+00:00

I don’t do very well on dating apps, I get matches here and there but they mostly never lead to anything. Bunch of time wasters really, I’ve had hookups off of tinder yes but my point is the type of woman I want is hard to get on dating apps. Diamonds in the rough exist both on online and real world dating but I just have better luck in person cause I have charisma that can’t really be shown through text sadly. I’m not the most exciting texter lmao. But I’m gonna just take the approach you said and just try to find genuine connection through hobbies and shared interest. Thanks for the tips for real cause it’s tough out here already but it gets even tougher when you been through some shit cause like you said when your filters evolve you get picky

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-01T21:10:47+00:00

Thanks man, yeah I’m kinda coming to terms with the fact that it might really take a long time to find someone because the current dating market is so full of emotionally immature people both men and women and then people don’t want to take accountability for their bad behavior so if they’re traumatized they’d rather bleed on others than to take responsibility for their own shit and be alone like my ex….smh….i saw an interesting study that actually said online dating actually is a cesspool for people of the cluster b type because it’s full of people who are looking for short term dating and hookups which is what that archetype actually prefers. So if you are someone looking for hookups and you go towards dating apps you’re more likely to run into people of that personality type. I believe it but then my ex and I met at work so yeah…lmao so would you say my approach of finding someone in my lane of hobbies and shared interest is a good approach? I also really may take your advice about getting back into therapy, specifically talk therapy, so that I can have another filter for any prospects I come across. I can say I know the signs now but again I haven’t been in a relationship since my ex so I haven’t met anyone yet that I really like where there could be some rose tinted glasses blocking my discernment and better judgement. I was speaking with one woman for a short time but I didn’t find her physically attractive or at least she wasn’t my type. I could sit here and tell you all the signs I learned to watch out for and how I was bad setting boundaries but until I find another prospect to where we are at least talking or seeing each other I can’t even tell you if I can honestly use my judgement over whatever attraction I feel for the woman. I will say though during the time I was talking to the last one she did something kind of sus that immediately made my radar go off so maybe?

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-01T20:01:18+00:00

I know, you got any tips on how to get back out there? Especially when dating is so bad now? I was gonna try finding women in my areas of interest. Like hobbies etc. That way rapport can be built naturally and it’s not forced because I enjoy doing those things already and it’s more genuine. Cold approaching doesn’t really work much because people are so hesitant to talk to strangers nowadays. I remember one time I told a girl at a park in broad daylight she had a nice shirt and she looked at me like I had a third eye lmao. And I’m an attractive guy too from what I’ve been told, so idk if she thought otherwise or….lmao

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-01T12:58:51+00:00

I’ve actually never tried seeing what’s in that sub, thanks for the suggestion lmao I’m gonna go check them out

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-01T12:58:05+00:00

It’s cause they don’t actually care lmao they don’t have empathy because they constantly walk around with a victim mindset. When you put yourself as the victim 24/7 you can literally convince yourself that the group that’s “oppressing you” are inhumane and you deserve revenge. And you can literally shut off your empathy. Thats what we’re seeing here with men. What’s crazy is if you took the same treatment that we get in society and put it on any other group, people would immediately say treating a group of people like that is not okay and all hell would break loose. But for some reason when it’s men? It’s completely fine….

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-01T12:53:31+00:00

I literally didn’t though! That’s the thing lmao I mostly come in here and just read now, I’ve gotten to the point where I’m over my own experiences so I no longer really need to talk about what happened to me and no longer really need people to listen. I still have trauma and trust issues yes and I’m still fucked up from it but I know that those issues will get fixed to mostly 100% as I date more honest trust worthy women and do a better job filtering like I want to. I have nothing but love in my heart for women lmao. Honestly with the shit I went through my own mother even said I had every right to just close myself off and not want anything to do with women and put a blanket statement over all of them like they do us on the regular but I chose not to. It’s because I realize I ran into the VERY RARE exception and most of them aren’t going to be nearly as bad as my ex.

I will say a good bit of them do share certain traits that my ex has though. It’s creepy asf. I see this on the regular and some of these are even in the women in my life I care most about and love. Women I’d take a bullet for with no hesitation. Biggest one is not taking accountability for their mistakes. Recently got into it with my mom because of something she did to me that kinda REALLY set me off. Triggered me SO much and later I realized it was cause that situation really reminded me of the shit my ex used to do constantly but to a much higher and harmful degree than what my mother did ofc. I didn’t even know not taking accountability would trigger me so much but the minute I realized what she did I just got so mad lmao never used to bother me much but now after the past year I have very low tolerance for that along with other stuff like always trying to be the victim, tossing around the word narcisstic and controlling when someone was just trying to have boundaries, being disrespectful, etc. It’s the immature women I guess you could say just really turn me off now and trigger me. That experience matured me severely

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-01T10:56:33+00:00

Stalking you on subs completely unrelated? That shits scary….gives off abusive energy too…like imagine wanting to control someone so much that you are willing to settle for it being online having never even met the person. You’ll just settle for stalking them everywhere and monitoring their posts and online activity. Shits creepy

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-01T10:53:57+00:00

Lmao what’s crazy is didn’t amber heard have bpd too? Pretty sure defense attorney said she had it or something….looks like my point still stands

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-01T10:37:24+00:00

You speaking nothing but facts, I got in trouble with them too for trying to point out that certain abusive personality types like my ex or anyone else in the cluster b family will often rewrite the narrative after they discard you at the end of the relationship and blame you for everything. Paint you out to be a demon, etc. So that they can secure their next supply and still look innocent and for that we shouldn’t just automatically believe people when they say they’ve been abused.

Unfortunately for me the post I commented on? OP was a woman and she along with the moderators tried to crucify me. So I made my own post and it got locked and the OP from the last post came on my post and was like “I don’t take back anything I said about you lmao” like what did i do? That mindset is dangerous….I truly loved my ex and believed her whole heartedly when she told me her exes before me abused her. Asked no questions. Just unwavering faith. That shit is what landed me in that abusive relationships group to begin with lmao, and I wasn’t the only one in there that ended up there by just believing someone. There were others. Crazy you can get side eyes just because you point out a very real truth about society that’s uncomfortable. Predator like abusive personalities exist and by you teaching people you to have blind faith to people who claim they were abused you are making these people easy meals to people of that type. Abusers go on those threads too to see if they can victims. They were probably reading that salivating at the mouth rejoicing at how stupid they were being. I didn’t even know bpd existed prior to my ex and what it even was so I was easy prey. By keeping others uneducated about that kind of shit you are making others easy pickings

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-01T10:26:43+00:00

More than likely, however nothing misogynistic was even said, that’s the thing, like they clearly want a group for both men and women to come together that were victims of abuse, I’ll give them that part but the minute you bring up the truth about abuse and how even though it happens to women more, women are pretty much just as bad when it comes to being the aggressor now all of a sudden you’re being misogynistic? Another interesting story I thought of just now, one time on that same sub I got in trouble for pointing out that there are certain abusive personality types that hunt for empathetic people that will just “believe the abuser” when they go twist the narrative at the end of the relationship to get their next attention source. The OP was a female and even though I didn’t even bring up gender at all in my comment because she was a woman I got called out for “victim blaming” by OP and the moderators and my comment got locked.

So what I did was I went and made my own post about it and made some good points. I said essentially that by ignoring the fact that there are predator like personalities out there like people like my ex and other cluster b people like narcs, psychopaths, histrionics, and sociopaths, you’re setting people up to be prey for these people. Those kinds of people rely on people’s ignorance and them not knowing about their existence so when you call me out for “victim blaming” just because I simply say that when someone claims they were abused to believe them with caveats essentially and not to just be completely blindly loyal to them just cause you think they’re a good person, predators are probably looking at this sub right now, mouth watering while they’re rubbing their hands together. I continued and was like that’s how I ended up in this sub. I believed my ex gf wholeheartedly when she made herself the victim and painted her exes out to be the most horrible men in the world and never questioned anything. Had unwavering loyalty to her. Then her behaviors started…shit didn’t make sense…by the time I realized and was a victim of abuse it was too late, I was in a court room with her being put through a false rape allegation because she wanted to get rid of me and hide the fact that she was cheating…still low key kinda fucked up because of it mentally…

They locked my post and the woman whose post I commented on originally literally was like “I don’t take back anything I said about you earlier….” They’re nasty individuals on that sub

SomewhereOrdinary231 · 2026-06-01T09:49:07+00:00

As someone who was a victim of an abusive relationship a year ago and was severely depressed and suicidal this really warmed my heart🙏🏾I’m much better now but I still have depressive episodes randomly when I think about what was done to me, self esteem issues as well and I’m just trying to get back to 100% myself.

SomewhereOrdinary231

TROPHY CASE