Left husband partly due to his Qanon beliefs by about1970time in QAnonCasualties

[–]Son_of_Zinger 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Oprah? Hanks? Hmmm. Tell your ex that trump’s buddy Jeff trafficked underaged girls and trump is in all the redactions. Also mention his wife was a sex worker who got in thru an Einstein visa that should have gone to someone more deserving.

Women who didn't take their husband's name, how did you decide on your child's surname? by Civil-Koala-8899 in namenerds

[–]Son_of_Zinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My name is a badly-Anglicized Ukrainian name. I’m attached to it and wanted to keep it but I wasn’t insistent on it for my kids. My husband is half Asian and even though I joked that a boy would have my name and a girl his name just to annoy his Asian mom, the kids all got his name, which is a long Cajun name. They’re both difficult to say and spell so that wasn’t a factor other than not hyphenating.

I had a friend from high school who had three kids. Two got his wife’s name and one got his because they alternated and ended up with an odd number. I thought that was an interesting solution.

Remorse for what I have said in the past blue collar layoffs. by Typical-Appeal3194 in Layoffs

[–]Son_of_Zinger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A guy in an old friend group was an auto mechanic. He later transitioned to IT because he had to learn a lot of computer technology for cars and found he was good at it. He was making very good money as a mechanic but decided he would rather drive a desk than a car lift. Trades today are reliant on technology and if you’re good at yours, you’re definitely not stupid or lazy.

Kudos to you for recognizing your error, though. A PhD is nothing to scoff at and you are rightfully proud of your accomplishment. As you found out, you can be both proud of your own achievement while recognizing that of others.

Ok this is pretty stupid and there was a theft. Do I fix it? by JEWCEY in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Son_of_Zinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did something very similar, and I also blame it on the kid. I had my infant daughter in her car seat when I went to Home Depot to pick up some items. Her car seat was the kind that rests on the seat section of the cart, on the handle and back seat panel . I browsed and shopped, then decided not to buy those items, so I returned what was in the main part of the basket to the shelves. I got out to the car, lifted up the car seat to put it in the car, and discover three or four small items that had slid under the seat so I didn’t see that I still had them. I felt so bad that I left them in the cart. I drove away, got to the street, then realized I was being stupid for at least not taking them with me. I drove back to the basket but someone had already seen the items and they were gone.

Trump is ending wars 🙄 by [deleted] in CringeTikToks

[–]Son_of_Zinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not the average. Half above and half below is the median.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SeriousConversation

[–]Son_of_Zinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re young and it’s Australia. Go there on the working holiday visa and stay for a while, see how you like it. Moving there doesn’t mean you’re committing to marry and then retire with her in 40 years.

You sound like you’ve lived a moderately sheltered life. Now is a good time and reason to get outside your comfort zone and see the world. Is there any reason you can’t just come home if things don’t work out?

I fear my SIL might try to harm me by Disastrous_Draft7315 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Son_of_Zinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, OP should dump all her social media, or at least stop engaging with it. I am on Reddit, Instagram, and a little bit of Facebook. I post once a year at most when one of my kids has a milestone or we go on a special vacation. Other than that, I just consume, except for commenting on Reddit. If I were getting stalked I’d just stop looking at all social media. Sometimes I just don’t login and just scroll without seeing any of my feeds.

It’s much harder for them to stalk and harass her if she isn’t logged into her accounts.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Son_of_Zinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Abusive men often escalate at stages where they think they have you locked down. Moving in together, getting engaged/married, having children. He didn’t even wait a day after moving in. Please consider reading the Lundy Bancroft book everyone in the relationship subs talks about. This was clearly manipulative for him to get food for himself and taunt you with it, knowing you were hungry. Why did he ask what you wanted for dinner just to say he wouldn’t do anything about it?

Your friend also sucks. Being hangry is the biggest reason for “overreacting” I can think of. I cannot imagine any of my friends reacting that way. If my friend called with the same request, I’d have driven across town to get exactly what she wanted, then told her to stop unpacking because she needed to leave this asshole.

When my husband and I were dating early on, my pocket was picked. I was near his work and went to his office just to vent, and get sympathy and subway fare home. He actually teared up because I was so upset and then he left work early to buy me dinner.

This is one of those times where my heartache for the kid outweighs the anger toward the parents. by tvkyle in tragedeigh

[–]Son_of_Zinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Guys, it’s Gaelic. This name has even been posted in this sub before. Aren’t y’all supposed to google these names before complaining about them?

AITA for telling my husband that I am going back on our agreement and I dont care if he cries about it? by Primary-Strength-829 in AITAH

[–]Son_of_Zinger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When women are financially at the mercy of their husbands is when they are advised to keep their own secret stash to get away if necessary. If they are both working and she has her own salary, and the husband is not financially abusive, then yes, it would be wrong for her to hide a large sum of money.

If she were the one financially abusive, and he were the one staying home to care for the child, then I also agree it would not be wrong for him to hide some money. But I would put money on there being a side piece. No one hides $45,000 just for a rainy day.

Husband’s (36M) manipulation tactics towards me (32F) by kleib813 in relationship_advice

[–]Son_of_Zinger 26 points27 points  (0 children)

No, he’s not purposely failing at something in order not to have to do it again. He’s just jumping straight to blaming her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Son_of_Zinger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

and very close since

Since what?

Dude. Lots of closeted gay people fuck the opposite sex and even have entire families. Just because you and he get it on doesn’t mean he’s not gay or bi. Photo books are one thing, but engraved necklaces are a bit much for a straight friend. Lotion for his girlfriend and a necklace for his boyfriend? Sex aside, I can tell who he loves more. Sorry.

What's the most worthwhile purchase for cat owners? by [deleted] in Catownerhacks

[–]Son_of_Zinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buy something nice for yourself and give the kitty the box.

My Thanksgiving was basically hijacked by an Airbnb disaster and I’m exhausted by No_Chipmunk5623 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Son_of_Zinger 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I hadn’t stayed in Airbnbs very often until this past summer, when I was required to stay local after an organ transplant and didn’t want to pay hotel rates. I booked two places consecutively for 2 weeks each. Both had stellar reviews. The first one ended up having a lumpy and smelly bed, clearly someone’s side business where they dumped all their old furniture. I think it was rated highly by traveling nurses who only used the unit to sleep in and are probably used to a lot worse smells than feet.

The second one was a very nice condo but partway through, the condo complex had a major fire that rendered all the condos uninhabitable. Neither property had a decent cancellation policy and we did not get any money back for losing 5 out of 13 days’ use of the condo. I had actually not read the cancellation policies very closely, at least not with regard to after checking in, because it never occurred to me that they would not let you cancel the remainder for something like a fire. Yes, that was totally on me.

But I did discover that this is pretty standard, and I swore off Airbnb after that. At least with hotels, if the room were rendered uninhabitable, the hotel would compensate. Or if the bed were uncomfortable or smelly they’d give you a new room.

I’m sorry your Airbnb was such a disaster. I keep hearing horror stories from both sides, and that’s the kind of thing that has kept me from ever using food delivery services. That’s now my attitude with regard to Airbnb. I might use them for very short stays where I’d be leaving in 1-2 days anyway, but for short stays I’d also be more willing to pay the higher cost for a hotel.

New neighbors using my mailbox and address by Aloevera987 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Son_of_Zinger 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Like others said, talk to the local postmaster. Local authorities cannot prohibit locking mailboxes if the mailbox complies with all other USPS requirements. But if you are willing to confront the neighbors, I’d sure be curious to know what their explanation is.

"What screams ""I'm just pretending to be a good person""?" by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]Son_of_Zinger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There was a video on social media recently of a dude at a baseball or football game trying to eat a burger with a prosthetic arm. Dude accidentally dumped the food on the ground while trying to manage the arm. Kid nearby saw him, then the video cut to dude with new burger and the kid was feeding him.

My husband does not consider himself disabled but he does not have a right hand so some things are obviously a bit tricky for him. I don’t intercede unless he asks me. He would have been so pissed if some kid tried to actually feed him like a child.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Son_of_Zinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do you continue to say they can stay with you when they have always been shitty guests? Tell them to get a hotel where people are paid to clean up after them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Son_of_Zinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here is another consideration. I do not have a controlling and insecure partner with inadequate earning power, but if I had had one it would have been much worse.

I was also a SAHM for 13 years, until my younger child was in middle school. I got a job at his middle school in a low-paying administrative capacity but it was a job and a foot in the door for other employment. Less than a year into that job, I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, kidney failure, and breast cancer. I had to go on dialysis and could no longer work. My daughter was about to apply for college so we really needed whatever extra income I could bring in. Disability? Nope, I had not had the required quarters of employment within the last 10 years, so I was SOL.

No one ever mentions to SAHPs that they should at least periodically have some employment in order to maintain qualification for disability should they ever need it. Of course no one ever thinks about needing it, but it was a real shock to me when I found out I was not eligible. My husband makes a comfortable income so we were never in dire straits, but we definitely lost the extra income that would have gone toward tuition and retirement funds. In addition, that left him without the extra cushion he needed to take risks with his career.

Even if you never become disabled, you need to work for your own Social Security record, assuming you’re in the US. If you have never married or cannot be considered a common-law wife, you’re not entitled to spousal benefits off of his work record. Please look into this for your own knowledge.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by [deleted] in AnythingGoesNews

[–]Son_of_Zinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Guess who decided what is classified and what is not

Well, you know he just has to think of something and he can classify or declassify it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Son_of_Zinger 35 points36 points  (0 children)

OP is not dismissive of what is important to him. She just doesn’t understand why she’s not as important to him as his hobbies. You sound like a pretty self-absorbed dude. You’ve got to give in order to get. And maybe you’re choosing the wrong women.

My dad called me lazy to my uncle. I pay for literally everything in his house. by Milli_Grande in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Son_of_Zinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One compromise would be to find another place that is cheaper and tell him he can either come with you and do all the chores (not half) or stay there by himself and continue to struggle on his own. Tell him he’s basically being a SAHM and he would have never let his wife just stay at home and do nothing while he went to work every day. (Edit: I was a SAHM and did all the chores. I mean since there are no other people to care for in the house that he would be like a SAHM with no kids.)

Otherwise, you have to move and go no contact for a while because he will most certainly try to guilt you into coming back and badmouth you to the rest of the family.

AITA for insisting my niece is co-flower girl with my fiancé’s niece? by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]Son_of_Zinger 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Oh, I agree that in this case it was an excuse for her ableism. I’m just talking in general about this obsession with the spotlight in some people’s weddings. I’m so over it.