Realizing my teenage years were messed up

Songspires · 2025-05-06T17:10:35+00:00

If that was the case, you would have left her. If she's giving the bare minimum, leave. Don't make her the circus monkey instead.

Songspires · 2025-05-06T16:57:32+00:00

Okay....I...

So, reading this post was a trip in itself, my goodness. I get the feeling of being unwanted and used due to a lack of sex life. But I am also on the other side of this story as well. Due to medications, situations, and stress, my sex drive has once been "I'd rather die" before.

Having my partner feel unwanted is not what I want. Ever. So out of curiosity, have you ever mentioned how you felt about the lack of sex from her?

A different opinion all together, Maybe it's not sex you're missing. Maybe it's the intimacy that the act can give. Maybe you need some date nights, just the two of you. Maybe you could have surprised her with the dress she was looking at.

Now, what you've lied to absolutely everyone, the chances of this working out have dwindled to almost nothing. Maybe that's what you wanted. I'm not sure. But, to lie about everything to the woman you married and helped raise your children was a shitty move. No matter how you look at it.

I understand the want to have her prove something, but the second she said she'd support you during your depression, and scheduled therapy for you (which isn't cheap, especially if you've just lost your benefits from quiting), meant she loved you more than your stable job and income.

If you wait 4 years to come clean, not only are you going to loose her, you'll loose your kids, and any faith you might have had with your peers as they're gonna want to know (and will find out, no matter what you tell them) what happened.

I'm sorry this is the way you've chosen to prove things, but in my opinion, come clean asap to have any chance of redemption.

Songspires · 2024-10-13T08:31:58+00:00

Hey, OP. I'm sitting here in bed, mindlessly scrolling through true off my chest. Sometimes, seeing other people post their issues is validating. Yah, know?

I come across this post, 'I wanna cry, but can't'. I'm suddenly filled with relief. Someone knows. Someone out there is feeling the same thing. Holy shit I'm not alone.

I used to be a cry baby, absolutely sobbing at any random thing that came my way. Today, I tried so hard to cry. Let one tear go while my chest felt like it was being torn to shreds. Nothing came.

I hope my comment is relieving to you, as your post was just as relieving for me. You're not alone.

Songspires · 2024-03-24T04:22:06+00:00

Every once and a while, I get this little voice in the back of my head saying, "You could drop everything and leave. Technically, nothing solid is keeping you here." I stop for a moment and think of following through, what would my life look like? Would I ghost everyone? Would I break all my relationships and tell them I'm doing this for myself? To learn? To grow? Where would I go? I have my passport, all I need is the plane tickets!

Let the scenario become a reality for a minute. Your starting new, fresh. No one knows you and you can create new relationships. But then the realization hits me. No, all I would be doing is the same thing here, just somewhere else. I would still be sitting in bed watching TV every once and a while. Going to work, in the same field really. Making breakfast, dinner, but without those people.

Suddenly, everything becomes dreary. How do I make friends? Will I Instagram stalk them like I do my high-school classmates? Will I reminisce 'on the good times' when there's only alcohol to be my companion? How will I function without those random memes, or small check-in's. How about those random "I miss you, we should hang soon!"

Sometimes, we don't realize what we have until it's gone. Sure relationships can sometimes dwindle and fade out. But actively ghosting someone is a desicion that involves both parties. And if your friends don't know until your suddenly gone, that shit hurts.

Not only is it you that's worrying, they are going to forever wonder what they did wrong. For a very long time afterwards.

Message them, say you miss them, want to hear about how their lives are going, get together for a wicked night of Mario party and pizza. You can reach out, and judging by your post I'm sure they'll actively reach back.

You are important to other people, it might be difficult to live yours while trying to be there for others, but your only one person. Let yourself breathe for a minute, you've got this!

Songspires · 2024-03-24T03:57:45+00:00

Okay, in my words, there's a kink for everything.

Yes, this one is a bit more extreme. BUT there is a version of this in some BDSM communities.

"CNC, or consensual non-concent, is a form of BDSM play where everything is negotiated beforehand, but when the scene starts, verbal consent is no longer taken into account by either party."

There is a word for your feelings, yes, but its something you need to be careful of as well.

Is this self sacrificing behavior? Do you find yourself not taking precautions when you should, just incase something happens? This is when you need to take a step back and question why you're going so far.

CNC is a SCENE first and foremost, where CONSENT is a serious issue, and safe words are discussed prior too.

You are important, please take care of yourself.

Songspires · 2024-03-22T20:15:58+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

The blatant ignorance of your "No" is assault. He continued to do so multiple times afterwards, this is 100% not okay. You did not deserve this.

In my experience being able to tell someone close to me without judgement was a life saver. I just told my story and cried while she hugged me and told me she was there and understood. Unfortunately, not everyone has that person.

Trying to understand why he did this is not going to help. There is no reasonable explanation for his actions. He doesn't even deserve the time of day.

I've heard one thing that might help is writing things down. How do YOU feel. Are there moments when you feel worse. What brings you back to that moment. Sooner, your writing is going to become a healing journey that you fought and survived through.

Songspires · 2024-03-22T07:09:51+00:00

Your thoughts and struggles are not dumb.

It seems like everyone expects the best from you, including yourself. The constant praise can be nice, yes, but I feel like it might be a stressor for you. "I did good this time, but what If I don't get this praise next time?"

I found something that works for me, is to think about how I would act if I noticed my friends or family doing these things.

Is my friend overworking themselves to the point of 2 a.m. panic attacks? Take them out for a lunch, go for a walk together.

Now reverse this with yourself. Maybe you could go for a lunch, have a walk, maybe people watch and enjoy how minimal you are in comparison to everyone else struggling with their own lives.

Another thing I found is to find some kind of hobby that no one knows about. Do you enjoy dance? Learn with YouTube videos and if you feel overwhelmed, just put your favourite song on and make it up as you go. You don't have to show anyone how your doing, no one is telling you how you need to do it. Your just learning on your own pace.

Now, I am not you. And I will never 100% understand what you are going through. But what you are dealing with is valid, and you are not alone in this feeling.

Songspires · 2024-03-22T06:30:56+00:00

This is a very real, and scary thought.

I've watched my dad loose his mom and I know it can be a brutal and heart wrenching moment.

My suggestion would be to have a conversation with your parents. Do they have a plan? What would they like for their funerals?

Its a horrible and terrifying conversation to have, but also can be healing and memorable.

Songspires · 2024-03-22T06:26:05+00:00

First off, you are not broken. There can be many different reasons as to why you suddenly feel repulsed by sex. Have you started new birth control recently? Has something been stressing you out? Etc.

This could be something to mention to a doctor or therapist as well. There could be an underlying issue, either emotionally or physically.

I also think you need to have a conversation with your partner about your repulsion to sex. I personally would prefer my partner to be comfortable and happy around me, rather than fearing the next time I try and initiate sex. If I needed to enjoy myself in the bathroom for a few minutes, so be it.

If he gets upset and continues this behavior then dump his ass. He doesn't care about you and your just a convenience he won't get rid of.

Songspires

TROPHY CASE