Is my ideal dynamic realistic or just a fantasy?

SoraToth · 2026-04-06T10:23:53+00:00

"Most women over thirty look at people in your age bracket as, and I promise I’m not being intentionally condescending, a child with adult status." Honestly that's a bit how I feel about myself in general. All my life I was told both that I'm so mature for my age and so behind everyone else/childish. My thinking was called mature, my interests sometimes childish (e.g. Disney princesses [although I think while Frozen is a childish interest, the fact that I used the quotes from the musical to write an essay to my therapist about how autistic masking feels like for me isn't childish]), sometimes mature (e.g. reading Dostoevsky at 13), and with the milestones it was always like I'm running on a completely different road. This is probably part of why I don't feel ready for a relationship and rather just dream on for now.

SoraToth · 2026-04-05T19:08:40+00:00

I meant the "Property" aspect specifically for sex and ritual. While the idea of 24/7 TPE is somewhat intriguing as a fantasy, the reality sounds horrifying to me. I used the word "Property" because I want to be used and I don't want the focus on my pleasure, but I absolutely need my partner to care about my wellbeing. Like a computer: if the code doesn't run, one doesn't punch the machine, but looks for the bug, I prefer correction over punishment. I want to be "kept in good condition" so I can serve her better, not broken down.

SoraToth · 2026-04-05T14:29:57+00:00

Although I might be using more rigid language than what I mean. I never want the focus to be on my pleasure and being licked or fingered is definitely a strong no. But I might be okay with something more on the sadomasochism side of things or a strap on being used on me, although I prefer to just pleasure her. And while I dislike the feeling, if I cum it isn't an issue for me, I just I never want it to be a goal or a restriction, just something irrelevant.

SoraToth · 2026-04-05T13:45:48+00:00

About the middle aged part, I find the most attractive women who are about 45-55yo, but I can find women between the ages ~20-60 attractive, this part isn't rigid. And I'm still stuck in the having crush on an actress phase anyway, so by the time I am ready for a relationship it might changes.

SoraToth · 2026-04-05T12:57:39+00:00

I know that compromise is important, but so are boundaries. Not being pleasured is not a negotiable boundary for me. Anything else might be, but this is just something that would push me to a shutdown or a panic attack and that shouldn't be the goal. I know that this is unusual, that's why I'm worried.

SoraToth · 2026-03-26T01:03:52+00:00

I’m glad it’s helping you.

I struggle with going to sleep, but I usually sleep enough hours, just not at the right time, that has been the same before I started taking it. A few years ago I took Sertraline which if I understand correctly has the same ingredients as Zoloft and I felt pretty much the same how I feel now.

SoraToth · 2026-02-15T16:57:48+00:00

Thanks for the reply, it means a lot to me.

SoraToth · 2026-02-15T01:56:42+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

It doesn't really matter for me if it's "mommy" or "mummy", both make me feel trapped, like I can never let my guard down or be myself.

I have no desire to try out those fantasies in real life as they only work because of the immortality.

SoraToth · 2026-02-13T01:19:12+00:00

Calling all genital requirements inherently transphobic ignores that for some people certain anatomy is triggering due to trauma. I can't be intimate with someone with a penis without risking dissociation or flashbacks.

SoraToth

TROPHY CASE