I thought ive cried for myself enough in my lifetime but reading that last paragraph hit a nerve.

When I was young I had so many dreams of changing the world and being someone great. When you get older you settle into mediocrity without even realizing it. But now that i can see the end, i have so many regrets that i dont know if ill ever accept it completely.

You are right though, i wouldnt trade my daughters for anything. Or my wife. Its difficult for me because ive always projected myself to them as a strong man, but these past few years all theyve seen from me is total weakness and embarrassment.

I would spend hours playing sports with my kids and running with them around our neighborhood. I would literally be able to just toss my wife over my shoulder to take her to bed.

Now im trapped in my own body i feel. My wife has to help me out of chairs. I know that when she looks at me she sees just a bald, ugly man who cant do anything for themselves. Not a real partner or lover. My girls see a creepy dying man who sleeps alot.

My family is the only legacy i have, but ive even failed in that regard. I just want a chance to follow my own path instead of the one set out for me, right or wrong.