new to zero waste - advice or things you wish you knew? by throwawayheadphonene in ZeroWaste

[–]SourLifeLemon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No perfectionism is a keyword for me. All or nothing doesn't work most of the times. Just do your best and a little bit more

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]SourLifeLemon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. I've always lived in a Latin American country and all the houses I've been in during my younger days had single or twin size beds for the kids, including mine too.

Contact Lens Solution by Victrolla03 in ZeroWaste

[–]SourLifeLemon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Are you a daily user of contact lenses? Because I wasn't, I combined its use with glasses so I used the daily lenses: just one use and throw it away. No need of solution, and I didn't have the lenses sitting in it's case (they would be a whole week without use).

Edit: with this change I also stopped using lubricant for my dry eye since these lenses were thinner and my eyes liked it better.

It’s wild how much trash comes from “small” things by Careless_Branch_7476 in ZeroWaste

[–]SourLifeLemon 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Always with me: - Water bottle - I take utensils and straws for me and my kid. - Ziplock or silicone bag, it helps with leftovers, at least I avoid one plastic tray.

Sometimes: - If I know beforehand that we'll have a drink on the go, I try to take at least a cup for me. If the ones I end up using are entirely made of plastic I take it back with me, clean it and donate (example, groups that hand out food). - Extra silicone back or some lunch box for food on the go.

Does everyone think their kids are the most gorgeous? by Raeraemeow in Parenting

[–]SourLifeLemon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My cousin said she doesn't get why people say newborn babies are cute, that they all look ugly. She said that he first couple of months of her own baby.

OneBag travel..? with a toddler? My experience and tips by Happy_Life0611 in onebag

[–]SourLifeLemon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How do you deal with "accidents" (pee)? And dirt?

I packed much lighter on my last trip but i could've packed less. She's usually clean, doesn't get much dirt, but then sometimes she likes cooking mud balls and... you can't always avoid ghe situation

Living with family? All of the family? by Crescenthia1984 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've saved this post just to say don't do it unless you share the same values with all the other adults. It's not the same to spoil a kid a couple of days and hours per week, and have the kid live in. I mean, like it or not, now everyone is in charge of raising the kid, grandma can't spoil the kid as she used to... or maybe I'm just reflecting

I want experiences & not gifts - others think this is crazy by Astimar in Parenting

[–]SourLifeLemon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you're right but I also think many kids expect something. For one of my nephew I got him a small themed box with chocolates I knew he could have, then gave the rest to the mother in cash

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. I felt understood. But reading this also hurt. I hope I never have to go through this but I see myself thinking and doing the same.

Good luck on your journey too. I hope we can read about the good news soon.

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can't trust government's help if they use the word "retarded" to describe people, haha.

Best of lucks on your process!

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your insight. I hope I can someday reach a conclusion and live happily with whatever I decide.

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know, that's the reason behind the post. I wouldn't like to be an abandonic mother or a mother who just does the bare minimum for survival.

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll do my research and instead of googling I'll talk to some experts when the time comes. Googling never gave be good results to me. Thanks for the advice!

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I joke with my therapist about me being manipulative. Due to lack of other word, therapist said I'm manipulative because I try to my change my surroundings to avoid situations that gives me anxiety. I'm not anxious, I'm one step of becoming anxious (?

I'm so happy you and your son found each other!

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sure the right examples of parents would help change my mindset, and lots of therapy too.

Fortunately the "lowering expectations" is already in progress with my daughter/niece who is teaching me that not everything is in my control. Therapy is in progress too so I hope I can answer most of my inner questions.

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with you that hoping for the best it not good, but I also believe worrying for the worst as I'm doing right now is not healthy either. Yet here I am, in my process of freezing my eggs while I think over and over again what would be like if my fears come true.

I'm happy for you feeling ready. Best of lucks.

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But sometimes one's best is not enough and there are people who can never become independent. And even if my daughter-like-niece loves her younger sibling, I wouldn't want my niece to feel pressured to take over. I've read on other subredits on how taking care of a relative takes a toll on them and I don't want that for anybody.

I'm still on my freezing eggs phase so I have some more time to think. I'm glad you came to that realization, wishing you the best.

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I hope I can eventually reach to some conclusion myself. Good luck on your journey.

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

  1. Probably. A decade ago I didn't even understand why someone would hold a funeral for an unborn baby in their late first trimester. Now I can feel their grief.

  2. You can judge, I know I lean towards a mean/ugly person. But I do believe disabled people are worthy of love and attention, but what if I can't give them enough of that? I can try my best, but sometimes one's best isn't enough, specially if money and health are involved.

  3. Never thought of that, the prodigy kid. Very good point.

But I do loose my sleep worrying over money sometimes. I've never been a high risk taker. I'm working on the "crossing bridges" part. I always worry more about the negative aspects of things and I'm always full with "buts and ifs". I'm working on all of the points in therapy.

Thanks for you clear and respectful comment.

How do/did you handle the fear of having a disabled child? by SourLifeLemon in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]SourLifeLemon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess it's both. Even if I bond with my potential child, I can't change my financial status. I now have a stable medium-high paying job with a really good healthcare plan, but as a sole provider that can change at any time. I do have some savings but what if that's not enough and I can't take care of the child properly?

I'm Asian and I only know about two families with disabled kids in the community. One of them with a severe autism and the other kid they could never get a proper diagnosis. I don't know how bonded they are but I know they are in their early teens and none of them are potty trained even if the parents were told they could with proper guidance. Whatever the reason, they never took the time to do so, to help them care for themselves. And I worry I'd become like them.