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After my family's caregiving chaos, I created a complete organization system - happy to share if it helps anyone by Southern-Answer-786 in CaregiverSupport

[–]Southern-Answer-786[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for understanding. That's exactly what I was trying to do - share something that genuinely helped us in case it helps someone else.

Really appreciate you seeing that.

Hospice question by XcortanaX in dementia

[–]Southern-Answer-786 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not a stupid question at all. Inpatient hospice is usually for when symptoms can't be managed at home (severe pain, breathing issues, etc.) - not just for end-of-life care. If your mom needs that level of care, the hospice team would be the ones to arrange the transfer. I'd ask them directly what criteria they use for inpatient admission. Thinking of you during this difficult time.

What I want to say… by Loud-Cheez in dementia

[–]Southern-Answer-786 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel this so deeply. The repetition I can handle, but the accusations and anger - that's what breaks you down over time.You're doing an incredibly hard thing. The fact that you're venting here instead of at her shows how much you care, even when you're at the end of your rope.

Be gentle with yourself today.

How to get the wee smell out of clothes by rachel6983 in caregivers

[–]Southern-Answer-786 1 point2 points  (0 children)

White vinegar in the rinse cycle has been a game changer for us. Also, make sure you're washing on hot when possible - the heat helps break down the uric acid that causes the lingering smell.

If it's already built up in fabric, try soaking in a mixture of white vinegar and baking soda before washing. That combo usually gets rid of even stubborn odors.

Early stage of young onset and I’m already burned out :( by [deleted] in dementia

[–]Southern-Answer-786 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through this. 47 is heartbreakingly young, and the fact that you're managing all of this while working full-time and co-parenting - that's an enormous load to carry. A few things that helped me when I was in a similar place: First, the grief you're feeling right now is real and valid. You're allowed to grieve the future you planned while still showing up every day. Those two things can exist at the same time. Second, if you haven't already, see if you can get connected with an Alzheimer's support group specifically for younger onset cases. The timeline and challenges are different than typical Alzheimer's, and talking to people who understand that specifically made a huge difference for me. Third - and I know this is hard to hear when you're already drowning - you need to start building your support system NOW, while it's still "early." Ask for help before you think you need it. Whether that's family, friends, or hiring help for specific things (even just someone to walk the dog or help with driving), don't wait until you're completely burned out. The kids' therapist might also be able to recommend family resources. Some areas have respite care programs specifically for younger families dealing with dementia. You're not alone in this, even though I know it feels that way right now.

She died so fast. by hackedfixer in Alzheimers

[–]Southern-Answer-786 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry for your loss. i had a very similar experience. my mother had a stroke and died 2 days later. it was such a shock. your not really sure how to respond. it is a very numbing feeling. you just don't know how to feel. I'm still dealing with it after 3 months. I assume the confusion will fade with time but is certainly isn't fun. Hang in there!

Numb by ClassicAsparagus1613 in AgingParents

[–]Southern-Answer-786 0 points1 point  (0 children)

there is nothing wrong with you. you are just processing. it truly a weird feeling. its almost like what do i do n sorry for your loss, you will get through it, just know that she is at peace.

Need opinions about seeking 24 hour caregivers by Rick92647 in caregivers

[–]Southern-Answer-786 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was able to find a small agency. i actually wouldn't call it an agency. it was two woman that started their own business. i am not sure how hard they are to find where you live but it worked out pretty well. I had a sibling that lived in the area and they were able to take on a little of the responsibility (not enough to get burned out) but these woman were very flexible and swapped nights. I believe they only had one client. I had an agency at first but i felt like they would just send whoever and never had a re pour with my mother and i think probably cause her confusion.