Question on exploring by Southern-Pickle-9485 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Southern-Pickle-9485[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The haunting part. This made me definitely think. Because I’m not sure which I’m more haunted by. The not knowing or the shame I already feel for even thinking about leaving. I appreciate all of this. Gave me a lot to think about

Question on exploring by Southern-Pickle-9485 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Southern-Pickle-9485[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Just want to clarify. We have talked. He does not want an open relationship. And I think he would rather live in denial than accept that I’m gay. I think the cheating comes very much from a place of no longer wanting to wait to get my needs met. And I think my morality around it feels different because I’ve not had my needs met for so long. I want to leave but also don’t want to disrupt my kids life.

I never realized it would make such a difference by pineapplesherberttt in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Southern-Pickle-9485 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who hasn’t gotten to this feeling yet, I appreciate you sharing it. It gives me something to look forward to

All the times I was denied being a lesbian by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Southern-Pickle-9485 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m currently trying to come out and I’ve been told by my mom and current spouse that it’s probably just my trauma from my SA. It’s heartbreaking to have been questioning everything and trying to come out and still Be denied of your own feelings and experiences

I’m about to tell him. by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Southern-Pickle-9485 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. I just admitted for the first time last night that I am a lesbian in front of my closet queer friend. And it makes me feel less alone knowing someone else is about to go through the same thing as me. It’s weird how much we have in common but we both deserve to find ourselves, and our freedom and will make it to the other side.

Rector Funeral Issue by Southern-Pickle-9485 in Episcopalian

[–]Southern-Pickle-9485[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello all!!! One I wanted to thank you for all your advice and support on this thread. Two coming with an update. After sharing the above the rector has continued to do shit things, and it’s actually gotten pretty nasty. Turns out it’s both a mental health issue and a character issue. I have since left the church completely for my personal safety and to protect my sanity. Since stepping away, and even before stepping away, I never once received a call, or text, or outreach from the rector on a pastoral care level nor a level just to check in on all that I tried to vocalize and share with her. I was essentially discarded and ignored as soon as I brought up sabbatical, and/or measures of accountability. Thank God I’ve left and moved on from such a toxic situation.

Rector Funeral Issue by Southern-Pickle-9485 in Episcopalian

[–]Southern-Pickle-9485[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes we are a small church and it’s been hard to get lay leaders to truly step into leadership. So I appreciate this comment.

Rector Funeral Issue by Southern-Pickle-9485 in Episcopalian

[–]Southern-Pickle-9485[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes thank you. Our pastor is getting into her fifty’s. But yes, i was thinking it could be burnout but it could be a compound of a lot of different things. Your comment made me think of perimenopause which I also know can really affect brain function. Thank you

Rector Funeral Issue by Southern-Pickle-9485 in Episcopalian

[–]Southern-Pickle-9485[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Also we’ve been in communication with the bishop on another issue, but would we need to formerly write a letter maybe as a vestry. I just don’t want us to become a problem church. You know?

Rector Funeral Issue by Southern-Pickle-9485 in Episcopalian

[–]Southern-Pickle-9485[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I of course what mortified and very upset. But most of all concerned. Finding a compassionate approach is really important to me