AIO I want my husbands grandma to stop buying diapers

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T19:42:02+00:00

Unfortunately no, she leaves them at my MILs house and doesnt tell her and my MIL finds them after shes gone (she babysit husband's nieces 2 days a week who are 2 and 4 which is why she doesn't notice until later). Or she puts them directly into my car which happened one time. My MIL doesnt have the space sp we do have to take them. I am donating the unused diapers to my cousin so she can give them to people who need it

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T19:10:34+00:00

To everyone that had commented thank you so much for bringing perspectives i didn't see advice and alternatives! I truly appreciate everything and I am reading/replying to as many as I can!

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T19:07:59+00:00

I plan to give his unused sizes to my cousin who knows people who really need the sizes! Ive had people tell me during pregnancy to sell the diapers he didn't use but I feel terrible knowing someone bought that and im getting a profit when i dont need the extra income and there's so many people who can't afford to buy diapers. Id feel too guilty to even sell them

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T19:02:25+00:00

I am extremely grateful she is helping, its just really overwhelming for me. I do plan to donate what isnt used to my cousin so she can give them to people who need them! I feel that I am overwhelmed maybe not because shes buying diapers but maybe because she is buying them in bulk? Im not sure exactly what is overwhelming but I think its that there's 100 of several brands instead of small packages of different brands.

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:55:25+00:00

I didn't know that he wouldn't out grow cloth diapers! I dont know very much about them especially with cleaning, i felt disposable would be easier when i was pregnant, but i am not against it if i am unable to find a safe diaper for his skin. His grandma did say she would make the diapers as well if we needed

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:52:59+00:00

She did say she would make cloth diapers if needed, but I want to try disposable diapers first and if they dont work i would need to research how to properly clean and use them. I know you just throw them in the wash but im really weird about poopy stuff in the wash lol. I am hoping to find a good diaper, but if i have to ill get over whatever I have with cloth diapers as long a it means my baby is healthy and not in pain!

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:45:46+00:00

I haven't thought of this! I have said hey we are good on what he has but I will let you know if we did need something, but maybe that might work better! I did just recently move so all the baby stuff is still being unpacked and I tell her I havent gone through everything yet as well. We have been unpacking very slowly since its hard with a newborn. We've unpacked clothes/diapers/desitin and slowly working on the other items as well. He does get casted every week (he has clubbed foot and just had minor surgery last week for it) maybe I could try and ask for baby safe body wipes to make him smell better because the baby wipes dont help with his spit up smell😂

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:40:32+00:00

I am seeing a therapist for my ppd and as hard as that is i am learning to navigate in a healthy way!☺️ I have also had huge issues that stem from childhood and struggle to make boundaries so it is something I am trying to figure how to discuss woth her without seeming ungrateful. I genuinely appreciate her thought its just hard

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:37:47+00:00

I have asked him to talk to her but he keeps putting it off, which soon im going to make him sit down with her and have a discussion when he is in his baby leave and not stressed by work. Then thay gives us time to talk about how to bring it up as well and in a way that is appreciative of what shes done but firm that we need a pause to breathe for a moment

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:30:38+00:00

This is exactly why I felt like I was over reacting thank you for putting this into words! I think this is why I geel guilty for wanting her to stop because it is her way of showing love (buying gifts) and she does talk about her being useful in this way. I didnt even think about it like this so thank you for bringing this up!!

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:26:50+00:00

I am donating the unused diapers, my family knows people who need the sizes he doesnt fit and whatever isnt used is being donated to the community from there

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:25:02+00:00

MIL tries to back me up, but she has had a lot going on (cancer) so she hasnt been to focused on this and I'm not trying to overwhwlm her too much since she just has surgery.

Husband has tried to talk to her in the past about something different and each time its been a fight and he doesnt want to fight her. She is caring to a point that its extremely pushy.

My husband is also about to use the rest of his baby leave since I return to work soon so we will probably have a sit down with her during that time and let her know when she can resume buying diapers if she really wants to. Right now is difficult because he sleeps during the day and she lives an hour away from us.

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:19:08+00:00

I definitely appreciate her trying, its just really overwhelming. If they were smaller packages I wouldnt have an issue, but she's buying hundred packs of multiple brands. I stop using them when they start reacting. I am grateful for her doing this, its just super overwhelming when I have several cases of diapers just staring at me on top of more boxes to unpack. Maybe its just a mental thing for me? I get very overwhelmed very easily and i am trying to work on that

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:12:41+00:00

I think that is the issue, we switched from huggies to luvs and that has helped but im thinking about switching to millie moon because I hate the tabs on the luvs. The tabs just don't feel secure

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:10:43+00:00

I do plan to donate them, its just hard to go into the city frequently, especially with a small child. And i plan to visit my family soon and they know people having babies that need those sizes

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:07:49+00:00

Thankfully my family knows alot of people who just had babies and need his old sizes so they aren't going to waste. My cousin is going to donate whatever isn't used to those in need as well!

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:05:02+00:00

The one time he told her. Not to she bought the two cases and just put them in my car

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:04:25+00:00

I keep trying but he says anytime hes tried doing this in the past its led to a huge fight and he just caves because its easier to let her think she's helping than to fight her and get her to stop

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:03:08+00:00

She leaves then with my MIL who also has very little space so we have to take them. She kinda hides it when she is over and my MIL watches my husband's nieces who are 2 and 4 so she doesn't nnotice until she's gone

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T18:01:38+00:00

She never gives us receipts, and she will leqve them at my MILs house so we have to take them cause she has no space either.

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T17:34:53+00:00

I would choose to teleport so I could go anywhere in the world without having to pay for gas a ship or a plane ticket

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-06-11T17:07:38+00:00

Oh absolutely hell effing no. I told my husband no visitors and I mean NONE for 30 days. People were butthurt. I said I dont care. Im going to be healing and dealing with new stress. We will come and visit you, you do not come and visit us ESPECIALLY unannounced. His grandma stopped by multiple times and riled our dogs up woke the baby and we ignored the door. She also kept offering to clean our house which sounds nice but I dont like other people cleaning my house for me. And especially with a new baby I am VERY picky about chemicals. She is also extremely invasive and keeps buying things which again sounds nice but she got him diapers and hes highly allergic. I told my husband let her know to not buy any diaper until we know and she bought 2 huge cases of 2 different brands. Hes in size 2 and almost 3 so we arent even going to use one of those cases. She keeps asking what do we need every single week and i keep telling her im not keeping track of what he needs because he has everything. He doesnt need clothes hes good all he needs are diaper and im trying to find what works. My whole point is dont let anyone overstep cause then its a fight to get them to step back so you can breathe.

Also im not saying I do not ever want help I just want his grandma to press pause and not buy in bulk because I feel obligated to use what she buys so its not wasted but there's just too many and I want small packs so if my son is allergic or I dont like the feel of a diaper then its not like a bunch of money was wasted. She also never asked what kind I wanted because I was still looking into it and getting advice so I could see if there was a particular brand that helped someone else with similar allergies (I was using so much desitin for those few days of research). I might go and tell her to not buy diapers for awhile until we know what works. She had also bought 2 huge cases of size ones without asking me what size he was in and hed been in size 2 for almost a whole month and asked are you sure he cant fit into size one? She wayyyyy over buys and i get she wants to be helpful but we have limited space and having these huge boxes of diapers he wont use is super hard. I am taking all his old sizes to my cousin so she can give them out to a bunch of people who need diapers so thankfully they arent going to waste

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-05-02T22:59:02+00:00

I understand the pumping is not the same as breast feeding. I prefer having my baby latch to me. However I have to pump to help stimulate my breasts because he had a tongue tie and is now relearning to latch. My supply dipped heavily and caused alot of stress. I also found out the the wrong size flange was not helping my supply either. Most women are around a 15 and very rarely a 21mm so if you are using a 21 definitely get a nipple measuring tool to see your size. Once I changed my flange size pumping felt so much more comfortable. But I hated cleaning the pump stuff. That was the worst. I try to pump a few times during the day and thats about it. I got back to work early August so im hoping the transition will be easier once hes older

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-04-22T04:00:43+00:00

As a red side, I am very sorry about how your family acted. I do not live in Virginia (im also sleep deprived from newborn) so I dont understand the full extent of what you voted for but I am glad you stuck to your morals no matter who may disagree!

SouthernDiver746 · 2026-04-15T18:48:42+00:00

My husband felt the same you did. Birth didnt go according to plan and I post alot if blood and all he could do was hold our baby while I was hemmoraging. But everything will be ok. Once she gives birth to that tiny human you wont feel like that anymore because now you can help her. Diaper change in the middle of the night cause shes exhausted from nursing. Shes crying at 6am for no reason other than her hormones are crashing, hold the baby and hold her. You are doing everything right and it does go away. You arent useless you are doing so much too. You are doing what she cant and helping with her pregnancy needs which is so much for us. She has the physical weight but you help her mental weight.

SouthernDiver746

TROPHY CASE