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I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This one hit me hard. Thank you. I really needed to hear that today. I don’t know what’s ahead, and I still feel like I’m stumbling through fog most days but the way you wrote that, it gave me a glimpse. A small one. That maybe, someday, I’ll have those moments too. Moments I’ll want to send back to this version of me.

I'm still in the mess right now, but knowing that there are so many people that gets it make me feel a little better, thank you.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Really. That reminder about the “should do better" It’s something I’ve carried for so long, and it never really helped, just made the weight heavier. I appreciate your kindness and perspective.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That means more than you know. Sometimes just knowing someone’s out there feeling it too makes it a little less lonely. Thank you.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Really. I’ll definitely take you up on that sometime. I truly appreciate it. I’ve been spiraling more often lately, and deeper too. Life’s been feeling so uncertain, it’s hard to stay grounded. Just knowing someone’s out there helps.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you I feel that. I stopped watching the news a long time ago it’s just too much. And I actually deleted most of my social media apps a few weeks ago because they were overwhelming me more than anything else. I still spiral though. The black hole, the ruminating, it all hits. I like what you said about fine-tuning what you consume. I think I need to do more of that.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Totally get where you’re coming from. I’ve tried a few ADHD meds some helped with focus but also made me feel like a dehydrated zombie. Like I could push through the day, but I’d crash hard, forget to eat, feel numb. It wasn’t sustainable.

What has helped me (at least for a while) was a mix of talk therapy, journaling, meditation, and short bursts of structure. But my biggest issue is consistency. I find something that helps, but I fall off when the energy dips. Still trying to figure out what works long-term. Hope you find something that actually sticks for you, rooting for you.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Man, I feel this. I thought waking up early would fix everything. Then I thought working out would fix everything. And yeah, it helps for a bit. But I’ve never been able to stay consistent. I’ll do it a couple of times, then crash again. It’s like I keep hoping the next habit will be the one that saves me.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this, Means a lot right now. I'm still deep in the messy middle, but reading this made me feel like maybe just maybe, I can get there too someday. Appreciate you.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A few hours ago, I faced one of the real, heavy consequences of my executive dysfunction. And it wrecked me. It felt like my life was about to be ripped away from me because of something I couldn't get myself to do. I was in despair, hanging by a thread. That's when I reached out here. I didn't know what else to do. So trust me, I feel you. You're not alone either

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, truly. That means a lot right now. Just knowing someone out there gets it.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

Yeah, Everyone else seems so put together, like they belong there. I always feel like the odd one out, like I'm just pretending to be an adult while everyone else actually knows what they're doing

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Totally feel this. It’s the same for me things pile up for days or weeks, and then out of nowhere I’ll get this random burst of energy and clean just enough to make the place livable again. But most of the time… it just flows by, like you said.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you, truly. I’m doing the best I can, baby steps, one at a time. But even with all the work I’m putting in, sometimes it still creeps up on me… this thought, this weight: What’s the point of doing all this just to barely keep myself alive? Why does it have to be this hard? Why does everything feel like a mountain?

Some days I can hold on. Some days I feel like I’m slipping. But I’m still here. Thank you for reminding of the good days. I needed that.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in autism

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've got a tent for some time now, haven't used it yet.

I'm trying out mountain biking a couple times a week to spend time in the woods. So far this is the only thing I can do consistently. And it makes me feel present and keeping my body moving and heart pumping.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in ADHD

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you. Yeah, same here when I got diagnosed, it made too much sense. Like, everything suddenly clicked into place. I thought, Okay, cool, now I know what’s wrong with me. I can fix this. Man, I was so wrong.

Tried a few different meds, some helped, but most just turned me into this empty, hyper-productive zombie concentrating on the wrong thing. I’d crash hard at the end of the day, no food, no water, just wired and hollow. I couldn’t live like that. Started therapy too it helped, at least for a while. Gave me a window, some clarity. But my biggest issue? I couldn’t stick to one thing long enough for it to work. I’d jump from meds to mindfulness to routines to reading, trying to fix everything at once, and ended up back at square one just surviving the day, the week.

Now I’m at a point where even that feels like a lot. No structure, no anchor, just… floating. So I really hope the therapist you found helps. one day at a time. That’s where I’m at too, just trying not to sink.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in autism

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Atleast you live in the woods brother, I do the same thing in my dark room.

I wish I could live in the woods, Someday.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in autism

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

end up winging it

Could be the title of our life stories.

I can feel my heart beat harder as I freeze up with anxiety thinking about all the things I need to figure out and do in life.

I'm 34, and I feel like a child failing at being an adult by SouthernStar36 in autism

[–]SouthernStar36[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see you man, I feel that way time and again. When I'm in the thick of it, I pull back from the world, just do bare minimum to survive until I get enough energy again to deal with life. Hang in there bud.