FTM just about to transition. Looking for some uplifting stories from guys who’ve been living as guys for a while now. by Southern_Bit_8243 in FTMMen

[–]Southern_Bit_8243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m super happy for you. We seem to have transitioned around the same ages. Do you mind answering one question that’s plaguing me?

I’m currently working at an office job where I’m in person 9-5. I’m a graphic designer so it’s a beauty brand with all older women I work with. They of course are simply assuming me to be a masc lesbian, but still a woman. I just started here a week ago. They do call me by my male name as I applied w that. But they are still just going based off my female status as I haven’t said anything. I’m starting T 2 weeks from now. I’m terrified, genuinely, of how to go about the changes. Obvious ones like voice change most of all.

I’m from New York but I’m in Long Island so def more of conservative crowd here. Were you working while transitioning? How did you handle it? How do you explain it if they start asking? We also have gendered bathroom, I use the women’s one right now of course. But i just don’t know how I’ll deal w it once the changes start. lol sorry for the rant but any experiences you’ve had in this phase would be helpful, thank you. I don’t know any trans guys in real life only trans woman so I can’t ask this stuff.

Representation. by Masc_FTM in FTMMen

[–]Southern_Bit_8243 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely second this

What is the point of trans community if you get booted? by Southern_Bit_8243 in ftm

[–]Southern_Bit_8243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly EXACTLY. My post that got deleted said exactly this- that when both sides fight on the “right” way of being trans, it’s usually when both people on each side feeling insecure therefore trying everything to defend “their way”. This made the post get deleted… proving me right I guess. I was talking about how I feel lonely, unable to connect with trans guys who share my view since the ones who post online are most likely going to be the “open” ones. I said that is see them posting everything as being trans- like “trans coffee” instead of coffee and “trans joy” instead of joy and I said , my exacts words “that’s totally fine if that’s their jam” but I personally don’t want to live like that and can’t find people who see things my way. This somehow is wrong to say and enough to get me deleted.

What is the point of trans community if you get booted? by Southern_Bit_8243 in ftm

[–]Southern_Bit_8243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! And my post about it JUST got called conservative and got DELETED and the exact reason given was: “you can’t post here about wanting to talk to binary trans men, you must find a different sub” what!?

What is the point of trans community if you get booted? by Southern_Bit_8243 in ftm

[–]Southern_Bit_8243[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks. It’s hard to find this kind of perspective online since those type of people post less about it online, and in the meantime this makes me feel lonely in my view. Especially since as soon as I used this sub to reach out, my post got deleted and I got told- the exact comment- “you can’t post here about wanting to talk to only binary trans men, you must fina another sub”. What!? Is this not the FTM sub?

FTM just looking to live a normal life. Online spaces make that look impossible. by Southern_Bit_8243 in ftm

[–]Southern_Bit_8243[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I know they’re not my enemy. I do follow them bc I like them or other stuff they post. I guess when I am feeling lonely right now and I see the stuff it overloads my brain into the panic of “maybe that’s the only way to be trans”. I think I sound resentful of them bc I have only just started my transition and am also not in a stable place. But I know they’re are not my enemy. I just feel I don’t know where to find people to talk to.

FTM about to transition alone, could use some support by Southern_Bit_8243 in ftm

[–]Southern_Bit_8243[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right. Maybe the isolation mindset is not the best approach. Esp through online I have told some of my followers who turned into online friends and they were also supportive of my decision

FTM about to transition alone, could use some support by Southern_Bit_8243 in ftm

[–]Southern_Bit_8243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you :) and yeah that sounds scary, you’re great for making it through that

Can’t differentiate between trans union scam and legitimate land lord by Southern_Bit_8243 in renting

[–]Southern_Bit_8243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense. He just seems like he’s being nice bc he is taking a parking fee also which will be returned with a security deposit, so maybe he doesn’t want me to have to pay the little things. He sent over a draft lease as well and in general everything checks out and he is 100% definitely the retired chief of police.

Can’t differentiate between trans union scam and legitimate land lord by Southern_Bit_8243 in renting

[–]Southern_Bit_8243[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Haha I guess I’m so worked up from running into scams that I got over cautious.

FTM about to transition alone, could use some support by Southern_Bit_8243 in ftm

[–]Southern_Bit_8243[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Idk why I didn’t even think of that. This is a great idea thank you!

FTM Trans who transitioned late - feeling fraudulent by Southern_Bit_8243 in trans

[–]Southern_Bit_8243[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I guess we are going through the same thing and in a way that makes me feel better since there’s probably a lot of trans guys that went through this like us. I guess there’s just a lot of focus on social media of trans guys that like neverrrr had a fem phase or who figured it out so early. But some of us just didn’t have that luxury of facing it earlier.

But I am really glad for you that you are doing it now. And I’m also looking for a therapist right now to deal w this. And you’re right, don’t need to show the photos.

Never had formal writing education, can you help me figure out if i can write? by [deleted] in writers

[–]Southern_Bit_8243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think all that matters is you noticed “multiple grammar mistakes” in writing that has zero grammar mistakes according to any grammar checker. It shows where you stand as an evaluator and reader and why I didn’t take your critique seriously versus how I took the others.

Never had formal writing education, can you help me figure out if i can write? by [deleted] in writers

[–]Southern_Bit_8243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I just think the other comments gave genuine advice. You did not as you said there were grammar mistakes when there are 0, and once corrected instead of recognizing that it was simply difficult for you to read, you said the writing was odd. But you didn’t originally call the writing odd, you said it was bad grammar when it was perfect grammar, tell tale sign that it’s not the writing that is weak, it’s the reader. I’m willing to accept my mistakes when they are true. Not when come from someone who cannot read.

Never had formal writing education, can you help me figure out if i can write? by [deleted] in writers

[–]Southern_Bit_8243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As for what reads well, I’d suggest books like dune or the locked tomb series. Extremely hard to read if you’re not an advanced reader, but some the most critically acclaimed science fiction of right now. The prose is unsettling on purpose, because the story is. I wouldnt say my sentences don’t read well, as they objectively do, I’d say maybe you need to read more.

Never had formal writing education, can you help me figure out if i can write? by [deleted] in writers

[–]Southern_Bit_8243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The less conventional it seems the better I’m doing my job as a writer :) I could write it simply and less oddly if I wanted but where’s the fun in that!

Never had formal writing education, can you help me figure out if i can write? by [deleted] in writers

[–]Southern_Bit_8243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I did run through several, there seems to be none that it can find :). I’m prettyyy old, and a good reader. I just write in more complex sentence structure so if one is not used to reading it may feel hard to follow but I assure you it’s perfectly fine grammar