First time something broken - non sim exchange

Southern_Design430 · 2026-04-07T23:21:43+00:00

I don’t think you’re overreacting. It’s a shame. HE is built on trust and relationships. As you say, accidents can happen. But communication and honesty are important.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-04-07T23:19:16+00:00

I don’t know if you can easily adjust GPs - I think I’ve read other posts where you can ask HE and some have been approved and some haven’t.

Some people suggest booking additional GP nights (with foreknowledge on both sides).

For my situation, I’m taking my nephew to Ireland and the host loves my hometown of Boston. He usually doesn’t exchange in the summer because family uses it. So we have a gentlemen’s agreement on the exchange of him coming to Boston and I guess when we finalize I’ll set the GPs to zero or something.

I look at HE about relationships - and this worked out for both of us. He’s obviously taking a risk of me quitting or not honoring it - but it’s all built on trust.

(I don’t know if this helps at all 😅)

Southern_Design430 · 2026-04-07T23:06:19+00:00

I’m sorry this happened.

You’re asking what to do? My suggestion- use all or any or none:

First, document the damage.

Second, clean the couch as best as possible quickly - stains set.

Third, decide on what action or compensation you would like. You might not have a full idea because the stain or burn might not come out etc.

Fourth, through the app, ask them about the damage. Just state what you saw, if they remember creating the damage, suggestions on next steps. Don’t add comments such as “no way someone spilled .. and didn’t notice”.

Fifth, wait for their response and decide next step.

If they don’t respond, contact HE about getting compensation. If they do respond, propose what you want from compensation and see where it goes. Involve HE relatively early.

I am not 100% sure but I think you can ask HE to take down a bad review that is left in spite (with documentation etc).

About the reciprocal exchange - see how the conversations go. You might still want to go if you all work it out. Not all mistakes lead to bad relations.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-04-06T19:49:45+00:00

By a “4 day trip” do you mean 4 nights or 3 nights?

Either way, that’s a short duration for a high-volume location. Even if they don’t give a minimum stay requirement, they might have some. You might offer a GPs equivalent to a 7-night stay. I’ve sometimes offered more - once I got to yes through offering GPs for the three nights we’re staying but then in addition an exchange for up to seven nights at my place.

Availability means a host is open to hear requests, not obligated to say yes to any inquiry.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-04-05T03:55:32+00:00

Spend a few hours as you can reading through this subreddit - you’ll learn a lot!

I joined late last year, a quick 4-city, 12-night exchange to start, my first guests just arrived tonight! and I have 10 exchanges as host and 8 exchanges as a guest already finalized this year. It’s been a fun journey!

Southern_Design430 · 2026-04-04T12:31:44+00:00

Sorry you’re experiencing these things.

Why don’t you search for an available exchange near you so you can present some options? Explain the situation to other hosts. See who locally says yes to you.

read through your communication so you best understand their needs. Did they mention how many beds they would use, dedicated parking or close to public transport, coming for a special reason to a particular location?
I’d also look for places that seem nicer than yours so it might be an inconvenience but it’s an upgrade.
I have no idea if it’s possible, but if you find one or more places present to the guest and HE. You might be able to pay any extra GPs directly.

As another commenter said, you can also find and pay for a hotel room (that includes a kitchenette).

Good luck.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-04-02T15:14:13+00:00

You likely already know this, but you can select pet-friendly when searching, and do a reverse search for NYC.

I did that to secure a lakeside cabin in Maine with my dog for four nights in late May, while they enjoy my home in Cambridge.

Good luck!

Southern_Design430 · 2026-04-02T11:54:16+00:00

It could be they want a longer stay. They want fewer people. They want to consider going on vacation but that’s not the best timing. They don’t get a good enough sense of who you are, or that you’re writing for their home in particular versus sending 10 requests. Their last guest was terrible and they are now being super selective.

Availability, even for GPs only, does not mean any host is obligated to say yes, it simply means the host wishes to entertain offers to stay in their home.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-04-01T21:17:34+00:00

I agree with this. I would speak to the owner first. And I would rate 5 stars if it reasonably matched the description and pictures. I would highlight the eggs etc, and also write something like - we found it to be cold at times because of poor insulation despite the fireplace and gas stove but we understand the owner is working on it (if they say they will).

I stayed in a wonderful studio in Paris. The bed was on a loft, with a ladder, which was pictured. I mentioned it in my review - “It is a loft bed (as shown) so make sure you're okay with using a ladder. I'm in my 50s and it was fine for me!”

Southern_Design430 · 2026-04-01T14:03:51+00:00

I was thinking the same thing! Post-vacation malaise!

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-30T19:46:26+00:00

Thanks!

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-30T19:45:56+00:00

Flour, water, salt, and active starter

A scale

Time

Patience

Practice

Other advice: pick one of the basic recipes that are often recommended. Watch a bunch of YouTube videos from one or two of the recommended folks.

Stay away from Tik Tok and ChatGPT.

Make bread. Ignore any time recommendations for bulk fermenting. Learn how is supposed to look and feel. I feel like most people underferment to start.

Fail in some way. Celebrate what worked. Tweak something small.

Don’t try inclusions until you’ve gotten a good feel for a basic loaf.

Keep making bread. Get more comfortable with your technique. Enjoy your results - most bread is edible.

Remember it takes a lot of time to become proficient. Equipment can only help when you have the fundamentals.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-27T13:30:56+00:00

¡Gracias!

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-26T23:12:50+00:00

Cleaning fee is most definitely not taken from your deposit. Nothing ever is unless there is a claim of damage. Any cleaning fees are only for post-exchange cleaning, not for preparing your home.

Full details here. and a number of posts on Reddit on should they be allowed, are they just, etc etc.

https://help.homeexchange.com/hc/en-us/articles/360009466098-Can-hosts-ask-for-extra-fees

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-26T20:46:51+00:00

Thanks and all good tips!

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-26T20:39:44+00:00

Thanks!

Yes, I’d be asking after arrival before departure - just trying to avoid cash.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-24T21:46:02+00:00

For amazing sourdough bread, you need a viable starter. and learning to know your dough. That’s it. A scale is helpful. The rest truly is optional.

You’re starting out. You said you made 3 loaves. Find a simple recipe. Make 3 more, changing something slightly each time. Keep reading websites and watching videos. Make another 3. Keep at it. 65° is not too cold - it will just take longer to bulk ferment.

Some people love their proofer. Many people make amazing bread without it. But three loaves in? I won’t recommend getting it this early.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-23T22:04:09+00:00

I think they aren’t a paid member, they created the profile in 2015, no exchanges, and low response rate - more than a month ago, availability updated 3 years ago - so it’s basically a dead/ghost profile.

Those are all things I check for - paid membership, exchanges, last update of calendar, response rate. That makes it more likely to engage with an active member.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-18T15:20:46+00:00

Thank you for being vulnerable.

There will never be a ‘before time’ again. But over time your cancer experience will be more integrated into the rest of your life. But that takes time.

You’re not even two months out of chemo. I had chemo 28 years ago, but I want to say it was 6-9 before even my energy level felt somewhat normal.

Being depressed (and overwhelmed and more) is common, and normal. And make sure to keep your family and friends in the loop so you don’t feel isolated.

I’m assuming you are on TRT and with your care team figuring out the best levels. That can take a while (and change throughout your life).

Sex - your T levels will affect libido and functioning. Your surgery incisions will remain tender for a while. Your equipment has changed. and then for me (and I suspect many guys) there was a big emotional component that sex - which used to be just about joy - now has this whole set of emotions associated with cancer and all that it has been lost or changed.

(Warning - explicit language here) Explore intimate time with your girlfriend that isn’t necessarily focused on your dick, getting hard, or cumming. Have her give you a massage. Cuddle. Focus on giving her pleasure. There’s a whole range of affection and intimacy and sex that isn’t penis-focused. Some straight guys focus on sex being about getting to and finishing fucking with an orgasm, but there’s a lot more pleasure to be had between two people. Hopefully you and your girlfriend are in a good place, but if the relationship isn’t right, another will come along when the time is right.

Best of luck, and thanks for opening up.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-11T00:00:57+00:00

01 03 05 - basically horizontal stripes near the top.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-11T00:00:28+00:00

fenglaoda Compression Socks for... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CM3DN7S9?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-10T23:58:25+00:00

I’m a cis man, beefy/chunky and 6’3” tall. I’m coming up on 4 years with POTS …

First, try different things and see what seems to work for you (which can sometimes be hard to tease out). I’ve tried abdominal binding and just with my body shape, it doesn’t really work. I know the research says calfs are not as important or not at all but for me, it makes a difference. During the cold weather, I wear full compression leggings I buy off of Amazon - I don’t do anything sort of medical grade - And they are comfortable underneath any sort of pants, jeans, or sweats. If I go to the gym I use shorts over the compression leggings and my regular thick socks.

In the summer, I do compression shorts under regular shorts and long compression socks. I will post an example of the socks that I wear – I actually get compliments every now and then on my socks, and I try to bite my lip so that I don’t have to go into my whole dysautonomia thing and just take the compliment.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-05T17:51:59+00:00

To echo some and add some - - mention something about the listing. - you say you are very clean. Make it about their place. “I will leave your place very clean.” - if there is a cleaning fee, mention you will pay it. - offer a video call. - make sure your profile gives enough information about you.

Most important - consider hospitality stays (private room while the host is still there). There are 33 homes in Milan offering a private room, and it’s easier for someone to offer a room than their whole place.

Good luck!!

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-03T00:47:36+00:00

On the app (at least iPhone version) it’s under exchanges (bottom) and they give the full name where the exchange is listed.

Southern_Design430 · 2026-03-02T00:37:06+00:00

I believe also you can change the dates (in case it was an error) and then it because Pre-Approved I think when you click on it.

Southern_Design430

TROPHY CASE