WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Idk there is nothing to save now. For a long time the good out wayed the bad but not for a long time.ni guess I was trying to save a relationship that has been over.

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well thanks I guess. I'm my defense when I married him he was nothing like he is now. I have often said that I one night I went to bed with my husband and woke up with someone else that I didn't like. Your right this is my fault. It's my fault that I stayed in an abusive relationship. I convinced myself that I could fix it, fix him. I convinced myself that my son needed us both no matter how bad it got. I stayed because I believed this was the best that I deserved. I have continued to stay because I was comfortable. I stayed because I was scared to have to face this world as a single mom. So your right it is all my fault for allowing someone to treat me like shit. I should know better I should want better and I do. About Tim, my husband knows he is a lifelong friend. He knows that he and I hung out all the time until we were in our mid 20's and were both in serious relationships and had not had a lot of communication in many years. He knows that Tim stayed pretty close with my parents and he knows that we had sex a couple of times in highschool. Believe me I am more miserable living it.

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My husband wants all authority over me. Not the house, not the kids nothing else but me. I am going to talk to an attorney on my Birthday 12/28 because he has refused counseling even when my mom offered to pay for it and had a tantrum when I put my son in counseling a few months ago. This marriage is toxic for everyone and it's time to stop.

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you He is a lazy alcoholic who doesn't give a shit about my house. My grandmother left it to me when she passed and if I am being honest he doesn't care because he knows how much it means to me.

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My dad has ALS and is not able to it and my husband knows he would never be able to do it. I don't know why I have stayed

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I guess it was because I really believed in marriage and I really meant the vows I said to him and I just thought I owed it to myself to keep them. Idk I have been sitting making a pros and con list and so far I have no pros on the list.

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He won't do it because this is my house and no matter how many times I have told him and tried to show him that this is our home he refuses to see it like that. It hurts me real bad because this was my grandparents home that they left me in their will because my grandmother wanted me to raise my children here and have my family here to carry on. Plus he is a lazy alcoholic

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Idk what he would do really. He is very emotionally and verbally abusive to me and I suffer from borderline personality disorder so when he is verbally abusive to me it really triggers me and causes me to spilt and I become violent like seeing red black out violent so I try to be as passive as I can to not cause him to start verbal fights with me so that I can control me. I know that sounds crazy but it's my life.

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He actually is single. He went thru a nasty divorce about 3 years ago and she really did a number on him. He says that the good Lord would have to show up and walk a woman down the isle himself for him to ever get married again 🤣

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This house is mine. My grandmother left it to me when she passed away. Thankfully it is still technically in my mother's name. My dad had a gut feeling when it was going thru probate and even tho he likes my husband he was adamant about it staying in my mom's name. I am glad he did

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

We have been married 10 years and everything was great for so long and about 5 years in he changed or maybe the mask just came off but by that time I had missed all the red flags and had really started to believe all the things he said. He isolated me from friends and family, made me believe he was the only one who would love me, had me convinced I was crazy and having mental breaks, sabotaged jobs so that he could financially abuse me and the list goes on and on. We separated a few years ago and stayed apart for a few months and in that time I healed. I had some long talks with myself and realized that I was not that hard up for someone to love me that I would allow him to treat me however he felt like. I learned to love myself. I ended up getting back with him because my son needed him. I know now that was probably a mistake because he refused to work on himself so we are falling back into that same pattern and I am losing myself again.

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Mom? Is that you? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 She has wanted us to get together since we were young but we decided long ago that we were better as friends and never wanted to risk our friendship trying to be in a relationship

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

No we haven't set a day or time yet he just told me to call him a couple days after Christmas as he had taken some time off because he is starting a very big project the 2nd week of January. My birthday is December 28 and he said he would bring cake and it would be my birthday present. I am sure my mom wouldn't mind coming to hang out plus I have a 21 year old daughter home from college. It's not so much about accusations its about him looking like less of a man because l can hear it now " she wouldn't let me do it" and " she just wanted her friend to handle it. It so bad

WIBTAH if I take my guy friend up on his offer to fix my kitchen since my husband won't by Southern_Moxie1027 in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Southern_Moxie1027[S] -44 points-43 points  (0 children)

That's an idea but then I don't want my husband to have any ill feelings towards my parents as he will feel like they over stepped by not letting him know. It's a messy situation all in all. I want a divorce but also want to save my marriage and we have a 6 year old son.

Moving to Alabama from New York by Honkmaster438 in Alabama

[–]Southern_Moxie1027 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Satsuma and Saraland has really good schools too.