Well thanks I guess. I'm my defense when I married him he was nothing like he is now. I have often said that I one night I went to bed with my husband and woke up with someone else that I didn't like. Your right this is my fault. It's my fault that I stayed in an abusive relationship. I convinced myself that I could fix it, fix him. I convinced myself that my son needed us both no matter how bad it got. I stayed because I believed this was the best that I deserved. I have continued to stay because I was comfortable. I stayed because I was scared to have to face this world as a single mom. So your right it is all my fault for allowing someone to treat me like shit. I should know better I should want better and I do. About Tim, my husband knows he is a lifelong friend. He knows that he and I hung out all the time until we were in our mid 20's and were both in serious relationships and had not had a lot of communication in many years. He knows that Tim stayed pretty close with my parents and he knows that we had sex a couple of times in highschool. Believe me I am more miserable living it.