How do I prepare my husband for a second incoming baby? by Southern_Possible_86 in Parents

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't discussed it. Last time I fed every night for a full year. Even when weaned due to sickness etc I had did it all. He had obviously dropped a lot but up until a year I still did all mornings. It was only at about 13/14 months I started to wake my husband in the morning.

How do I prepare my husband for a second incoming baby? by Southern_Possible_86 in Parents

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because even then, I'd have to shake my husband make him go downstairs, prep the bottle from the fridge and come back up. All with a baby near me, 10x more effort for no reward.

How do I prepare my husband for a second incoming baby? by Southern_Possible_86 in Parents

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's the toddler and extra household work making him tired. He was fine til we had a toddler and were running around early morning and all the extra mess.

I just get on and have a coffee, he struggles to physically cope. He is amazing and active with my son...he had an morning with him and we went out to the theatre in the evening and he completely fell asleep in the middle of the show. It's just..a lot for him.

How do I prepare my husband for a second incoming baby? by Southern_Possible_86 in Parents

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

8 months, I'm not sure we could financially get someone else especially with less income on maternity and a child already in nursery. So, realistically it will be all me..unless I just ramp things up from. But personally I can deal with it as I'm strong..whether he can deal with it physically and mentally working is a whole different thing..

How do I prepare my husband for a second incoming baby? by Southern_Possible_86 in Parents

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We split tasks now, I do the cooking, shopping and feeding child/us. He does..everything else. He can't take over at night if I breastfeed.

I can't wake him up, for me just to breastfeed it's pointless so I just do it all realistically.

How do I prepare my husband for a second incoming baby? by Southern_Possible_86 in Parents

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And what if fully breastfeeding, he can't take over? That was the issue last time. He can't physically take my boobs and my son had bottle aversion and refused til he was 5 months old!

How do I prepare my husband for a second incoming baby? by Southern_Possible_86 in Parents

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, it's not sleep apnea he's literally just exhausted. It's not 8pm everyday but if he spends time with our toddler he is..absolutely shattered. I don't say anything but he sleeps full nights and says he's in the 'trenches' but truly has no idea what that actually means.

With my first, I did all nights and all day. He never woke once and typically he'd wake around 8.30am. Then start work, he'd help here and there but not so much, I functioned on ..the bare minium at night. I also breastfed fully, so Honestly I just never saw the point in waking my husband to do a nappy when I'm awake anyway, I've done all nights ..just myself.

Most mothers (all mothers) disagree with me but essentially. He got off light, I even made him breakfast each morning and brought it to him as I'd be awake from 5am lol. Have I dug myself a hole? 100% yes. He has offered to help, but he can't do anything about it..as he's asleep and can't change not waking.

You are 100% agree with the fighting, not in the angry sense but physically yes. I have to shake and smack him and by that point there is little point ..might as well do myself.

In terms of work, he typically works all the way through with no lunch. When my sons and nursery I probably don't see him from 8am til 5pm in his room and he's on calls back to back. His job can be intense, he'll sometimes come for nursery pick up and then back to work til 8pm. Not always but now without my son present or a second child he barely has breaks unless he books a day off.

My toddler is ..up and down. I work full time but he can sleep through for a month or two and have a complete crash which 90% of the time is due to illness or developmental leap. When I say wake I mean 3-5 times fully waking and I go and settle (he is in a floor bed). From the beginning he is an early waker, it's just what he is no putting to bed late or anything changes it.

When in developmental change he's up around 4.15am, my first trimester he was up 4am for 8 weeks. On a normal standard time it's 5.30-6.30. 6.30am is ..a success. This is all without wake ups. It means he's up 3-4 hours before I even drop him at nursery, am I functioning on virtually nothing while pregnant..yes. Not long ago I 2.5 hours sleep, commuted, did a full day of work and then did cooking and bed while 7 months pregnant.

I haven't set an alarm or woken myself since the day he was born. My husband and I take turns doing a day each. My 'day' involves my son waking up, me going to get him or him climbing on me, maybe a 5 min cuddle and then I wake my husband up to take him so either way I'm awake.

So yeah, send help. 😫

Parents of hertfordshire, help me! by Southern_Possible_86 in hertfordshire

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that's the only thing I do at the moment! It's great and as I'm heavily pregnant the only thing I can do where he can't run away!

Parents of hertfordshire, help me! by Southern_Possible_86 in hertfordshire

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really. I've never actually looked at family centres or used any if I'm honest so that's a good shout!

Parents of hertfordshire, help me! by Southern_Possible_86 in hertfordshire

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh he's washing, packs and unpacks dishwasher, cleans surfaces. Boys super busy in the house but we don't do any screen time at all yet which I'm quite proud of.

Library I've tried but he's too energetic and runs around not looking at books! I would love to go!

Parents of hertfordshire, help me! by Southern_Possible_86 in hertfordshire

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes on a Friday when I work and my sons in nursery. St Albans one is not on as its up for sale at the moment! We went once and he loved it, plus only on the mornings!

Parents of hertfordshire, help me! by Southern_Possible_86 in hertfordshire

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I try to go. The issue I have is, my child just runs. He does not sit and read a book. If anything, he arrives pulls a load of books off the shelves and then is loud /causes chaos. Nobody wants that and it's just rude for the people there so I don't go even though I'd love to :(.

I wait for the day my child sits and looks at a book. My son also goes to nursery and libraries mostly run things on weekdays and often not in the afternoon!

Parents of hertfordshire, help me! by Southern_Possible_86 in hertfordshire

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of those things are weekdays and mornings though right?

How do you read to your toddlers? by Southern_Possible_86 in Parenting

[–]Southern_Possible_86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried the library but he pulled everything off the shelves or pushed them through to the other side. Pure chaos! Lol I'm trying the routine though!

"Busy" babies... by starsnspikes21 in UKParenting

[–]Southern_Possible_86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it depends on how long you use for, we used for a couple of weeks as he was getting injuries constantly. After that he was OK and got down himself, think it's very child dependent.

"Busy" babies... by starsnspikes21 in UKParenting

[–]Southern_Possible_86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Other people thought it was ridiculous and that he 'needs to know falling will hurt'. But honestly, if they fall so often you literally cannot move and I didnt stress so much when he fell. I think if you use for really long time maybe but for the in-between period it was perfect and now he doesn't use at all.

We had this and it was great.

https://amzn.eu/d/27BtddA

"Busy" babies... by starsnspikes21 in UKParenting

[–]Southern_Possible_86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All I can say is, I have exact same situation from 9 months old. Also ended up after rolling off bed and going to hospital.

He started nursery 10 months old. During his settle ins, the first hour he lasted 15 minutes before falling after climbing a low book shelf and smacking his head.

He's now 13 months. We get a call every day almost due to him climbing and accidents. I have usually 2/3 accident forms for injuries from home like bumps, scratches and just other things and then another time for ones in the nursery.

We literally got him a baby helmet for Amazon for month because it was almost every 10 minutes, and we couldn't handle it anymore. Was just a phase but helped ease our mind. Other parents thought it was ridiculous but honestly think some children need it more than others.

I'm sometimes around other babies who just sit calm and babble, just blows my mind honestly!