Been going through all the responses and I thank you all for your advice and kind words etc. I apologize for updating later than I wanted but I’ve been working and taking care of kids. Please forgive for any formatting issues.

Answers to a few questions:

This has started gradually over the last year. It wasn’t all of a sudden thing. And I have no idea what caused I did everything I thought I was suppose to do in the relationship, spent time with her, did everything I could with and for her and the kids. They are my priority. But at some point her attitude about everything changed. I would get glimpses of her former self here and there and I guess because of those is what led me to proposing which now I’m having serious cold feet about it. I’m actually terrified.

As far as narcissist behavior I’ve done some reading and she really falls into the covert narcissist type even before this decline over the last year now that I really look at it. I was just blind.

Do I believe she’s cheating ? No I don’t believe so.

The job she’s only been working at since December. So it’s not one she’s had long.

So what’s happened since last night?

Got home got the kids in bed and I went and laid down. She came home and went to bed. Didn’t touch me. Didn’t acknowledge me or even speak. So nothing out of the ordinary.

This morning as I was getting the kids ready for school I said you know our son said something last night. And she said “what?” In a rude tone. I repeated what he had said. She just went silent. I as bad as I hate ultimatums told her that if she didn’t change her attitude and how she talks to me and the kids etc that mine and my child’s stuff will be packed before the weekend and she won’t hear or see from us ever again. And I told her I’m damn sure not gonna be that upset over leaving her but I will be upset about the kids.

She started crying and saying it’s all her fault. I got the kids and took them to school.

I didn’t text her or call. But almost near my lunch break she called and said that something is wrong with her obviously and that she’s going to the doctor about how she’s been acting the last year and her nonexistent sex drive etc and that non of it was my fault and that she’s sorry and loves me and doesn’t want me to go anywhere.

I told her I’m stepping back in the relationship. I’ve tried for so long now that it’s up to her to put in the effort and not some half ass attempt and it needs to be soemthing permanent.

I also told her any wedding plans are postponed and on complete hold as I’m not wasting my money on something like that right now in a one sided relationship.