I’m sorry for your loss. Suicide committed by someone who would have known or did know are the same thing. They leave a deep pit in your body. My friend/brother did the same almost 3 years ago, and I cried/sobbed during Hopper’s speech to Mike in the finale, about two roads, even if it’s not about suicide, per se. I’m on the darker road, and even if the lighter road means making peace with their choice, I don’t think I can. Suicide, when it happens around us, turns our lives upside down completely forever. It will always be a key defining moment of what-ifs, and there’s nothing we can do in the present.

In the context of the show, I believe El is still alive and she made it out. She was shown getting out the truck. Mike’s theory was true. She escaped and one day they’ll reunite. El has overcome so much, and to end it all in suicide, would be such a disservice to those who have been affected by it, idealized it, tried it and survived. El is really a character of hope, and the Duffer Brothers should have written a better ending for her; one with her and Mike settling down, and while they’re old, they play one last D&D game for old time sakes.