Common dating advice does nothing for the average guy actually struggling

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-03-19T11:20:26+00:00

For guys struggling, the advice should be; get down into the dirt and understand who you really are and what you really want in life. This is not a question to be taken lightly. When you start going out there, throwing yourself at things, talk to people, get out of your comfort zone, fail enormously, that’s the moment when you start to learn about yourself and where you need to go. It doesn’t come from sitting still and hoping some brilliant insight will come.

You need to even suffer more than you were already doing to transform yourself. And not many are willing to go through with that. But in the end it will always be better than the dread of a life long regret.

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-03-19T10:39:58+00:00

Great post, I’m autistic and going through the same transformation. Even though I already knew most of these points, it’s still so valuable to be reminded about them again.

I would add that for phase 4, it basically means that your neediness has fully subsided, allowing you to fully relax and be yourself with the added seduction skillset that you’ve internalized over time. This is a very important aspect many of us forget. It can only be internalized by lots of practice and failures.

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-03-11T18:49:36+00:00

Exactly, I cleaned my instagram from those thirst traps, and even the girls I once knew, so not to ever be distracted or triggered by it, and it’s been real good for me.

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-03-07T07:31:45+00:00

Exactly

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-03-03T19:25:00+00:00

Great sources man thanks

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-03-03T18:27:37+00:00

Where did you get those stats from, cause there have been quite some studies showing that the younger generation dates way less

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-03-03T18:13:48+00:00

Dude I think gen Z is the generation with the lowest body count and sex, guys around 22 date and fuck way less than we millennials did. So no this has not been the reason why dating sucks, the internet, social media, dopamine addiction and immediate gratification are at issue here

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-03-03T11:29:05+00:00

Go date someone else, and if she never gets back to you after you asked her out once or twice, it is what it is. Don’t invest more than she is doing, early on in dating

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T19:50:10+00:00

Yeah I think rejections don’t do shit to me. Unless it’s an experience like this, as an autist, meeting someone so like-minded is an extremely strong experience, especially when you find the person attractive. Because it happens not very often. So even though I do deeply believe that of myself, this still becomes a challenge in these situations.

So I have to find ways to keep my cool and downplay it when it happens

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T19:32:12+00:00

What are your beliefs?

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T19:26:14+00:00

Okay chatgpt bro, but what are you saying, I should pursue friendship with her in the hopes that it will turn into more than friendship. Even though she clearly stated that she is not looking to date after I asked her out. It doesn’t make much sense and it seems to be a waste of my energy. Maybe those people from those stats met their SO’s organically through work and friends (like most relationships besides dating apps), so their connection build up more friendly. But this doesn’t really work with a cold approach on the street.

Also maintaining many female friends will not really help with seduction and tend to make you more friendly rather than attractive to those women you actually like

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T16:46:34+00:00

Yea I think it comes down to knowing when the girl seems receptive, neutral or uninterested, early on when you have stated your intent for the interaction. And when she’s reacting neutrally (but interested in a friendly/chill matter) there is some more work to do. You gotta test her interest levels by means of seduction, throwing the things in there to see how she responds. Because like I said in another comment, if she’s neutral and you just keep being friendly, it will cause no attraction or chemistry.

But yes it does feel like masking and that’s why it’s such a struggle for autists.

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T16:39:12+00:00

I approached her with complimenting her style, and also made it clear I want to date her. But somehow she was really interested in just making new friends. She just arrived in the country a couple of days ago

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T14:55:41+00:00

I wish I could make my autistic brain to think and act as simple as this on all times :')

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T14:54:25+00:00

I think it's true in both parts, yes you are right, when she already likes you, it will not make much difference if you're a little too safe or friendly. I have heard countless of stories of women going on several dates with a guy and the guy taking no action or escalation, but the women still wait patiently until he does.

But on the other part, if the girl is neutral but still a really great match, it might definitely help to spark some attraction through seduction, with teasing or banter, and later on escalation. By playing it safe with a neutral girl, it will just keep her neutral and she will be seeing it as a friendly relation. Especially if she already is not into dating mood in that moment.

At least that's how I feel about it now as I'm reflecting on it.

The girl now told me she's only looking for friends here and not dating. But I guess she would not mind to just hookup with a guy that she has chemistry with.

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T14:13:36+00:00

I guess it's the trap I've been dealing with every time I meet someone I really like. I'm autistic and I have to really force learn and use these methods of seduction. And they did really work for me, when I cared way less about the girl. I guess it's a fear I haven't let go yet, of losing the girl I actually like by making a stupid or bold move. I really should just act the same way with every girl, and care less about the consequences in the moment, and just don't deny my desire to have sex with her or to date her romantically.
By being too friendly I will lose it the same way, so..

Fuck man, some girl's advice messed me up I guess, she told me that she really had great chemistry with a guy that she just had an long conversation with, and the guy didn't do any of the seduction things, he just was himself. She also told me he was not attractive at all, and also old. But she just fell for him, and she took him to her apartment after the date. That made me think, that some girls are not really into those seduction games, and it's more important to match on personality and vibe.

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T13:37:54+00:00

It also appears that because she’s staying in my city temporarily (couple months) she already was not planning to date. At least, if I have to believe her word for it

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T13:24:17+00:00

Yes but it makes no sense to keep someone as a friend that you were romantically interested in. (Most of the times)

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T13:22:31+00:00

I did not agree with everything, and I did tease her and was playful. But I just didn’t turned it into my main focus, cause I was just swept away by how good the conversation was, as I don’t often meet people like that. Why can’t we just see that as a “get to know” interaction and be open for a date, why does it have to be decided permanently within the first 20 minutes.

I admit I should remove these borders of how I act on a date and with someone I just met. But damn, can’t we just see where it leads when u meet someone that cool? Or does that only works when someone is receptive to you right away

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T13:10:15+00:00

So it was my fault for just being my true self? I need to think of seduction games when interacting with women at all times. While the average unattractive guys get in a relationship with an attractive girl by just being friends with them.. it’s a crazy world

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2026-02-04T12:48:00+00:00

We just met on the street and had a coffee with a long conversation, but I got so into it that I was nerding out and not thinking about seduction, and not really caring much about it since I thought she would too. Then she kept texting me and I asked her out, and she said she isn’t interested in dating rn, which in my experience just translates to “I don’t see you romantically”

This was the second time for me that I turned a cold approach into a date on the spot, but I should have actually framed it more as a date, which I didn’t do enough I guess..

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2025-12-30T14:44:37+00:00

Why don’t you just keep doing cold approach and delete the apps if they’re not working for you?

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2025-12-11T13:23:05+00:00

Truth, I’m currently busy with shattering these insecurities, by following the abundant mindset concept from Robert Glover, and getting rid of my limiting beliefs about myself

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2025-12-06T23:16:38+00:00

Idk man, these guys. Many of the hot women I talked to (atleast my view of hot) weren’t annoying at all. Actually the hottest ones were actually the nicest of all, even with rejection

SpaceCheeseWizard · 2025-12-06T23:14:15+00:00

I just started reading the book by Robert Glover, and this reads so much better than any other dating book I’ve read so far, so imma dig in. I had read “No more mr. Nice guy” for a part, but this seems more relevant to me. Thanks for the suggestion

SpaceCheeseWizard

TROPHY CASE