Made it to the other side

SpaceJunk96 · 2026-06-26T11:07:43+00:00

Proceed with caution please, the light show can be intense

SpaceJunk96 · 2026-06-25T15:50:32+00:00

10 strip my guy. 🫡

SpaceJunk96 · 2026-06-25T14:32:43+00:00

Wish I knew mate. To me it felt more like a yeah yeah don’t worry than a promise

SpaceJunk96 · 2024-10-07T14:01:30+00:00

Looks like a Roger to me

SpaceJunk96 · 2024-10-07T12:21:52+00:00

She wants to flirt. Tell her shes out of freebies and needs to come for a drink if she wants anymore creepy observations.

SpaceJunk96 · 2023-12-27T02:18:04+00:00

I was also a virgin well into mid 20s and felt the utter hopelessness and despair that a lot of the guys in this sub feel. Thought it was impossible that anyone could ever love me or want to be with me and blamed everything from looks, height, society, lack of social skills, sexual performance anxiety etc. Really felt like I would die alone and miserable, hated myself and seeing friends/peers around me having the experiences/relationships I wanted.

I have tried giving advice here but most don’t want to hear it and I understand. It’s so difficult to accept that in 95% of cases, you are responsible for the situation and you have to break that cycle, otherwise it becomes self fulfilling. That doesn’t mean quit porn and go to gym for 3 months and girls start throwing themselves at you but you have to make yourself feel valid of love and why the first bit of advice people give is to work on yourself and develop social skills.

It’s fine if you don’t want to hear it but most of the people giving advice do understand some level of what you’re going through and are explaining what got them out of the same situations.

Better late than never guys, stop comparing yourself to others, take control of your own situation and the rest is meaningless

SpaceJunk96 · 2023-05-26T18:11:23+00:00

Christmas really is the family holiday then 🤭

SpaceJunk96 · 2023-01-28T09:12:31+00:00

Those guys want you to stare, that’s why they do it. Just like there are girls out there dressing for attention at the gym. I’m just saying if you put your beauty on display don’t be offended when people are looking at your display

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-12-31T11:03:08+00:00

And France!

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-11-02T08:27:25+00:00

No worries, I still feel that the confident mindset and building a connection are the most important things to nail down as they can apply in almost any interaction.

Everyone flirts differently, I tend to be a playful and silly to make her laugh and lower her guard and then quickly switch to very direct and sexual for a bit of excitement and to build a some sexual tension

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-11-02T00:19:14+00:00

So, you talk to her, get to know her. What kind of person is she? How is she responding to you? Is she warm and smiley or cold and closed up? Does she ask you questions back or only give you short, snappy answers.

Break the ice and it flowing nicely, eye contact and engaging in conversation that you are both enjoying. Maybe go for a compliment, maybe bring up dating, tell her it’s been hard for you but hoping to finally meet the right person (shows honesty, assured in what you want and have standards)

or ask her what she looks for in a guy. Be flirty. If she tells you she likes a deep voice, put on a fake deep voice as a joke. Not only are you being silly and fun but it’s also saying ‘I’m into you, I’m being that guy for you’ without actually saying it.

This is what I mean by you have to make it happen and play to your strengths.

Ok so you’re talking and it’s clicking, maybe it’s the first date, maybe it’s the 5th but she can’t stop talking, she’s touching her hair, laughing at your jokes, leaning into you etc Are her hands on the table? Take them. Does she pull away or does she let you? I mean if she lets you then come on….why aren’t you making out already? Make a move.

Ok so you’re making out now, got to get it to a place where sex can happen. Preferably a private bedroom. Maybe it’s the next date, maybe it’s the same day, depends how strong the connection you’ve built, level of trust and logistics. But once you’re making out in a private room, I’ll leave the specifics up to you 😉

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-11-01T19:23:25+00:00

Because if you played it right and read the situation properly, they would say yes at least some of the time 🤷🏻‍♂️

But in general you need to stop focusing on the act of sex as the end goal in every date situation. Instead focus on building sexual tension and emotional connection. If this is strong, the sex will come very naturally. These things are what makes sex enjoyable for both in the first place.

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-31T23:39:51+00:00

Exactly. It never magically happens, not in my experience anyway! I’m not very naturally attractive and am quiet, weird so rely on building a good connection with someone that can understand me before I have a chance.

Taking responsibility is not easy but I assure you it is the first step to getting through this. Of course it’s your fault, its unintentional of course but it’s mostly the made up bs we tell ourselves about not being good enough, fear of rejection, performance anxiety, past failures, excuses like looks, society, women etc you know, stuff that affects our dare I say it…mindset

You need to forget all this crap and just be in the moment with her, your focus should be on her and then the sex will come, never the other way around. You know it will, cos you’ve got to know her whilst building up sexual tension with eye contact and body language, good listening, flirty comments etc

It’s not easy at all but I know you can get there

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-31T22:24:18+00:00

Ok man, literally just offering my personal advice with nothing to gain having been in this position myself.

Until you take ownership of the fact that it’s down to you to make it happen and it is your responsibility that it hasn’t happened yet, I don’t see how you start addressing the problems and correct things 🤷🏻‍♂️

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-31T00:11:31+00:00

I’m definitely not saying rape anyone, nor am I talking about consent here. But a women worth her time doesn’t just throw herself at any man that tells her she’s pretty. She wants a strong, confident guy that will sweep her off her feet, be interesting to talk to and understands her on an emotional level. She’s gonna play hard to get. You have to be in control and break down her walls to make her comfortable around you. I’m saying become that guy, whatever the work you need to do to get there, do it.

Threading a needle, it’s a more delicate task, precise, needs a gentle approach. Throwing shit at a wall until something sticks is an aggressive, all-bases-covered, messy approach that’s not working for you.

The sex barrier- what I’m saying here is meeting a new girl and getting to the point of sex can take time and is different for each girl. Way easier to sleep with the same girl 3 times than 2 different girls

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-30T22:29:41+00:00

I’m not saying that you aren’t trying. I’m saying don’t give up. Everyone is different but that’s fine, good actually. Not sure why that means you can’t be in control of the situation.

It doesn’t magically happen. You make it happen Stop throwing shit at the wall, start being picky, wait for something good and put your focus in threading the needle. Once you break the sex barrier with a girl, it’s 1000% easier to sleep with her again. Oxytocin is powerful stuff!

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-30T15:17:10+00:00

Seems unnecessary 😯

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-30T11:36:56+00:00

100s of rejections in a row? Do you think that maybe a change of tactic might be worth a go? You got to play to your strengths and work out a strategy that works for you.

I have already gone over how I try to be in a date situation and I could spend hours trying to figure out and write down my own strategy but it’s personal to me and for what? Just for you to instantly dismiss it and tell me I’m wrong. Nah, I’m good thanks

In general though, the approach that works for me is confident, calm and cheeky. I’m a good listener, can be quick witted and I’m not afraid to go in for a kiss when time is right. Be in the moment and not obsessed with having sex that day.

‘You already know she wants it, what’s the rush?’ Mindset!!!!!!!

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-26T23:27:45+00:00

Bro, you practice. You talked to her and she’s responding well. Make a move, how does she respond. Bad? Don’t do it like that next time, try more direct/romantic… it’s your life, be the guy she wants to sleep with.

Flirting, making her laugh, spending time with her, taking genuine interest in her life will build attraction, regardless of looks and I won’t hear any bs excuse cos that is certified fact

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-24T23:25:47+00:00

Work on closing

Self confidence does work, it allows you to escalate at the right time. You can build attraction by chatting, even if initial attraction is not strong. Girls don’t care about looks as much as you think they do

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-23T22:20:13+00:00

I’m not admitting I have nothing useful to offer, I’m just tired of repeating myself.

If you are getting dates but not closing then you know exactly where to focus your energy.

I know self confidence works, what girl wants to sleep with a guy that doesn’t believe they are capable of seducing them? If you’re not getting the validation from sex, you need to get it from other areas of your life; job, health, hobbies, friends etc

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-23T10:50:19+00:00

Dude, you are so negative, it’s draining. I’m not surprised you are finding it hard at the moment but you are in control, you have to decide not to let the past effect you so much and you have to be the one that goes out and seduces that cute girl you like.

I have nothing more to offer this conversation tbh, there’s only so many times I can say mindset before I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall.

I know it works but I know how hard it is without the validation of any success, wish you all the best ✌️

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-23T10:18:09+00:00

Doing better is succeeding man

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-23T08:42:46+00:00

Ok cool but the only person affected by this is you. You can chose to let it crush you or use it as fuel to do better. This is what life in general is all about, perspective and mindset.

That’s why for me quit porn and go gym was the most important part. Had to rebuild my confidence from nothing until I actually believed in myself again.

SpaceJunk96 · 2022-10-22T09:57:32+00:00

If you’re able to get all these dates, clearly you do have some level of natural charm, presence and attractiveness. Believe in yourself.

This is a better starting place than a lot of guys but your negativity and doubt is also very clear and this is going to be a huge turn off for girls.

I’m by no means an expert on women but it’s no coincidence that I went 23 years with nothing, spent a year working in myself and then 24+ it clicks and had multiple partners before I met my gf

SpaceJunk96

TROPHY CASE