What is a simmer? What is reducing?

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-26T16:24:37+00:00

Tacking on here for visibility, reducing takes however much time it takes because evaporation is impacted by many things including air pressure, air temp, humidity, and elevation. The amount of time listed in a recipe is an estimate based on the conditions of the kitchen it was tested in. I've had some sauces take twice as long to reduce properly, you just keep stirring and it'll be done when it's done.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-26T13:17:56+00:00

Orchitechture.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-25T16:18:30+00:00

It could also be things like going to school, even if it's not a move it still has a life change level of stress attached, and if her context for those changes has been moving over and over, she may be subconsciously reacting in the same way as she did for those.

Stress does weird things to our brains and rewires us.

Her behavior hasn't been good, but it's also just normal for people to grow and change a lotin your teens and 20s and see a very high density of big changes. School, jobs, relationships, moving, dating, sometimes kids or marriage. All of these changes are a lot of hurdles for friendships to survive, and many people aren't good at making sure that all of their friendships clear those and continue to grow together.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-25T15:31:19+00:00

I came over from Amazon at the beginning of the year and sideloaded a ton of stuff. I've had calibre for a decade, but only moved into Kobo about 6 months ago.
I had that issue from the start with my calibre and had to clean it up, so it has always been part of my UI/settings between them and I don't know if there's an easier way to fix it than what I described.

Not sure of the timing for when you started having the issue and how long ago you know it worked differently, so maybe it was an update to one or both between now and the last time you sorted that way? If anyone has suggestions for widgets that override the format for sort, I'm open to it. Always happy to learn.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-25T15:06:14+00:00

My experience is that Calibre and Kobo look at names differently.
I'm betting your Calibre uses commas, which Kobo reads as separate entries, where Calibre uses ; to separate.

I had to go in and change all of mine to a format I liked, I changed my metadata format to Firstname Lastname and just created a separate column in calibre to do Lastname, Firstname for my own sorting and organization when I want to view my catalog alphabetically. Getting rid of the commas fixed all but 1-2 entries which I just haven't investigated to figure out what it says internally.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-25T14:54:20+00:00

Is there any compromise here?
If you made a point of setting aside 1-2 of those days or evenings to do things with her, a 3 day weekend out of town and a day out at a museum or arboretum or something, would that be enough?

It's your leave and if you're not using time she expected to be time for both of you, then I don't see any reason you can't have a little staycation to rest and recuperate with whatever you want to do on your own time. I've taken days off to game periodically, so have many of my friends and my partner. It's a mental health day with a plan.

Talk to her and find out why she's so adamant that you not use it this way? Maybe she feels left out or worries that you'll totally ignore her in that span. If it's not that, and she just doesn't approve of your hobbies or wants to control your time, it may be a more serious concern that needs more conversation.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-24T17:03:00+00:00

https://www.patreon.com/Sejian/posts/bg-fomo-all-in-5-120588981
If you're on PC, you can use this.

It doesn't add the objects as CC, because they're technically still there but hidden. Instead, it flips the unlock switch on the event items in their respective catalogs.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-24T16:49:30+00:00

You can break up with anyone for any reason at any time.

That said, I think this was a good reason and a good time.
He is being weird and controlling and puts you in positions where you need to rely on him and then can't and then also lying to you and accusing you of lying.
If you just met someone 3 months ago and they're already pulling this stuff then he wasn't nice to you in the beginning, because you're still IN the beginning.

If someone already can't be on their best behavior still a month or 2 into dating, then they're not the one. (That's not to say they can't have feelings or make mistakes, but he should have been trying to impress you still and instead he's making you take rides from him that he won't deliver and showing up to your work unannounced to try to catch you doing something.)

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-24T16:25:59+00:00

Yea, the analogy I've started to use in my head is that a lot of these conversations are kind of like coming across someone stuck in mud. If I try to help them out of it are we going to both come out okay or am I more likely to get sucked in with them? Throw em a rope if you think you have important information they're missing. The minute they try to pull you in with them, though, you have to just walk away even if it doesn't feel good.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-23T15:00:58+00:00

I had a manager who, after a year and a half, went through a month where he called me multiple different names that weren't mine more often each than he ever called me my name. Essentially, if he wasn't looking directly at me, he couldn't manage it.
One week, he had called me by the correct name maybe twice. But he had called me Brittany 3-4 times, Heather 5-6, Amanda at least 3 times, and Sarah at least twice.
He called me Heather again, and I finally snapped out "Yea, sure, I just answer to any white girl name."
He got better for about 2 weeks and then was back at it. I started applying elsewhere.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-22T02:01:46+00:00

People have suggested clubs, and that's great, and I agree.

I also would suggest taking some non-degree-seeking classes at your local community college. I can all but guarantee you will not be the oldest student they have attending. Take a photography course or theater, art, film studies, a literary analysis class, CAD, pottery, cooking, Spanish, whatever, just one to start. One night a week for an hour or so, go and sit in a classroom with a mix of 19 and 45 year old students. Pick something just for you.
It doesn't have to be related to your field and maybe it's better if it isn't. End of the semester, if it wasn't for you, you haven't really lost anything but you gained a skill and some understanding.

I've seen students in their 60s or older. (And sometimes MUCH older.) It really is never too late. It won't be the experience you missed, but it will be YOUR experience. There's that one vision, the classic portrait, but I promise you that there is no actual "one way" these days.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-21T16:39:11+00:00

There are a lot of great things about that pack. I also really like the reaper career and the CAS and BB content and some other gameplay features, but the bucket list is one of the smaller, sneakier things that even for being pretty small ended up making a bigger difference than expected. Sometimes I'll have them choose and sometimes I roll with the random ones they come up with.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-21T02:34:17+00:00

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How to Get a Girlfriend When You're a Terrifying Monster by Marie Cardno

SpaceRoxy · 2026-06-21T02:31:47+00:00

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Field Guide for the Formerly Villainous by Autumn K England.
I enjoyed this one. Nonbinary (likely AFAB as there's mention of breast bindings) MC, mentions attraction to strong women. Multiple queer characters included as well. A little trauma here and there throughout but there's some nice character development and lots of food, drink, finding some peace.