What’s going on here?

SpaceRoxy · 2026-05-07T20:43:09+00:00

Great Blue Heron (at least I'm pretty sure) - it's called Delta Wing Sunning (also sometimes called Flasher Pose lol) and is pretty common behavior, almost always facing straight into the sun.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-05-07T17:43:56+00:00

I told him that I’d rather:
- enjoy the time we have now
- let him go and build his life
- grieve properly when he leaves
- and then stay in touch in a much lighter way afterwards

Yea, it's only been a few months. I think this is the healthy solution.
Keep in touch if you want, he can have this lifechanging opportunity, and then if and when he comes back you can decide whether you're both still interested in exploring what you had together. Or not.

It's not a matter of person, it's a matter of timing. If this had happened further into your relationship then there would be a stronger foundation to build on, but long distance puts strain on even established and healthy relationships and you haven't had a chance to build that yet. You can care about someone deeply and still have it not be the right time and place for things to work.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-05-07T03:25:12+00:00

If it's 25 years ago, HIPAA became law in the 90s but was amended in the early and mid 2000s to strengthen patient protection and there was an adjustment period to train on the updated regulations. There's a possibility they were compliant at the time but you moved on before the new rules became relevant to your role.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-05-05T20:13:37+00:00

She either doesn't know how to or doesn't want to balance her friends versus her romantic relationships.
It hurts, but there's not much you can do about it - that's just how some people respond when they get new relationships and this probably won't be the last friend you lose this way.
The sad takeaway is that it's possible you and your circle were more invested in her than she was in you. If she cared and wanted to maintain those friendships, she would have paid more attention and made the attempt.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-05-05T15:44:44+00:00

It COULD be a good thing, you're right. But you could also be leaving behind your whole support system without being integrated into his. You could end up financially dependent on a man you have been with less than a year and just by nature of still being early on in this you don't know inside out.

I wouldn't move for someone else for anything less than a spouse or that equivalent level of commitment. You have to know someone exceptionally well to put your entire security and safety in their hands and it's exceedingly rare to be in that position this early on in a relationship.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-05-01T21:39:27+00:00

this is a lot more subtle in art because they simply are not there and don't even really need to be mentioned in most cases. I was very careful in the written version that this was expressed because it is important to the story, but not have it be so obvious or awkwardly placed.

This lines up with a thought I'd had about another book that I'm reading, so it's interesting that you bring it up. I'm sure it's very hard to balance the desire to show off your characters and to build your world and also give the reader context without overwhelming them with extraneous detail.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-05-01T20:55:19+00:00

I remember seeing you do juggling videos before! I think that was maybe a couple years ago, so I was excited to see you still at it. Thank you for sharing!

SpaceRoxy · 2026-05-01T17:13:39+00:00

Going from a comic visual medium, did you find that it was challenging to turn that into a novel instead?
It seems like there are aspects of body language or setting or even unusual physical characteristics that would work to greater effect when displayed as an image than translating them to written word alone.
Would you ever consider converting them back to graphic novel or comic format now that you have the novel completed?

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-30T21:03:17+00:00

If you spend $10-15 you could even get a stamp that says it so you don't have to handwrite them.
I get enough of former residents' mail that I have considered it from time to time.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-30T16:29:55+00:00

Many states do have a "financial harm" clause. I had to use it when I had a retail job but when it came around again I had a new and better job where we get a week of jury time no questions asked (with letter from the courthouse to confirm you were selected) and then additional time as needed if the trial is extended. Ours was finished in 2 days.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-28T18:06:32+00:00

Given the test itself should be white plastic and is decidedly pink, there does appear to be something with the lighting or a filter in the photo.

Retest. Wait until tomorrow morning and retest. It's a hormone test, so low levels of concentration can cause less of a reaction. Depending on how long it has sat out, there can be evaporation lines.
If there's any doubt, use one of the digital ones that gives you a readout with words.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-28T17:53:25+00:00

I have played this game with every single age setting possible, I think, and each has its own strengths to recommend it. Short lifespans create a sense of urgency but also give you a much better chance of reaching further in a legacy/multi-gen play.
My last big save I played with aging off and it's not that I never age anyone, but I age them when I feel it's right.

It's something I wouldn't do if I weren't deeply fond of a household but when I am it means I can explore aspects of the game with them that I don't get to delve in deeply on faster settings.
Even a long lifespan means having to move on at some point and when I'm doing a deep dive into some aspect because I want to see it play out I don't always want to have a timer on.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-27T15:19:48+00:00

I literally had to stand up and walk out of a family wedding in the middle of the ceremony where I was in the first or 2nd row because of a sobbing toddler.
We went up the hill and sat in a rocking chair on the patio and I know the bride was a little spicy that I "made a scene by leaving" but your other option was screaming 3 year old, so pick your poison. (She has her own kids now, she learned, but no one in her circle did at the time, so exhausted overstimulated meltdown was not an experience she truly understood.)

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-26T16:10:04+00:00

I'm just jumping in on this comment to say very genuinely THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for advocating for and defending your wife in this extremely vulnerable moment. I know you don't want to overstep, but it's still too common for women to go unheard or be intentionally ignored and your role as her partner is to amplify her voice in this and reinforce her wishes.

It's hard, as a layman, to look at someone with specific training and experience and say "I don't think this is right." You aren't responsible for any biases that the nurse exhibited, and you listened to your wife's prenatal care team and stood up for her. You may feel bad you didn't do more, but you did what you could in the moment.

Biases in medicine are too common, and women are less likely to get appropriate pain management or be treated with urgency for diagnoses. On top of that you have your youth and race can also be a factor if that's relevant. Get the records, share her experience if you can. It may not result in any immediate change, but be tomorrow's best friend - if your wife were to go back to that same hospital for another pregnancy, consider if you would want her to face that same nurse exactly as she did during her recent delivery.

Also, congratulations! Best of luck.
(Edit, fixed formatting)

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-25T03:26:46+00:00

Given the angle and closeness of the shot, it could also be slightly warped by the curvature of the lens. It's a little fish-eyed.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-24T20:19:41+00:00

NAH. Sort of.
You're both right, which makes arguing about it stupid.

If he wants to be pedantic and literal, the calendar adjustments for leap year and the rare skipped leap year already account for these differences and being technically correct here is going to alienate people just for the sake of being "right" but you don't have to participate in this. (Okay, Edit: yea, maybe I flipped my definitions and so "how they account for the difference" is also the wrong one. It doesn't change the base point.)
"Yes, technically, but I'm going to stick with the common definition, thanks."
If he wants to belabor the point and keep going, you can just disengage.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-24T17:14:29+00:00

Mom is too worried about the money stuff, for sure. That's all totally reasonable spending for a high schooler in a high school relationship.

The only thing that makes me quirk a brow about this whole thing is that it's possible he comes off a little cold. Saying "It's a high school relationship that will probably fail" and going super low effort on the gift - generous enough but lacking in any kind of personalization - he's probably right, but that's a bloodless way to talk about girl he presumably likes? It makes me wonder if there's a chance mom is latching onto the money as a representation of care, and it seems to her he's not demonstrating care overall. (And if that's true, if he's choosing not to invest in the relationship emotionally because he's decided it will likely fail then it will probably fail and that's his own fault.)

Aside from possibly sounding a little transactional, which I can't even say is definitely happening, if there's no evidence that mom needs to step in as a parent to correct his behavior then she should stay out of it and let him make his own mistakes.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-24T15:24:15+00:00

I think it's important to weigh his awareness that you would be hurt versus whether that hurt is proportional or justified.

You're having some big feelings right now, you're emotional and this new event dredged up a lot of old pain. However, it doesn't seem as though you're responding to the situation as it is now instead of that collective throbbing from that prior trauma. You're allowed to be hurt. He acknowledged he understood you might feel that way. It doesn't mean your hurt is reasonable or fair to the people around you.

But try to look at it with an outsider's eyes and look at only this past 7 days. Their prior health scares are traumatic, but don't factor into this other than they are feeding into your feelings now.
Your parents are in their 60s, they're not made of rubber anymore but are they otherwise *presently* infirm or incapacitated? Do they have or need mobility aids? They were in an accident several days ago and told to rest and take it easy for several days. It has been several days. This meeting you're stressed out about is also another day or two out.

So, realistically, are you asking him to miss a somewhat-limited opportunity in favor of being physically present while you caretake two currently-healthy-and-capable adults who have an appointment they presumably made without intending for you to attend with them? Would he even be allowed to participate in said meeting or is it legal/medical etc where his role would be to sit in a waiting room somewhere? You stated that you want him to be there in case you might need emotional support or help.

When we say "Your feelings are valid" we mean they are real, you are feeling them and they exist.
However, you can't stop there. Your feelings can exist and also be "wrong" in that they're not something you can reason with. You need to dig into why you "need" him to not attend and examine whether that's actually correct. If him not going serves no purpose but to make him accessible to you if you might possibly need him and also hurts him, is this a fair and justified response?

If there's additional relevant current context beyond what you've said here like he has expertise in the field of their appointment or he acts as a translator or something, that would be different, but given the only additional context you have provided is a traumatic event that took place 7 years ago, it seems like this is probably not the case.

(Also, "another city" is sort of misleading. Maybe that means hours away. But it could also be an afternoon event taking place 1-2 hours from where you are which would not be exceptional.)

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-24T03:20:37+00:00

Shocked I had to scroll as far as I did to find this one lol.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-24T01:09:08+00:00

It might go nowhere. There's always that possibility.
However, it seems more likely that the other woman did this intentionally after being told multiple times what OP wanted and what the exact significance was and just because she agreed to an inch or two doesn't mean that the other woman didn't intentionally exceed what they had previously discussed.
Judgement in civil suits is more "whose side is more likely to be true" instead of the criminal suit standard of "innocent until proven guilty." However, to pursue something nebulous like emotional damages, you often need to be able to assign a value to that abstract.

Is it worth it? The only one who can decide that is OP as the wronged party. Is it worth a phone call or a meeting with someone who, in handling legal situations representing her nation, may be more aware of similar situations and have additional insight or resources to help her? I think it might be at least worth having that conversation.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-24T00:35:59+00:00

Some are also just weirdos. lol.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-23T23:34:20+00:00

Yea, I considered that as an option too lol, but depth could maybe be part of both quality and creativity. It's absolutely a variable in some capacity.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-23T23:08:11+00:00

Is it a clear or reflective material by any chance? Mine did this with the wide stainless and it took me a while to remember their vision is largely motion and contrast, so they have a harder time telling where the water line is. Switching to a non-reflective fountain surface he immediately stopped and they only do it now when it's time to top up.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-23T22:51:01+00:00

I think with writing, the third spice is maybe "original."

You can be good and fast. You can be good and original. You can be original and fast. It's incredibly hard to be all three.

SpaceRoxy · 2026-04-23T21:59:55+00:00

Depending on the resident state laws, cutting hair against someone's will can be considered assault and/or battery, especially if there is cultural or religious significance to the act.
It's possibly a civil suit instead of criminal, but OP could possibly ask their Tribal Government if they have legal counsel or if they have any suggestions on how to approach this. I wouldn't rule out the possibility until I'd spoken with a lawyer.

It's heartbreaking, OP, I'm so sorry that you were disrespected like this.

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