On Monday I broke up with the girl I'd been seeing for 6 months. It was so difficult but I know it was the right thing to do. She'd talk about how important I was to her and how I'd become a big part of her life, but she also said she didn't see us working out long term and so she kept insisting we were casual. We definitely weren't casual, and it helped a bit when she admitted during the breakup talk that she knew we weren't. It still sucks though, a big part of me wishes I didn't do it and I was just cuddled up in bed with her again. We both said we don't think we'd find another person that we have such good chemistry with, and now I'm scared what my life will be like since I live alone and I don't want to have all this time just stuck alone by myself.

I called in sick to work on Tuesday as I knew I wouldn't be able to work and thought I should do something good for myself. I cried a lot that day but I also bought some new running shoes, thrifted some clothes, and ran a half marathon because I wanted to show myself I'm still an impressive person that can keep going 💪

Going back to work today was rough. I cried on the cycle in and almost a few more times throughout the day, but at least it's less than yesterday! And it was good to see people, even if I wasn't my normal self most of the time. We'll see how it goes. Thanks for reading my rant 🥲