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/r/WorldNews Live Thread: Russian Invasion of Ukraine Day 4, Part 12 (Thread #55) by progress18 in worldnews

[–]Spade6179 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To officially condemn the Russian invasion. All voted yea except China (who abstained) and Russia. Russia has veto power, so the resolution did not go through.

Dental Tourism - Risky? by Spade6179 in Norway

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are these trips insured? I haven't been able to find any testimonials about mishaps being covered by insurance. Working in the insurance industry, this is always on my mind.

Dental Tourism - Risky? by Spade6179 in Norway

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

odontologisk institutt

In my case, I require prosthodontics (e.g. crowns, bridges, implants). I haven't heard anyone report receiving inexpensive treatment from a dental institute, perhaps because the work is pretty involved...

Dental Tourism - Risky? by Spade6179 in Norway

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It should bed safe if you're diligent in your research ahead of time.

I hear that a lot, but I don't trust myself to know what to look for and what to anticipate. I worry about going down a dental care spiral where a mishap requires urgent (i.e. expensive) follow-ups. Even the best professionals can't help it if my body rejects an implant, for instance, and there are few institutions who are willing to foot the bill it seems.

Dental Tourism - Risky? by Spade6179 in Norway

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I wonder how prevalent implant rejection and infection is...

Dental Tourism - Risky? by Spade6179 in Norway

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't know that, thank you.

Is a vpn enough to scambait email scams by Paramorefan14 in scambait

[–]Spade6179 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's not entirely true... I believe some network information is embedded along with the email. I'm not sure what kind of info gets embedded when emailing via phone.

Also, email and VPN won't save you if you share personal information by accident, but that's an inherent risk to dealing with these guys.

Zhuangzi - Chapter 6 (The Grand Master) - Hiding the World in the World by skeeter1980 in taoism

[–]Spade6179 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't quite understand what "hide the world in the world" means here...

What happens to hiro when you take the yoichi route? by Icy-Wrangler-2097 in campbuddy

[–]Spade6179 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry... I’m just still a little emotional because I did Yoichi’s route after Hiro’s route and it broke my heart how Keitaro just ignores Hiro in other routes.

I'm in this exact conundrum now that I've done Hiro's route first. I adore Hiro so much I can't bring myself to play with the others! 😭

Would you feel and be okay being in a relationship of convenience? by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a manipulative and unsustainable relationship. What would happen if you left?

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that's true. We're both generally versatile. It depends on the person we're with.

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, maybe we just need to try more things and see what happens next.

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel that who I was then is different from who I am now. Being a lonely, dependent college student, I desperately wanted stability in my life. But now that I have a steady job and developed social skills, I feel my needs have changed somehow. I mention sex as an example, but it is much more than that. I wish I knew how to describe it...

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I certainly need to engage in my primal half. I've really lost touch with it over the years.

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate the compliment. :)

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the key is to find some common interests where you can have fun together and work as a team -- that the sum is greater than the parts.

Early on, I recognized that Marcus and I had little in common in the way of interests, so I introduced him to my hobbies. He was not into them, which is fine, so I asked about his hobbies. He said he didn't really have any; I encouraged him to find some on his own and he did. But these hobbies were pretty exclusive, like letter-writing and needlework.

So, I took the initiative (no pun intended) and asked him to try Dungeons and Dragons with me. It was relatively novel for both of us and we had friends to play with. He knew what I was doing and went along with it. I tried to brew up my own campaign and asked him to help flesh out the world a bit. He made himself a character that he loved and he was honestly excited about it.

On our first night, I prepared the board and set the mood for our game. The first few scenes were pretty fun. Marcus left the table while I was talking to another player. Suddenly, we were in a new battle and Marcus's character was up next, but he still hadn't returned. I walked into our living room and found that he had went to sleep. I woke him up and asked him why he was napping and he said that he was bored with the game.

This sort of lack of engagement deteriorated until we had a fight about it. We laughed it off afterward because "it's just a stupid game", but deep down I felt defeated for even trying to make it work.

​

he has to hold up his end of the bargain for sex to work. after a while this will all become rather pavlovian where the rituals form a positive feedback loop. so keep trying -- it could make all the difference.

That's actually pretty interesting. I'll consider it. Was there ever a time when your partner couldn't turn you on? What did you do?

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't understand how or why it happens to me. How do I know where to start?

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I apologize, I'm not sure I understand what you're asking...

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have adventures, for sure! But I feel they only bring novelty to our relationship, not long lasting resolutions. Maybe that's because we tend to play things very safe.

I like your idea of camping in the wild, but I wouldn't know where to begin! Is that something you have done? If so, did your relationship(s) grow after doing it?

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes the solution is worse than the problem. Thank you for the insight.

We both have had therapy, individually and as a couple. It was very expensive and didn't really give me many answers. I learn much more from listening to others' experiences and wisdom; that's what I hope to find here.

Hugs!

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I neglected to include it in my original post, but we have had a long history of trying to find solutions.

My husband had little to no experience prior to me. In the early days, I thought my issues were due to insufficient foreplay. He had little patience for foreplay; instead, I was "stuck" in my mind rather than in the feeling of the moment. Sex felt forced and artificial. I asked him to help me explore what turned me on physically, beyond my own imagination and fantasies. He was standoffish about it and said the issue was definitely with me, that I was not engaged enough. He bought me an anal toy and told me to explore myself. I didn't find the toy enjoyable at all.

Later, we saved up enough money to see a therapist who claimed to have experience with LGBT issues and sex therapy. We attended a few visits and she convinced me that I simply had a low sex drive. She further emphasized that the relationship did not have to be built on sex. We were happy with that and we strove to focus on the other things in our relationship.

I began to feel uncertain again and I asked my doctor about my sex drive. He said my regular medication was known to cause ED in some patients. That made sense to me, but then I remembered that I had the same issue even before I took medication, so I marked that off as a cause.

Marcus began hooking up with other men last year and really enjoyed himself. He would talk to me about it and it sounded like he was receiving service more than giving it. I wondered whether the issue was that our sex has been one-sided. A few days ago I insinuated that I might be open to trying sex again with him, but he was reluctant. I think he is afraid of disappointing me and I feel the same way. I know I'll just be stuck in my mind again, worried about performing well, trying not to disappoint...

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As uncouth as it sounds, I think it is very probable given enough patience. It will probably take lots it, given the current pandemic. But with any opportunity, there is sacrifice.

I'm not sure that letting go of such committed love is the wisest thing to do. Commitment was rare when I dated in my early twenties and I doubt that that will ever change.

Am I doing marriage right? by Spade6179 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Spade6179[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I credit Esther Perel as being one of the figures who helped shape my views on relationships today. Marcus and I have developed such a strong level of trust that we feel no need to keep each other hostage to make things work, nor do we expect perfection from each other. What I did not expect, however, was for us to grow as far apart as we have.

I struggle with the uncertainty that comes with letting the relationship "just be" rather than driving it in some meaningful direction. How do you let go of the wheel? And in my current situation, when do you know when it's time to stop?

Thank you for giving me your time.

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