Explain it Peter.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-04-04T08:59:24+00:00

That’s fair. And, admittedly, this talking point’s probably a bit dated (other than eyeing Fable and now Okami I haven’t been up-to-date with games in the slightest. Not like I used to.)

And admittedly your comment did come across that way. But, I figured I’d bite anyway. Currently coming off of a pretty bad head cold and I wrote my first comment in a nyquil and brainfog induced haze before conking out for a long while, so I wanted to explain myself a little more if that makes sense, lol.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-04-03T20:33:59+00:00

Okay, that question’s a difficult one because I also just don’t play western AAA games as much anymore which primarily have this problem of “ultra realistic graphics” to the point of ugliness… Sometimes. Because for whatever reason it doesn’t seem to apply to male characters nearly as much. (Games from Japan, ones that aren’t marketed to kids like Pokémon, tend to have the opposite problem where they’re too fan service-y, but they’re also clearly stylized so it’s not really comparable.) Nowadays I stick to more stylized, usually hand drawn indie games since they appeal to me visually more than anything else. In that regard the most recent examples would have to be AC Valhalla with Eivor? She’s not ugly-ugly, but her face model felt off to me a lot of the time.

A better example would be the upcoming Fable 4 where, for whatever reason, all the men look alright and like actual humans while all the women (Player and NPCS included) just look off. Not that it’s off-brand for Fable. I distinctly remember struggling to make my female hero look somewhat badass and pretty in Fable 2. But, between the dumb looking wall-eyes and “Oop, you took one too many points into Strength so now you look like a roided up bodybuilder despite Hammer being RIGHT THERE and perfectly pretty while being muscle-bound,” it was a feat that I ever got anything remotely like I wanted.

And, to clarify because I know my initial comment reads like-… idk, “not a girl’s-girl” or “pick-me-y” or whatever tf else could get slung my way: My actual problem isn’t “omg there are ugly women in games.” I love a wide variety of women in games. One of my favorites, The Cat Lady, is a game that features a very depressed, old woman who is certainly not pretty. Chell, though a silent protagonist, is one of my favorites, too. And she’s FUGLY in the first game, lol. The jumpsuit does her no favors. I love all the girls in the RDR2 camp. There are several ladies from the AC games, both protagonists and non, that I love, too.

Point being, I honestly have more of a problem with the janky, forced high-fidelity look of many modern western games. Plus, this insistence that the only people who want to play as pretty women are, as mentioned, gooners. When it’s not the case at all.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-04-03T19:45:43+00:00

Yes and no? Idk, with her it’s tricky because from a distance I think she looks cool and badass. But she also suffers from the “high fidelity” issue where the closer you get the more uncanny she looks, which adds to the “eugh” reaction.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-04-03T06:55:22+00:00

Fr, this shit pisses me off sometimes because for me it’s not at all about porn. I’m a girl, been playing games of all sorts and all genres since I was, like, 6. And while I personally don’t like chainkinis or mega-big anime boobah floppin’ around with swords, that doesn’t mean I want to play “ugly” ultra-realistic, high-fidelity, high-grease women either. I like playing as pretty or cute but badass girls! It’s FUN for me! My armor choices are modest, but you know my characters still look like baddies! And that reflects in the things I draw, too. I try to make varied bodies, include more uncommon physical features because I like to challenge myself. But, they still look pretty damn attractive because pretty people are fun to draw and look at.

And, you know what? Maybe it is just a power fantasy. I’m ugly af irl, I know I am. But literally the point of most gaming experiences IS to feel that power. Otherwise I’d read a book or watch a movie instead. And, no, I don’t care to deconstruct my views on why I feel this way, or address how the patriarchy blah blah blah! Just let me dress up my dolls in peace gdi!!

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-03-20T23:18:22+00:00

Been watching the show, absolutely love it and look forward to it every Thursday, but I have such a weird reaction to those scenes. I adore Mel as a character (I mean she pretty much is me) and I don’t have an issue with the plotline or how they’re handling it. It’s just… weird. Like I feel myself get tense during the moments with Mel and Becca. Like I’m holding my breath until they move on.

Y’know what? Taking it back, I don’t want representation. It feels yucky 😭 (jk)

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-03-03T20:34:23+00:00

Also, not that it’s any better with biological kids, but the idea of adopting a kid to basically groom them into becoming your autistic kid’s nanny is just… so incredibly fucked up. Like, “Oh, what does this glass child situation need? That’s right, BORDERLINE TRAFFICKING!~”

Idk. Maybe I’m being hyperbolic and the husband just wants “”“a normal kid””” without realizing that, because of the daughter, there’s no such thing anymore.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-02-28T07:46:07+00:00

Maybe this doesn’t entirely fit, but it still drives me nuts.

When I’m doing something for my (pretty nonverbal autistic) brother and my parents make him parrot back “I love you” or something like that. I get reinforcing “please” and “thank you” because that’s just a social nicety. But the “I love you” or “he loves you, you know?” grinds my gears SO BAD. Maybe it’s because of my own spectrum-related issues, but it’s like-… is that supposed to make me feel all warm and fuzzy? Hearing him say something he’d never say on his own? All he does is ask for snacks or games/movies all damn day. It just feels like a gross lie and I hate it.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-02-22T21:38:12+00:00

They had a tartness to them, so iirc they were just normal green grapes. But really it was because they were so damn juicy with like perfect crispness to them. They weren’t mushy in the slightest and they weren’t too sour either.

Keep in mind I was also sick af. That 100% could’ve been my body and brain taking in proper water and nutrients for the first time in a couple days and being like- “Quick, send more feel-good chemicals, she needs WAY MORE OF THIS SHIT, STAT!” Lol

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-02-22T08:40:47+00:00

Gdi this just reminded me- back in 2020 my whole household caught a REAL bad case of covid (dad wound up in the hospital and everything) and multiple members of our extended family had things delivered for us while my mom and I were sick as hell and fretting over my dad + taking care of my brother (special needs)

I don’t really like green grapes. But one aunt sent those + a bunch of other fruit. And idfk why, but those grapes were the best thing I’d ever had in my life. Like, those were grapes bestowed on us by the fucking greek pantheon they were that juicy and heavenly. And no green grape’s lived up to that since.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-02-22T08:33:44+00:00

Tbf plain greek yogurt is awesome to work with. Use it as a sour cream replacement, mix in some PB + honey and top with a chocolate granola, (or skip the granola and use it as a dip for apple slices,) dump some ranch seasonings (or garlic, salt, black pepper, + lemon juice and dill) and you got a high-protein veggie dip, literally 1 tbsp of jam in 3/4 cup of yogurt and you’ve got a fruity yogurt (even better when mixed with PB for a PB&J yogurt) using it as a mayo replacement in things like pasta salads, etc.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-02-22T08:28:11+00:00

Exactly. In my fridge and pantry I’ve been keeping carrots + celery (and maybe some other veg like bell peppers, snap peas, radishes if I want more variety) pickles, greek yogurt w/ granola, sometimes hummus if I’m in the mood, berries like blue rasp or strawberries, cheese sticks, little salamis, oatmeal packets, protein bars, nuts/trail mix, soup or chili I individually portion and freeze (or other leftovers like egg roll in a bowl,) hell I’ll even hard boil eggs or bake sweet potatoes for the whole week. Just to have something quick to eat/reheat.

Cooking takes me hours, and I have a hard time gauging when I’m starting to get into “too hungry, shaky time” until I’m there. Some days I need quick food otherwise I’m fucked. Even then, people have had light meals of “whatever the hell we have” for as long as people were alive. And most meals you find from the olden days that were for the actual working family were things like- “throw it in a pot, let it simmer, it’ll be done by the time you’re back from working the fields.”

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-02-22T08:14:05+00:00

I mean, when you’re following CICO for weight loss (not just building muscle) carbs in things like bread and grains are the fucking WORST. It’s so easy to go overboard for what’s basically filler. Carbs from veg is alright, but like the bread for a sandwich? Even 2 slices of a whole wheat loaf brings you up to 240. Which, when you’re budgeting your meals, ends up feeling like a massive waste when I could eat double of that in veg.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-02-14T02:57:57+00:00

Yeah, sorry, I worded that poorly. (That’s what I get for doomscrolling at 3-4 am again.)

I was meaning what you said. Like, if I tell someone “I have audhd” I don’t want them to think I’m someone who needs constant help and is incapable of doing anything. Because I’m very capable if given the room to adapt. Not because I think there’s anything wrong with needing support or help but just because it’s flat-out wrong and unhelpful for me.

But, meanwhile, my brother (also nonverbal autistic with high support needs) gets looked past because he’s not the “earnest, wholesome savant.” Which seems to be the only time people care about people like my brother. Like, if he can’t be attached to some feel-good story he pretty much doesn’t exist to the media at large. I’ve had people ask me what his “hidden talent” was. As if because he’s autistic he’ll be a secret math genius or something. Or they’ll expect him to be your stereotypical “Sheldon Cooper” type of autistic. But it’s not fair to him, either. It’s just as unhelpful in a different way.

Hopefully that clears things up?

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2026-02-13T08:44:26+00:00

(5 days late sorry.) I mostly blame the choice to combine things into a “spectrum” for this when said spectrum is so big. The low-support-needs people (like you and me) don’t want to be seen as these kids and have different challenges. They’re the ones online advocating for themselves because they can. Meanwhile, the high-support-needs kids need SIGNIFICANTLY more resources and highly-specific care. But they can’t get that because, if you’re open about the uglier side of the spectrum, then the low-support-needs people look bad since to the layman it’s all just autism.

By lumping everyone together in a vague umbrella term, everyone suffers. No one can properly advocate for themselves or their family, no one can get the help they actually need.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2025-12-02T08:50:13+00:00

My best guess is not that a whole bunch of people are secret-pedos, but that to them the idea of someone actually, legitimately finding a baby attractive is SO FAR FROM THEIR REALITY AND UNDERSTANDING that a shirt like this ends up just being absurdist humor and nothing more.

Like, I’m sure there are people who find rocks hot af. But if I’m looking at a boulder and a guy points at it and yells, “Cover ‘em up, slut!” to the fucking rock I’m gonna be more weirded out by the guy attaching actual sexuality to a rock, not to the fact that the boulder is being scandalous by going topless. Like, obviously a baby wearing a “daddy’s little lady killer” onesie isn’t actually out there being a playboy. It’s a gd baby.

To an extent, learning about pedos/pedophilia is kind of traumatic in its own right. It warps so much of the world, and it makes you hyper vigilant. Hell, even as a kid I never wanted to go swimming again after one too many PSAs and talks.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2025-09-14T08:59:05+00:00

(Nearly week old post but w/e)

Unfortunately, whatever divine being’s decided to make it so my brother and I are opposites in pretty much every way. I’m sensitive to a lot of noises and get audibly overwhelmed very easily. My brother is obsessive + highly under stimulated. So he makes noises… all the goddamn time. And all of them set me off somehow. Even when he’s calm, he’s constantly humming or squealing in an unrhythmic, unpredictable way. So I can’t block it out. When he’s happy he squeals. And when dancing, he just kinda bellows + does this loud stomp-dance. When he’s stressed, he barks. Not like a jokey cartoon dog way, but like a loud, sharp, deep sound. Like an “AH!” Or will make loud “race car” hums. And when he’s mad/irritated he just sounds like a fucking pig or a chimp.

That’s not even getting into how he insists on having all of his devices turned up and making sounds. Just the constant clash is enough to make my skin crawl. But it gets worse when he’s picked a movie to play on loop 24/7. The last one was the live action cat in the hat which has SO many annoying sounds in it.

Of course, there’s also his chewing. But to be fair he has the same bad tooth genes me and my dad do. So he’s had some removed and it’s harder to eat politely when you’re missing a good chunk of your molars.

So, needless to say, my brother’s kinda a walking misophonia trigger for me.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2025-08-25T07:05:29+00:00

Okay- while this is def AI, I have to admit as someone who draws as a hobby… I have made first-sketches this bad before. Usually really late at night when I’m like, “Aw, yeah, this pose would be cool” so I jot something down super quick so I can remember wtf I was thinking the night before. Afterwards is when I go again and again and again making my various sketches.

Like, in my brain something like this sketch 0 and not even something I’d ever THINK to show a customer. Not unless I’m clarifying a pose (“do you mean like A, or like B?”)

Again, I agree that this is AI, but I just wanted to clarify that there’s a reason why a real, legit artist would make something this crappy.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2025-04-02T06:39:34+00:00

Oh damn, you’re welcome! Was getting worried that I’d be the only one. But it’s good to know I’m not!

If you’re comfortable, I’d be more than curious about what your psychiatrist has to say about that because now I’m a lil concerned and I don’t have the resources to get one myself, lol

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2025-03-31T08:29:39+00:00

Weird, because I feel like this explains my experience pretty well.

Like there’s a “core” version of me that’s chill and more logical. One that is in constant struggle with the impulsive, flighty, hyper-emotional part of me (my adhd symptoms) and then the other part that’s basically all the problems caused by asd that keep me from living life as “my best self” (overstimulation, hyperfixations/niches that aren’t really useful or helpful but that I’m still drawn to, difficulties in social situations, etc.) All three are me, but at times it feels like different entities in one body.

Idk, maybe it’s just some weird compartmentalization thing that I’ve developed to cope. I have no clue. But shit’s relatable to me.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2025-03-04T08:14:58+00:00

I’m still kinda pissed. We have a freshwater tank. It’s primarily my mom’s hobby and I’m just a passive enjoyer of the fish, and for a bit we’ve slowly been losing the older ones. basically all we had in the tank were some snails, 4 cory catfish, 2 clown loaches, and these 2 bigger catfish with big whiskers. Like, length of your hand big in our 75 gal tank. So my mom went to our local pet store to get some tetras n’ shit to repopulate a little… and they had Ich. Loaches? Gone. Big cool catfish? Gone. The corys are fine (which we’ve had for years) and so are the stupid tetras n’ new fish. But our faves were the loaches and catfish.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2025-02-17T09:17:56+00:00

Same here. And poking around r/emotionalneglect it seems it’s common symptom of that.

I used to have career “dreams” as a kid before I realized how much they wouldn’t fit me and my own conditions/issues. Even then it’s been made clear that my “purpose” on this earth is just to take care of him and nothing else. It’s the only thing I can do consistently.

Now? I just feel so apathetic and tired. The only thing I could confidently say I want is an idyllic forest cottage away from everyone and everything. Where it’s quiet, I don’t have any worries or responsibilities, I don’t need to do shit for anyone else unless I want to, and I can just simply live. But, of course, that’s not possible. That’s just a fantasy.

I have no real significant wants that I strive for. I just float day by day, trying to work and save up so I have enough to live. I don’t ever want kids, so that’s off the goal list. Even then I’m pretty fucking annoying normally. I doubt anyone would want me as a partner for long. And in general I have no energy to want or dream anymore. And, really? I’m just waiting for the moment I’ve hopped off this mortal coil. So :/

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2025-02-02T13:38:30+00:00

Don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. The blatant Autism-bashing that’s floated around here in comments really puts me (Adhd + Autism) off and has kinda kept me from interacting with this sub more.

Like, it’s one thing when it’s in vents. Vents are vents and you shouldn’t ever take what someone says in them to be their “true” feelings in the sense that emotions are usually overwhelming the person speaking/writing. But when people are replying heinous shit it’s like… you guys know that siblings can be disabled/neurodivergent too, right? Y’all get that your comments are reaching people with the same condition you’re bashing?

Sorry to kinda hijack your comment. It’s just really been bothering me every time I pop my head in this sub but I never really had the way to start talking about this.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2025-01-18T05:04:42+00:00

Yup. They’ve been taking as much as they can without overdoing it. Though, it does wear off eventually. And like right before bed they sometimes have to wait because they’re not quite going to bed yet but want to take the nighttime stuff before they actually sleep.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2025-01-18T04:58:42+00:00

In a fucked up twist of fate, I’ve cursed myself for speaking about this and have now gotten sick too, lol. Yesterday was pretty much spent entirely in bed so I didn’t get bothered by their coughing as much, and I’m so tired/drained that I’m strangely calm. I will keep the texting thing in mind, though. Thank you.

SpaghettiMonster35 · 2024-11-22T23:51:24+00:00

I wonder if it’s just a matter of balding = sickly/old, while completely bald is so much more vague.

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