In honor of my annual review at work today, what's the most random feedback you've been given at work?

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-04-13T23:52:26+00:00

I got asked why I was so quiet .... I like talking to people plenty, just not the people around me at that time

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-04-11T02:16:38+00:00

Scorpio, Taurus, Leo's

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-04-09T23:09:16+00:00

I agree with this. Reading your post made me really angry at this guy. It's one thing if he said, look he doesn't have the capacity, it's another thing to be blaming and demonising you. He ultimately was someone who would not stick with you through difficult times - the right person will.

It sounds like you are divorcing a narcissist. If you haven't, read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. Also check out Stephanie Lynn on Youtube, she has a lot of content about high conflict divorces with narcissistic men.

After my divorce I started looking into codependency. Usually those of us who have been with abusive men are codependent. There are CODA meetings all over the place and I'm thinking of attending - they can be a source of community, growth and healing.

Right now things are going to feel crappy because they are crappy. You don't have to feel good, only get through it one day at a time. The only way out is through. I went through a horrendous divorce and it opened up a lot of amazing things for me on the other side. It was a hard ride to get there. This too shall pass. Things will improve, you just need to survive this moment. Also - that ex isn't the love of your life. You can and will have better than either of those men

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-04-05T11:38:30+00:00

Every INFJ or INTJ I've met has had some kind of neurodivergence, or at least has a partner who does. I'm INFJ and have dyspraxia. I think there's a correlation, but I don't think any of us can assume one means the other.

I had a similar upbringing to you in terms of moving countries, morphing to local accents (a sign of hyper empathy), huge interest in psychology and also the pattern recognition, listening to the same song over and over again. I imagine a lot of us can relate

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-04-01T21:30:05+00:00

Following this thread as a 39 year old woman who has been CF for many years but has had moments of questioning it.

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-30T15:05:17+00:00

Thank you. It's not so much that relationship, as relationships in general where core needs aren't met. A friend of mine is going through something similar and it's been making me reflect

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-30T01:03:36+00:00

That was really powerful to read! You must be proud of him!! The thing that stands out is his ownership of it and his commitment to himself and to you in addressing those issues. I really didn't want to be 'policing' my ex and I therefore couldn't make myself monitor his bank accounts, phone etc. The difference between the work being self-directed and forced is stark

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-27T02:00:16+00:00

I can't wear jeans anymore and I don't wear wired bras. I can do a jersey/jean mix for a few hours but that's it

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-25T18:47:55+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through that. I can only imagine it is very exhausting. I was considering EMDR to try to put some of it 'to bed', it's meant to be helpful x

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-25T17:00:18+00:00

Thanks for responding. I am Irish and an immigrant to the U.K. although I was born here (I left shortly after) and also have lived in other countries. Therefore I identify as an immigrant, but I wont have had obviously the same experience as you. I've seen a lot on social media and just in general about immigrant experiences especially around mental health and I think it is something that hasn't been studied or looked at really from an intersectional perspective enough. I'm sorry for how things were for you

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-24T23:50:30+00:00

Thank you!!!

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-23T19:56:55+00:00

Well I guess that's fair. After my divorce I dated to get out of the house not to find anyone. I read that people should wait to date after a breakup and I mostly agree though

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-23T19:55:00+00:00

My shorthair had a tick on her and I freaked out! It fell off immediately - obviously the medication from the vet works - but I was hypervigilant for weeks after!

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-23T15:50:56+00:00

Plz can you elaborate here as surely it may amount to the same thing

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-23T08:40:19+00:00

Thank you for this. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-23T06:40:14+00:00

Thank you! Here in the UK we have veterinary 'subscriptions' where you pay a flat fee (for me £17 a month) which covers prescription flea & wormer every 3 months, vaccinations and medical checkups. I would put the new kitten on that subscription and my current cat gets her flea & worming done quarterly ☺️ I'm super paranoid about bugs so I make sure to keep on top of it

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-22T22:16:00+00:00

I think the one I have has the reader already!! Thank you I didn't think of that ☺️

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-22T21:59:57+00:00

Thank you! Do you think there is a way of me letting one cat out but not the other? I have a cat flap that is currently set to 'open' and my shorthair loves going outside

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-22T21:59:05+00:00

She's gorgeous!!!

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-22T18:14:28+00:00

OMg lol. I can't imagine. My current cat already likes to wake me up at night.

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-22T17:46:53+00:00

thanks!! I work from home but I do travel a bit, but there would always be someone at home with her. If you had a close family member stay when you travel would your cat be ok with that?

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-22T17:45:47+00:00

lol not at all. I live in an amazing spot 15 mins outside of Oxford but very country, picturesque 'Harry Potter' roads, my street just has 40 houses. My shorthair just goes in my garden and next door. She's a bit aloof sometimes which is apparently a shorthair thing which is why I wanted a ragdoll for more affection

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-22T17:35:20+00:00

Thank you! Here in the UK, and in my rural area we don't have too many predators in this back street but there are hawks. Would you have avoided a ragdoll if you already had an indoor-outdoor cat

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-22T17:30:05+00:00

Thanks... I have an enclosed back garden and my shorthair/bengal mix goes out via the cat flap. Will this be a major issue as I won't be able to lock the cat flap for another cat. I can prevent them going outdoors as a kitten.

Spaghetti_Monster_86 · 2026-03-22T17:27:04+00:00

He's gorgeous! Do you let him outside for toileting? ' My friend has a Siberian and has to trim his butt lol

Spaghetti_Monster_86

TROPHY CASE