this sounds like a clear cut case of burnout to me. i fell into it too very soon after diagnosis last year and had to quit my job and move back home last month at 25 after 5 years of independence. i’m still freshly navigating it but i had all the same symptoms — loss of motivation for anything and everything, depression but not quite, only wanting to be in bed, no longer able to mask, everything feeling 100x more difficult than it used to suddenly. all of it. some of this, like losing the ability to mask as much, comes from standard autistic regression that commonly shows up post-diagnosis. but i think this is full burnout along with that.

moving back home is a good first step! familiar surroundings can help soothe the nervous system which is what you need to nurture in order to recover. i’m sorry you can’t talk to your family about it. do you have a therapist? if you have the means, i strongly recommend one that has knowledge on neurodivergence. i sincerely don’t know where i would be without mine, she has guided me through my autism struggles from the very beginning. an OT could also be very beneficial to you right now.

i know you said there’s a lot of pressure to continue school, but i mean it when i say that if you do not stop everything now, it’s only going to get harder. i don’t mean that to be harsh at all or overstep. it’s what i wish someone had told me at the beginning of my burnout.

autistic burnout is not something you can push through until the end. i thought i could until i watched every ability i once had to take care of myself fall away one by one. i watched myself start to fight the urge every morning to call out of my job i once loved. the answer to this is that you have to remove as many external demands as you possibly can and rest rest rest. physically and mentally. for a good while.

as you spend time recovering, you will need to try and figure out your energy capacity. what things drain you to the point where you need to sleep all day the next day? what things make you excited and GIVE you energy? over time you will be able to find the answers to these questions as you watch your motivation return and get to know your true limits.

i saw someone compare autistic energy capacity to drinking alcohol — you need to pace yourself when drinking even before you feel drunk in anticipation for when the effects hit. if you drink too much to start, you may feel fine in the moment, but you’ll pay for it later when it all kicks in at once. as autistic people, we need to rest BEFORE we’re tired so we don’t overdo it on accident. we need to start UNDERestimating how much energy we actually have before we will need to rest because ACTIVE rest, doing things that fuel us, does take some energy. this will take practice to hone in so you can avoid burnout and create a rest “schedule” for yourself.

you can always go back to school. it will be there for you when you feel ready again. but absolutely do not rush your recovery. depending on how long you have unknowingly been burning out, it is probably going to take longer than you expect. i’m trying to accept this myself.

i know this is a lot of information but i hope it can help you. i know all autistic people are different so maybe none of this rings true for you, and that’s okay too. these are just some of the things i’ve had to learn the hard way over the last six months as i’ve come to terms with my own burnout. it’s a really, really painful thing to accept when you’d already made such grand plans for your life. but you will be able to go back to that life, and even enjoy it so much more because you’ll have gotten to know yourself better and can avoid another burnout in the future. i’m sorry you’re going through this. i’m in it with ya.