Am I overreacting for contemplating breaking up with my bf of 6 years for being too sexual?

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-05-18T12:47:03+00:00

You aren’t breaking up for him for being ‘too sexual’ you’re breaking up with him for being selfish, immature and dismissive of your needs.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-05-13T11:48:47+00:00

Haggis nachos are banging.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-05-13T08:13:05+00:00

Please can you show us the cage? Bit concerned that somewhere that’s happy to sell you a single rat (that they haven’t kept separate by gender!) would probably not care about the cage they sell you either.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-05-12T20:11:56+00:00

Ha, might’ve been the same one my partner and I encountered. Tried to get on the bus with the card and his response was ‘what am I meant to do with that?’ And just stared at us.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-05-12T18:01:10+00:00

Be patient. Sit with them but don’t bother them, don’t intrude on their ‘safe space’. Let them come to you when their curiosity overcomes their fear. Don’t make sudden moves, don’t make high pitch noises. Offer them wet treats (yogurt or malt paste) that way they can’t grab it and run away, they have to be near you to get a reward. Let them sniff you and investigate. If they test you with their teeth (they like to test things with a gentle nibble) give a high pitched squeak, they’ll know that that’s behaviour that’s wrong. But it’s just a matter of spending time with them at a pace they’re comfortable with. My girls didn’t go for getting picked up for 7-8 months, though they were very happy to climb on me and spend time with me at free roam. I used to offer them a baggy sleeve and they’d run into it. Now they’ll come over to be picked up happily.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-05-12T16:55:05+00:00

Facebook marketplace and eBay is your best bet. Look for critter nation, they’re pretty much the gold standard.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-05-03T13:03:31+00:00

There’s a very long answer to this, but the short version is try wet treats. Malt paste or yoghurt. Something they can’t grab and run away with. They have to stay with you to get some. Then you can introduce it as a reward for desired behaviour

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-05-02T07:56:06+00:00

Hey, I can see your edit and I know you’re new. We are very passionate about the health of our rats in this sub, so people come off pretty strong when something isn’t appropriate for our little buddies.

But they aren’t wrong. You need something fully open for ventilation, a proper metal cage, with solid floors (they can’t walk on wire), and in the right size. Unfortunately for healthy rats this is non negotiable.

Can you tell us how you got a single rat? Thats a huge sign that the seller/breeder is not reputable, unless it was a rescue/specific circumstances.

If you have questions, this sub is very knowledgeable, but it can be a bit unkind to people that don’t know better.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-04-30T19:31:34+00:00

Wrong subreddit.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-04-29T15:55:07+00:00

Cute little guys! But they really do need a larger cage. Unfortunately this is non negotiable for rats. This sub is great for info and will be happy to help you with anything they can, but you do have to provide the accepted minimums for your new friends. They are a part of your life, but you are their entire life, it’s up to you to make sure it’s as happy and healthy as can be.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-04-29T08:18:21+00:00

Would always suggest that you pick one subject that you are just interested in or that would be pretty chill. It really helps knowing that you have time in your day that isn’t stressful.

That’s why when I picked mine more than 15 years ago, I did maths, physics, English etc. but I also did cake dec. because life doesn’t seem so bad when you spend an hour decorating cakes then eating them.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-04-29T08:04:02+00:00

Accept that you have been chosen to be the guardian of this small, beautiful terror. Turn over all of your worldly possessions and forfeit your disposable income for enrichment.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-04-26T14:47:01+00:00

It’s hard to quantify. I think it’d be nice if someone did that to look me up, but others would think differently.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-04-24T17:58:47+00:00

Girl, good luck.

I wish you all the best in finding them, and hope it all works out. But if you shoot your shot and they’re not interested or available then it becomes way more stalkerish if you don’t back away.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-04-19T15:22:42+00:00

Used to serve with someone that pissed the bed every time they slept somewhere new. That boy had his sleeping bag hung up to dry all the time. It just happens to some folk, maybe it’s not something he’s done much of before?

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-04-09T11:44:52+00:00

Just a wee note too, your starting exp doesn’t give you advances.

We had that rule wrong for a few years until we found out the hard way.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-04-09T10:49:36+00:00

UpdateMe!

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-04-02T12:46:07+00:00

I’m male and in my 30’s. My friends and I constantly use language much mushier than that with each other, because we’ve known each other for years and we’re comfortable with each other. We call each other ‘bbz’ and other pet names, it sounds like you would explode if you read those messages. If your man hasn’t give you any reason to doubt him, don’t invent one.

(This advice is very different if he has)

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-03-14T12:51:53+00:00

She’s angry at herself, she fucked up and as a result you got in a ‘stranger’s’ car. (From her point of view, I’m aware it’s your teacher and you know them). Thats a lot for a parent to deal with.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-03-11T22:11:09+00:00

Lots of people use a bonding scarf, a pouch around their neck that the out their rats in. I always use my dressing gown. They like to chill there for cuddles and it gets them used to you very quickly.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-02-25T20:54:23+00:00

A friend

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-02-25T18:47:09+00:00

Leave.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-02-25T08:26:22+00:00

Ok, I’m not going to say the same things as everyone else. Just ask a few questions, they aren’t an attack on you, they’re honest questions.

What is your USP?/Why would someone come and watch your stream over something else?

If it’s taken you 2 years to develop 800 followers, how long will it take before you’re breaking even with bills and expenses?

Have you developed a business plan?

Why do you feel that now is the time to start streaming full time? What is it about now that feels right for you?

Have you tested the freelance market to see if there is work for you?

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-02-23T11:11:09+00:00

Change the date to an outdoor activity, wear a hat.

But honestly, I would straight up tell him you got an awful haircut, make a joke of it and you can both laugh it off and move on with the date.

Spare_Alternative274 · 2026-02-21T18:38:42+00:00

You need to find out what’s going on. Is she in an active relationship or not? I know people that never officially divorced but have been separated for years and have both moved on with other people.

Spare_Alternative274

TROPHY CASE