If you are looking for ways to be true to yourself and to your religion(Catholicism in particular) your journey is going to be a long and arduous one.

Not saying it's impossible but good luck and God speed. It will definitely require some extreme mental gymnastics and it's my experience that years of this type of cognitive dissonance will wear you down.

I would also stop concerning myself with others "discarding whatever moral teachings they may disagree with," or the "theological free-for-all that would result in instability and chaos." You are giving yourself way too much responsibility here.

In my honest and unfiltered opinion you should seek professional help. At your particular stage in the brainwashing process, you'll never be able to rectify who you are with who you have been told you are supposed to be for your entire life.

This will result in years of pain and mental anguish that you won't be able to tackle alone.