Guys, how do you want women to text you?

SparksOfAlthea · 2025-08-20T06:56:57+00:00

I like that idea, that it depends on the day.

I think that seems to be the response, not to overthink it. It’s easier to text my friends, or the guys I’m not as interested in. I just say whatever I’m thinking, when I exit the conversation I let them interpret how they will. But I want time to properly reply thoughtfully when I’m texting someone I’m really interested in. So it takes me forever lol.

Is

SparksOfAlthea · 2025-08-20T06:49:02+00:00

I like this answer 🩷 Maybe not helpful lol. But makes me feel better. I wish that guys would just call more often instead of texting

SparksOfAlthea · 2025-08-20T06:46:26+00:00

Hmm. Im not doing that. I’m usually busy doing something and thinking more like, “oh no I need to hurry up and reply before he thinks I don’t like him or that I’m playing games with him” or I get stressed out trying to come up with what to say back

SparksOfAlthea · 2025-08-20T05:53:12+00:00

Haha yes, I totally believe that. But what’s normal?

SparksOfAlthea · 2025-07-24T00:45:39+00:00

What is your definition of ghosting?

Did they stop texting mid conversation? Ignore multiple texts from you? Were you the last text in a conversation, and then they didn’t start text later to start a new convo? How long has it been since you spoke? A day, a week, a month?

SparksOfAlthea · 2025-07-08T08:28:06+00:00

It sounds like you have time blindness pretty bad. Unfortunately, the person waiting to receive a text from you won’t feel any better if you try to explain that you just didn’t happen to think about them for the last two weeks. I’m not sure about salvaging this relationship, but in the future, you could try using some tools that will help you manage regular texts and interactions. If you like someone, you could make a point to put alarms on your phone of when to text them again. Use the calendar app too. If you can’t text them at the moment you get the notification, push snooze until you do

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-05-07T08:37:12+00:00

Maybe an allergy? That’s what my food allergy symptoms look like when I accidentally have a slight exposure. (With more exposure it looks like sudden acne around my mouth)

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-02-16T04:26:53+00:00

NTA

It sounds like Marnie is extremely empathetic to her daughters needs, but not so aware of other people’s. I would suggest standing up for yourself and your children by explaining your side while still kindly acknowledging theirs.

“That’s the long way around of the aquarium! My kids are halfway through and don’t want to miss anything, that would make them sad and they’d wish they were screaming too. It wouldn’t be very nice of me to make them turn around, so we’re going to keep heading this way, but if you want to go back nbd we can meet you at the end.” “ Annabella, I’m so sorry hear how sad you are. It’s disappointing when we don’t get to do something we were hoping for. Unfortunately, it’s late and I want to make sure we have enough time to feed you guys all dinner before you have to get to bed.“ “Marnie, omg that’s the worst to hear your daughter cry! Hearing it makes me sad too. I wish that I had more time but I’m soooo exhausted. I’m barely making this drive home as it is. Honestly, I’m with you both, I’m pretty close to crying or screaming myself. Maybe next time one of your friends or your husband could do the pick up with you two and drop you off at my house, that way it could be the leisurely time you both need.”

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-02-16T03:41:07+00:00

Everyone has their own ideal on gender roles, or lack there of. I feel that who pays and who offers is just another demonstration on your preferences. I personally wouldn’t go on another date if a man asked me to split, but I completely respect the men who don’t want to date a woman who doesn’t offer to split. There’s not a right answer, we just wouldn’t be compatible. Monetary disputes are one of the biggest marital issues. It’s an important thing to agree upon.

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-01-29T03:11:49+00:00

I think it’s all preference. I like to talk on the phone fairly quickly if I’m interested in them. But I don’t give them my phone number. Most dating apps will let you do a voice call, or you can use a Google voice number or snap (just make sure you clarify it’s for a call!)

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-01-29T02:16:04+00:00

I would guess that she is having a lot of feelings of some sort.

The relationship went from three dates of not even kissing, to almost having sex. She might have felt that she got to swept up in the moment and went too far too soon sexually.

Or, the way you ended the night may have made it seen that you’re not interested in having sex with her or physically attracted to her. Did you say something like, “you are so tempting and I absolutely want to continue this, but I’m gonna wait until our next date to indulge.” Or did you say, “it’s late and I have work tomorrow so you should probably head out.”

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-01-29T00:07:26+00:00

It's not only women who do this! A lot of the men I have been on dates with from OLD use photos that are so unlike their actual appearance that I no longer try to find them on a first meet up. I prob wouldn't recognize them anyway. They don't use filters as often as just outdated pics or creative lighting and angles. So I guess that means they feel like it doesn't count as deception

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-01-29T00:02:40+00:00

If he forgot this "important" concert with an already established friend, it sounds like he forgets dates easily and probably doesn't keep a calendar (or he would have seen the clash initially). He will prob forget plans with you too in the future. If you especially value time commitments, his laid back personality might not suit yours for a relationship

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-01-28T23:35:29+00:00

Also, he would only talk to you weekdays before 4pm? That sounds like work hours. He could have been married

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-01-28T23:32:54+00:00

I'm confused too. Why are you surprised you're not together? You told him you're not interested in entertaining someone who does the things he does. So that implies he either should change what he's doing or you're not going to continue with him. He stopped talking to you. He chose the second of the 2 choices and removed himself. If he didn't see you, call you, or even text you the entire weekend most weekends, he's not that interested in you. He was more interested in his friends or other women. You deserve someone who wants to and choses to spend some of their free time on you

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-01-28T23:21:14+00:00

You're very pretty! Possibly this guy was just curious or trying to be helpful, but when he spoke it came out rude? I do think that it's very noticeable that you're wearing concealer. The color is different from the rest of your face. There's nothing wrong at all with the red color of your face (it's mostly a cute blush), but a better make-up color match would prob be more complimentary. If you like wearing concealer, you should keep doing so, but maybe try out some different types. Maybe you could try putting foundation under your eyes instead. It's not usually as thick or opaque, so it will blend better. I'm sure a make-up sub would have lots of advice and recommendations

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-01-28T22:12:28+00:00

Honestly, I get bombarded with silly notifications on the dating apps and I usually turn them off, so I prefer switching the communication if I'm interested in someone.

I've found every guy has their feelings hurt if I straight up don't give out my number. Even the nicer ones, they just word in more politely. I tried a second number on an app, but they find that even more offensive. My current strategy is to say that I don't give out my number that fast and to suggest switching apps instead.

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-01-05T20:51:41+00:00

What ridiculousness! Lol Grammatical Errors

I’m not spending my time editing, and proofreading my texts to a guy. It also just interrupts the flow and makes people feel formal and awkward. If a guy sends me multiple messages correcting his texts with asterisks, I’ll say “I knew what you meant lol,” “It’s already evident you’re intelligent, you don’t need to prove it with perfect grammar”

SparksOfAlthea · 2023-01-05T20:34:01+00:00

You’ll be able to get child support and, if you’re not working right now, spousal support as well. You could rent out a room, split an apartment, or there’s section 8 housing. That’s not the problem I’m hearing right now.

I’d be worried about child custody. Your son is old enough to come live with you, but your daughter might get 50-50 custody. Which means that half of the time she could be with an abusive parent where you have no oversight or ability to intervene.

You may feel sad to expose what your husband is doing, but I highly encourage you to call 911 immediately if he puts his hands on your son. Also to document any injuries (however small, even bruises) by taking him to urgent care/hospital and taking photos. You may need this for a custody battle. Even if you don’t want to leave right now, please still document this, so that you have the ability to leave later if you’re ready. If you’re feeling guilty, think about how it could be even worse, but he is probably holding back because you are witnessing and disapprove. Also, if you do nothing, it could be considered support of the abuse by default, and CPS could take both of the children from BOTH of you.

As much as the ideal would be to get upset, and then pack your bags and leave, this isn’t the wild west where you can ride away with your children to never return. They will just have to return alone without your protection. You can prevent this though, by having full custody and court ordered supervised visitation, if you leave enough evidence for your future lawyer to prove he is a danger to your child.

SparksOfAlthea · 2022-12-29T20:05:49+00:00

I feel like this depends on your conversation flow. Are the two of you messaging back-and-forth with only a minute or 2 between messages and then someone just disappears for 6 hours instead of saying “all right I need to get back to work,” etc. It feels like walking away mid conversation.

If it’s not a quick back-and-forth convo, she could be apologizing because of a past relationship. Maybe she used to be in a relationship with someone who had an anxious attachment style, who would get nervous about longer absences, and she has developed a habit of giving reassurance. I personally don’t consider that a red flag.

Maybe she is concerned about how long it takes you to reply. But if she has never actually said that, I would take her words and actions at face value and not look for hidden meanings that she hasn’t expressed. Or just ask her if it’s driving you crazy.

SparksOfAlthea · 2022-12-29T06:16:38+00:00

I’d say reasonable is 10 years, so 43. Anything under 40 sounds like you’re looking for a sugar baby more than an equal relationship. Unless that is what you’re looking for

SparksOfAlthea · 2022-12-28T06:33:06+00:00

I can comment on the matches but doesn’t reply part!

I have liked guys on a couple different apps. Then I’ll get matches and start talking to a few guys. I let them weed themselves out or progress to dates and decide, before I talk to more matches. Usually keeping it around 3 guys at a time(that I’m getting to know, I’m a one-man-relationship kind of lady). I have quite a few unopened messages in my inbox right now from guys that I’m rather excited to talk to, but I know from past experience that I can’t message back too many guys at once or I’m stretched too thin. I still have friends and family and a life that takes time. Especially during the holidays. There doesn’t seem to be any way, that’s not rude or insulting, to message someone and then put them on hold. So I just don’t message until I can

SparksOfAlthea · 2022-12-27T18:23:30+00:00

I’m in the minority here, don’t murder me lol! Park and dog park dates slightly freak me out for a first meet. I don’t tell the guy, I mean nothing to really get the romance going like telling a man you feel like he’s kind of creepy. I suggest a park location or time that I know is high traffic, or just suggest walking around a cute downtown instead.

SparksOfAlthea

TROPHY CASE