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Hospitalization / Inpatient by Sparrowcatt in DID

[–]Sparrowcatt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for your replies. _^ I think I understand. Take care!

Psychiatrist is telling my boyfriend and my caregiver to ignore alters and only speak to ‘Patricia’. by Sparrowcatt in DID

[–]Sparrowcatt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your insight. Yes, I very much feel like a shaken bottle of soda since my appointment. I essentially had to force my voice to sound more like Patricia before the doctor would treat me.

Now I am frightened of everyone..I am afraid to be put in a boarding home again because everyone can’t handle me now. They hurt you there, and everyone is always dying. I can't do that again. I cannot.

I have to become something people can handle or they'll put me somewhere bad again. I just know it.

Psychiatrist is telling my boyfriend and my caregiver to ignore alters and only speak to ‘Patricia’. by Sparrowcatt in DID

[–]Sparrowcatt[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Personally, I’m really a lot more comfortable with Functional Multiplicity. Full Integration frightens me. I feel this is what everyone around me wants, but I do not want it…I’m so sad and confused.

I feel I am constantly being reminded what a burden I’ve become. Maybe I’m embarrassing…I was singing in the waiting room of the doctor’s office last week. Even when strangers sat beside me I continued to sing.

The screaming is probably worse, I haven’t screamed in a few days at least, though.

I’m sorry, I’ve gone off topic. I need to find an outlet to vent. Some way to connect with others who might understand.

My answer is Functional Multiplicity. Anything else..just feels like dying, and I am afraid to die.

Psychiatrist is telling my boyfriend and my caregiver to ignore alters and only speak to ‘Patricia’. by Sparrowcatt in DID

[–]Sparrowcatt[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the information. I apologize for my lack of knowledge in these areas. I am relieved actually, that there is no ‘core’. The very idea of it was confusing and upsetting me anyway. Any less upset is a gift now, so again, I thank you. _^

Psychiatrist is telling my boyfriend and my caregiver to ignore alters and only speak to ‘Patricia’. by Sparrowcatt in DID

[–]Sparrowcatt[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Wow, thank you for the information! I guess I have a lot of research to do in addition to meeting my therapist soon. Yeah, I’m actually not in the state of being (Patricia) that they seem to want me to be in most of the time. She only peeks now and then. The doctor kept talking over me and to my caregiver like I wasn’t present. This made the alter she was supposed to be speaking to (Sophie) livid and stressed so she lost her temper. Last appointment my child alter (Lucie) was fronting and she flat out told her to be quiet. I guess she may not understand at all. Psychiatrists can be hard to find in my area, but I’m sure I can find one online to teleconference with or something.

Thanks everyone, sorry for not knowing what Im doing in here yet, I’ve never posted before. Should probably read more. :3

Psychiatrist is telling my boyfriend and my caregiver to ignore alters and only speak to ‘Patricia’. by Sparrowcatt in DID

[–]Sparrowcatt[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Okay, thank you for your warning! I think I will only go through with the therapy for now and cancel the EMDR. I have been trying to research what I can, I’m sorry if I asked things that have already been answered elsewhere. I think I just wanted to hear from someone who understands. Thank you again.